I want to fall in love again. for keeps this time. Forever.
Last year a friend asked me what my "must haves" were, and I didn't really have a good answer. So I thought about it. What do I want- I want someone who really loves me... but what does that really look like? I want a man who is faithful to God... but what does that really mean?
I pondered it for a really long time. I wrote list after list. And I crossed things off, added stuff and threw out the list and started all over.
Love, honesty, kindness... Honor...commitment...
And I am still not sure I have everything I need, but I need to start somewhere:
My must haves:
1. I want a man who does not smoke or use drugs recreationally. Ever.
2. I want a man who drinks only occasionally or not at all.
3. I want a man who is intelligent in his area of expertise and a good conversationalist.
4. I want a man who enjoys the physical side of a loving relationship.
5. No Porn- it is just not okay.
6. He must be tolerant of all lifestyle choices- to each his own.
7. He must accept that my kids are a permanent part of my life and that family has a big role in my world.
8. He must be supportive of me and my viewpoint, even when it differs from his own- agree to disagree.
Things that would be nice to have:
1. Well read
2. Well-travelled
3. Nice smile
4. Beautiful eyes
5. The manners of a gentleman
Please let me know what is missing... Because I am sure I missed something...
Thursday, March 28, 2013
Wednesday, March 27, 2013
Stuebenville
In a 2011 post, I touched on the crime of date rape... But to read what happened to a 16 year old girl at the hands of boys she knew, while surrounded by children she knew... The story left me cold.
I cannot believe her friends left her in that state. I cannot believe NOBODY stepped in on her behalf. I cannot believe photos and video were shared and laughed over...
HOW DID NOBODY KNOW WHAT THEY WERE DOING WAS WRONG?!?!
The defense of the those charged made me sick to my stomach.
It was her fault she got so drunk... but she wasn't so drunk... It was her fault, she didn't say no... They did nothing wrong...
Hey Stupid- there are pictures. EVERYWHERE! Of you, Stupid! Oh, and video, too...
WHO RAISED THESE CHILDREN?!?
After the guilty verdict, this survivor was threatened- two girls were arrested. CNN's reporter showed more concern for the boys who did this than for the girl who's life will NEVER be the same. CNN- you can backpedal all you want but that reporter was out of line. WAY, way out...
You know why so many women never tell when they are raped, sodomized, brutalized? Why the crimes are underreported?
Because the survivors get CRUCIFIED on the stand. And by the media. And on social media.
And I realize my anger is showing- believe me I am ANGRY. Furious, heartbroken, sad beyond words and PISSED that this happens every day, all the time, routinely. And on that night last August, nobody thought anything about it- nobody recognized it for the crime it was.
I pray for this girl and her family.
I sat down with my son last night and told him all that happened. And I told him what I expect of him. That if he ever found himself in a place where something this crazy is happening, my expectation would be for him to step up and protect the one who wasn't able to protect herself. To call for help if that was impossible. To do the right thing.
It will be a conversation again and again in the coming years. He will know that what these children did, and what the other children didn't do, is not okay. Will never be okay.
I cannot believe her friends left her in that state. I cannot believe NOBODY stepped in on her behalf. I cannot believe photos and video were shared and laughed over...
HOW DID NOBODY KNOW WHAT THEY WERE DOING WAS WRONG?!?!
The defense of the those charged made me sick to my stomach.
It was her fault she got so drunk... but she wasn't so drunk... It was her fault, she didn't say no... They did nothing wrong...
Hey Stupid- there are pictures. EVERYWHERE! Of you, Stupid! Oh, and video, too...
WHO RAISED THESE CHILDREN?!?
After the guilty verdict, this survivor was threatened- two girls were arrested. CNN's reporter showed more concern for the boys who did this than for the girl who's life will NEVER be the same. CNN- you can backpedal all you want but that reporter was out of line. WAY, way out...
You know why so many women never tell when they are raped, sodomized, brutalized? Why the crimes are underreported?
THIS IS WHY!
Because the survivors get CRUCIFIED on the stand. And by the media. And on social media.
