“All you cared about was stupid Rick- and see how that turned out…”

“All you cared about was stupid Rick- and see how that turned out…”

Ouch!

During my recent confrontation with my daughter, neither of us was being very kind to one another when she let that one fly…

She is convinced I love Rick, John, my son, everyone but her…

Liz never warmed to my now former fellow- she was, I think, a little jealous of my close relationship with him. I think she fails to see how many times he supported her side of whatever battle we were having, talking me down from the outraged mother, helping me calm myself. Reminding me she was a good kid. Because he knew my fears.

I was, at the moment of her comment, at very high volume, grounding her for having friends and adult beverages at my house. The fact that I could be arrested for her act of callous disregard for the law seemed lost on her.

In this battle I was not the good calm parent- I was ABSOLUTELY FLIPPING OUT. Totally won a BAD PARENT award for this one. I yelled at her. I yelled at her friends. I sent them all home. I smashed beer bottles…I hit my child…

I hit the love of my life. I lost control in that moment of anger and hit her.

I have a LONG family history of substance abuse and alcoholism is a devastating family trait. My NO TOLERANCE drinking/drugs policy is not a secret. I am not the “cool” mom who is “okay” with it. And this is not a secret. Never has been.

Never gonna happen!

Clearly this was not our first battle on this topic.

But I love my daughter. I get that being 17 is hard. I get that having a parent-free house with a pool on a day in the 90s is hugely tempting.

But WHY okay the beer? Why not just tell them- my mom is insane about that so we can’t?

Yes, I am terrified that she could be the one who ends up with a problem… that she could end up an alcoholic like so many relatives before her.

I cannot live with a drunk again. Even one I love more than my own life. I cannot give up anymore of my life to that horrific disease. I will not!

But I struck my baby in anger. And broke my own heart by hurting hers. May God forgive me.