I read a blog post "When An Ex-Spouse Dies" and it felt like it was written just for me. Joanne Funch states:
"It’s complicated and referred to as disenfranchised grief. Disenfranchised grief refers to losses that are not publicly acknowledged, socially supported, and openly mourned."
It really hits home on this week of all weeks. I found out on Monday that Tuesday was the one year anniversary of the death of a man I used to know. He died after a 3 year battle with cancer. I had not seen him in over twenty years, and it feels like we knew each other ten lifetimes ago. But we had a child together- the son I placed for adoption. And I feel sadness now, for both of them.
And for myself.
Disenfranchised grief- because how can I say my heart hurts for someone I haven't thought about in ages?
Because the adoption was a choice we both made, but that he kept silent about his whole life, as far as I know.
Because I got to meet our son as an adult and he never got to experience the wonderful gift we gave the world.
I am sad for all the loss. Rest in peace.