And I realize my anger is showing- believe me I am ANGRY. Furious, heartbroken, sad beyond words and PISSED that this happens every day, all the time, routinely. And on that night last August, nobody thought anything about it- nobody recognized it for the crime it was.
I pray for this girl and her family.
I sat down with my son last night and told him all that happened. And I told him what I expect of him. That if he ever found himself in a place where something this crazy is happening, my expectation would be for him to step up and protect the one who wasn't able to protect herself. To call for help if that was impossible. To do the right thing.
It will be a conversation again and again in the coming years. He will know that what these children did, and what the other children didn't do, is not okay. Will never be okay.
Tuesday, March 26, 2013
Denny Hamlin
On Sunday evening, at the end of the race in Fontana, Denny Hamlin and Joey Logano were trading paint, going for the win, when Logano came up the track and both cars were turned. Logano was able to recover and finish the race in third place, and commented in the post-race interview about Denny "He probably shouldn't have done what he did last week, so that's what he gets."
And I cringed. Because we didn't know if Denny was okay yet. Did Logano know the wreck sent Denny into a concrete wall, not the SAFER barrier? If he had, I believe he would have held his tongue.
Denny had dropped the net on his window, but the next shot was him being placed on a backboard. He was airlifted to the hospital. And he is not okay. He may not be for a good long while. Denny Hamlin has a compression fracture of his first lumbar vertebrae. So a bone in his back is broken. How badly broken? Will surgery be needed? Or just a brace and rehab? It is anyone's guess at this point.
Of course now Logano is back-pedaling- he didn't wreck Denny on purpose, it was just hard racing for a win... and his owner is on damage control:
"That's a tough thing, Joey had no idea what the situation was with Denny when he was doing the interview," Penske is quoted as saying. "It's one of those things that came out and, taken out of context, isn't what he meant. He can't take it back, but people are certainly blowing that up to mean something different than what he knew at the time."
Taken out of context? I cringed as it came out of his mouth. I watched the replay, Denny was going up the track (to block Busch, perhaps, as he was coming fast) and Logano followed him up the racetrack.
This could be bad for Logano, and I don't think the criticism is unwarranted. At very least, maybe next time he will think before he speaks.
And Denny, I hope you feel better soon, and recover and get back to racing ASAP.
The latest update: Interview at discharge
And I cringed. Because we didn't know if Denny was okay yet. Did Logano know the wreck sent Denny into a concrete wall, not the SAFER barrier? If he had, I believe he would have held his tongue.
Denny had dropped the net on his window, but the next shot was him being placed on a backboard. He was airlifted to the hospital. And he is not okay. He may not be for a good long while. Denny Hamlin has a compression fracture of his first lumbar vertebrae. So a bone in his back is broken. How badly broken? Will surgery be needed? Or just a brace and rehab? It is anyone's guess at this point.
Of course now Logano is back-pedaling- he didn't wreck Denny on purpose, it was just hard racing for a win... and his owner is on damage control:
"That's a tough thing, Joey had no idea what the situation was with Denny when he was doing the interview," Penske is quoted as saying. "It's one of those things that came out and, taken out of context, isn't what he meant. He can't take it back, but people are certainly blowing that up to mean something different than what he knew at the time."
Taken out of context? I cringed as it came out of his mouth. I watched the replay, Denny was going up the track (to block Busch, perhaps, as he was coming fast) and Logano followed him up the racetrack.
This could be bad for Logano, and I don't think the criticism is unwarranted. At very least, maybe next time he will think before he speaks.
And Denny, I hope you feel better soon, and recover and get back to racing ASAP.
The latest update: Interview at discharge
Silence of the victim
Black male code was an article that really got me thinking. I did know about the black male code until it was explained to me when I was working in the South Bronx Children's Health Center. Richard, a co-worker of mine who worked at the Manhattan office explained it to me in very basic terms. He said, "Geri, you never think about being a white woman. But every day, I am reminded that I am a black man."
He was right. I might have given thought to being female, but never consciously thought about being white.
And then George Zimmerman blamed a young black boy in a hoodie for Zimmerman killing him. He- a grown man armed with a pistol, feared for his life because the boy was black. Trayvon is dead and somehow Zimmerman is the victim...
When Robert Chambers killed Jennifer Levin, it was his story too- she asked for it because she liked it rough.
At least he went to jail.
Zimmerman will walk.
Because Trayvon was black.
People will disagree with me. But truth is truth. If it was a white kid, this man would have already accepted a plea deal. Because nobody would be saying he was justified in killing an unarmed teenager.
I pray for Trayvon's family...
And I know that God is watching over them.
He was right. I might have given thought to being female, but never consciously thought about being white.
And then George Zimmerman blamed a young black boy in a hoodie for Zimmerman killing him. He- a grown man armed with a pistol, feared for his life because the boy was black. Trayvon is dead and somehow Zimmerman is the victim...
When Robert Chambers killed Jennifer Levin, it was his story too- she asked for it because she liked it rough.
At least he went to jail.
Zimmerman will walk.
Because Trayvon was black.
People will disagree with me. But truth is truth. If it was a white kid, this man would have already accepted a plea deal. Because nobody would be saying he was justified in killing an unarmed teenager.
I pray for Trayvon's family...
And I know that God is watching over them.
Monday, March 25, 2013
This day in 1911...
The Triangle Shirtwaist Factory fire in New York City on March 25, 1911, was the deadliest industrial disaster in the history of New York City. It was also the second deadliest disaster in NYC, after the burning of the General Slocum on the East River on June 15, 1904, until the World Trade Center was attacked by terrorists and destroyed 90 years later.
The fire broke out in a rag bin toward the end of the day. There were 500 workers inside. Doors were locked, fire escapes shabby, fire hoses in the building were rotted. The Fire department hoses and ladders could not reach above the seventh floor. The elevator failed.
Jumping to certain death to escape the flames, many held hands, according to on-lookers unable to help.
In the end 146 garment workers, mostly young women, died from burns, smoke inhalation, or falling to the street below. Most of the victims were recent immigrants between sixteen and twenty-three; the oldest victim was Providenza Panno at 43, and the youngest were two 14-year-olds: Rosaria Maltese and Kate Leone.
A trial of the owners ended in aquittal- there was no way to prove they knew the doors were locked. In the civil suits that followed, they settled- seventy five dollars per victim. But the loss of these victims continues to have an impact.
As a result of the fire, a series of laws and regulations were put into place to protect the factory workers. They have been saving lives ever since.
The Dead:
Adler, Lizzie, 24
Altman, Anna, 16
Ardito, Annina, 25
Bassino, Rose, 31
Benanti, Vincenza, 22
Berger, Yetta, 18
Bernstein, Essie, 19
Bernstein, Jacob, 38
Bernstein, Morris, 19
Billota, Vincenza, 16
Binowitz, Abraham, 30
Birman, Gussie, 22
Brenman, Rosie, 23
Brenman, Sarah, 17
Brodsky, Ida, 15
Brodsky, Sarah, 21
Brooks, Ada, 18
Brunetti, Laura, 17
Cammarata, Josephine, 17
Caputo, Francesca, 17
Carlisi, Josephine, 31
Caruso, Albina, 20
Ciminello, Annie, 36
Cirrito, Rosina, 18
Cohen, Anna, 25
Colletti, Annie, 30
Cooper, Sarah, 16
Cordiano , Michelina, 25
Dashefsky, Bessie, 25
Del Castillo, Josie, 21
Dockman, Clara, 19
Donick, Kalman, 24
Eisenberg, Celia, 17
Evans, Dora, 18
Feibisch, Rebecca, 20
Fichtenholtz, Yetta, 18
Fitze, Daisy Lopez, 26
Floresta, Mary, 26
Florin, Max, 23
Franco, Jenne, 16
Friedman, Rose, 18
Gerjuoy, Diana, 18
Gerstein, Molly, 17
Giannattasio, Catherine, 22
Gitlin, Celia, 17
Goldstein, Esther, 20
Goldstein, Lena, 22
Goldstein, Mary, 18
Goldstein, Yetta, 20
Grasso, Rosie, 16
Greb, Bertha, 25
Grossman, Rachel, 18
Herman, Mary, 40
Hochfeld, Esther, 21
Hollander, Fannie, 18
Horowitz, Pauline, 19
Jukofsky, Ida, 19
Kanowitz, Ida, 18
Kaplan, Tessie, 18
Kessler, Beckie, 19
Klein, Jacob, 23
Koppelman, Beckie, 16
Kula, Bertha, 19
Kupferschmidt, Tillie, 16
Kurtz, Benjamin, 19
L'Abbate, Annie, 16
Lansner, Fannie, 21
Lauletti, Maria Giuseppa, 33
Lederman, Jennie, 21
Lehrer, Max, 18
Lehrer, Sam, 19
Leone, Kate, 14
Leventhal, Mary, 22
Levin, Jennie, 19
Levine, Pauline, 19
Liebowitz, Nettie, 23
Liermark, Rose, 19
Maiale, Bettina, 18
Maiale, Frances, 21
Maltese, Catherine, 39
Maltese, Lucia, 20
Maltese, Rosaria, 14
Manaria, Maria, 27
Mankofsky, Rose, 22
Mehl, Rose, 15
Meyers, Yetta, 19
Midolo, Gaetana, 16
Miller, Annie, 16
Neubauer, Beckie, 19
Nicholas, Annie, 18
Nicolosi, Michelina, 21
Nussbaum, Sadie, 18
Oberstein, Julia, 19
Oringer, Rose, 19
Ostrovsky , Beckie, 20
Pack, Annie, 18
Panno, Provindenza, 43
Pasqualicchio, Antonietta, 16
Pearl, Ida, 20
Pildescu, Jennie, 18
Pinelli, Vincenza, 30
Prato, Emilia, 21
Prestifilippo, Concetta, 22
Reines, Beckie, 18
Rosen (Loeb), Louis, 33
Rosen, Fannie, 21
Rosen, Israel, 17
Rosen, Julia, 35
Rosenbaum, Yetta, 22
Rosenberg, Jennie, 21
Rosenfeld, Gussie, 22
Rosenthal, Nettie, 21
Rothstein, Emma, 22
Rotner, Theodore, 22
Sabasowitz, Sarah, 17
Salemi, Santina, 24
Saracino, Sarafina, 25
Saracino, Teresina, 20
Schiffman, Gussie, 18
Schmidt, Theresa, 32
Schneider, Ethel, 20
Schochet, Violet, 21
Schpunt, Golda, 19
Schwartz, Margaret, 24
Seltzer, Jacob, 33
Shapiro, Rosie, 17
Sklover, Ben, 25
Sorkin, Rose, 18
Starr, Annie, 30
Stein, Jennie, 18
Stellino, Jennie, 16
Stiglitz, Jennie, 22
Taback, Sam, 20
Terranova, Clotilde, 22
Tortorelli, Isabella, 17
Utal, Meyer, 23
Uzzo, Catherine, 22
Velakofsky, Frieda, 20
Viviano, Bessie, 15
Weiner, Rosie, 20
Weintraub, Sarah, 17
Weisner, Tessie, 21
Welfowitz, Dora, 21
Wendroff, Bertha, 18
Wilson, Joseph, 22
Wisotsky, Sonia, 17
The fire broke out in a rag bin toward the end of the day. There were 500 workers inside. Doors were locked, fire escapes shabby, fire hoses in the building were rotted. The Fire department hoses and ladders could not reach above the seventh floor. The elevator failed.
Jumping to certain death to escape the flames, many held hands, according to on-lookers unable to help.
Photographer: Brown Brothers, March 25, 1911
A trial of the owners ended in aquittal- there was no way to prove they knew the doors were locked. In the civil suits that followed, they settled- seventy five dollars per victim. But the loss of these victims continues to have an impact.
As a result of the fire, a series of laws and regulations were put into place to protect the factory workers. They have been saving lives ever since.
The Dead:
Adler, Lizzie, 24
Altman, Anna, 16
Ardito, Annina, 25
Bassino, Rose, 31
Benanti, Vincenza, 22
Berger, Yetta, 18
Bernstein, Essie, 19
Bernstein, Jacob, 38
Bernstein, Morris, 19
Billota, Vincenza, 16
Binowitz, Abraham, 30
Birman, Gussie, 22
Brenman, Rosie, 23
Brenman, Sarah, 17
Brodsky, Ida, 15
Brodsky, Sarah, 21
Brooks, Ada, 18
Brunetti, Laura, 17
Cammarata, Josephine, 17
Caputo, Francesca, 17
Carlisi, Josephine, 31
Caruso, Albina, 20
Ciminello, Annie, 36
Cirrito, Rosina, 18
Cohen, Anna, 25
Colletti, Annie, 30
Cooper, Sarah, 16
Cordiano , Michelina, 25
Dashefsky, Bessie, 25
Del Castillo, Josie, 21
Dockman, Clara, 19
Donick, Kalman, 24
Eisenberg, Celia, 17
Evans, Dora, 18
Feibisch, Rebecca, 20
Fichtenholtz, Yetta, 18
Fitze, Daisy Lopez, 26
Floresta, Mary, 26
Florin, Max, 23
Franco, Jenne, 16
Friedman, Rose, 18
Gerjuoy, Diana, 18
Gerstein, Molly, 17
Giannattasio, Catherine, 22
Gitlin, Celia, 17
Goldstein, Esther, 20
Goldstein, Lena, 22
Goldstein, Mary, 18
Goldstein, Yetta, 20
Grasso, Rosie, 16
Greb, Bertha, 25
Grossman, Rachel, 18
Herman, Mary, 40
Hochfeld, Esther, 21
Hollander, Fannie, 18
Horowitz, Pauline, 19
Jukofsky, Ida, 19
Kanowitz, Ida, 18
Kaplan, Tessie, 18
Kessler, Beckie, 19
Klein, Jacob, 23
Koppelman, Beckie, 16
Kula, Bertha, 19
Kupferschmidt, Tillie, 16
Kurtz, Benjamin, 19
L'Abbate, Annie, 16
Lansner, Fannie, 21
Lauletti, Maria Giuseppa, 33
Lederman, Jennie, 21
Lehrer, Max, 18
Lehrer, Sam, 19
Leone, Kate, 14
Leventhal, Mary, 22
Levin, Jennie, 19
Levine, Pauline, 19
Liebowitz, Nettie, 23
Liermark, Rose, 19
Maiale, Bettina, 18
Maiale, Frances, 21
Maltese, Catherine, 39
Maltese, Lucia, 20
Maltese, Rosaria, 14
Manaria, Maria, 27
Mankofsky, Rose, 22
Mehl, Rose, 15
Meyers, Yetta, 19
Midolo, Gaetana, 16
Miller, Annie, 16
Neubauer, Beckie, 19
Nicholas, Annie, 18
Nicolosi, Michelina, 21
Nussbaum, Sadie, 18
Oberstein, Julia, 19
Oringer, Rose, 19
Ostrovsky , Beckie, 20
Pack, Annie, 18
Panno, Provindenza, 43
Pasqualicchio, Antonietta, 16
Pearl, Ida, 20
Pildescu, Jennie, 18
Pinelli, Vincenza, 30
Prato, Emilia, 21
Prestifilippo, Concetta, 22
Reines, Beckie, 18
Rosen (Loeb), Louis, 33
Rosen, Fannie, 21
Rosen, Israel, 17
Rosen, Julia, 35
Rosenbaum, Yetta, 22
Rosenberg, Jennie, 21
Rosenfeld, Gussie, 22
Rosenthal, Nettie, 21
Rothstein, Emma, 22
Rotner, Theodore, 22
Sabasowitz, Sarah, 17
Salemi, Santina, 24
Saracino, Sarafina, 25
Saracino, Teresina, 20
Schiffman, Gussie, 18
Schmidt, Theresa, 32
Schneider, Ethel, 20
Schochet, Violet, 21
Schpunt, Golda, 19
Schwartz, Margaret, 24
Seltzer, Jacob, 33
Shapiro, Rosie, 17
Sklover, Ben, 25
Sorkin, Rose, 18
Starr, Annie, 30
Stein, Jennie, 18
Stellino, Jennie, 16
Stiglitz, Jennie, 22
Taback, Sam, 20
Terranova, Clotilde, 22
Tortorelli, Isabella, 17
Utal, Meyer, 23
Uzzo, Catherine, 22
Velakofsky, Frieda, 20
Viviano, Bessie, 15
Weiner, Rosie, 20
Weintraub, Sarah, 17
Weisner, Tessie, 21
Welfowitz, Dora, 21
Wendroff, Bertha, 18
Wilson, Joseph, 22
Wisotsky, Sonia, 17
To learn more check out The Cornell website
Wednesday, March 20, 2013
Barrow, Alaska
The following is an account of my visit to Liz Imbo Walsh in October 1998, when she was running the WIC program for the North Slope Borough of Alaska. In cleaning out my files I found it and laughed out loud. It should be noted I have not returned to Alaska since this visit, and Liz now lives in Palmer, AK where there ARE trees...
I began my first full day in the Arctic with a walk- the cold air nipped at my cheeks and even my fur lined gloves couldn’t fully block the cold. After my arrival yesterday, I abandoned my “winter” coat and political correctness and adopted my friend’s spare fur-lined parka. The cold in Alaska in October was already beyond my understanding.
The darkness was unsettling too. At nine thirty in the morning there was still only a hint of dawn. Coming here was a mistake… My first ten minutes in Barrow had shown this was not for me:
“Okay folks, when you get to the bottom of the staircase, link arms and head directly to the terminal”
WHAT?!?
Apparently there were winds blowing at over 50 miles per hour and the flight attendants feared we would be blown away.
Had the airport not closed the moment our plane landed, I would have stayed on board and gone straight back to Anchorage. While still not truly civilization, at least it pretended to be part of the world. Barrow was wilderness- barren, cold, dark… tundra and permafrost… Good heavens! What was I thinking? At 320 miles (515 km) above the Arctic Circle, the roads don’t go anywhere and there are no trees. How could I have believed I could live in a place without any trees??
I came to look at a job here. Public Health Nursing. Even got my Alaska Nursing license. I figured I’d done the Peace Corps, I could do anything…
In the Peace Corps, I had a tropical climate. And daylight. And trees.
My friend, Liz, who in all other respects appears to be sane, invited me to consider an employment opportunity here. And the pay was awesome… She even used her miles so I could fly there at no cost.
There is a reason they say money isn’t everything-until this point in my life I was not clear on the true nature of this fact.
Only nine days to go.
We went to the “grocery store” which was like a super-sized Sam’s Club warehouse, only everything was priced way beyond reason. Six dollars for a sad looking cantaloupe? I mean, who can buy things at these prices? And meat- outrageous prices and no selection. Seriously three packets in the whole frozen case...
“Where’s all the meat? Is this it?” I asked.
“Well most people hunt caribou for the meat they need…”
Only eight days to go.
Dinner out at a “Mexican” restaurant, which really resembled every house in Barrow, was pleasant enough, good food, but expensive (a running theme). Then I found out there is no beer.
NO BEER!
Not just in this place- the WHOLE North Slope- no business can serve/sell beer and alcohol. If you want to have alcohol for personal consumption, you have to ship it in by plane from Anchorage…
Only seven days to go.
I go to dinner at the house of Liz’s friends. They have a “honey pot” instead of a flush toilet- a common feature of homes here. Many people here have honey pots, I was told. Think of it as an indoor porta-potty. It is left outside when it needs to be emptied… Oh, good God!!
Only six days to go.
I went to work with the nurses, who wanted to really show me what the job entailed. I wanted to really see if I could do this work. After a phone experience with an very negative individual ( a universal occurrence that happens in all lines of work as far as I am concerned) we discussed travelling to the small native villages on bush planes. I had travelled in a Cessna, I didn’t mind small planes. And then they brought up how you might, occasionally, get stuck out in the field if the weather closed in.
“So how long might that last?”
“Anywhere from a day to a week…”
Only five days to go.
A look at schools… Montessori was crazy expensive (I got my BSN for less money) but seriously, would I send my daughter anywhere else? A look at the available housing… and keep in mind I was paying New York City rent at the time: “YOU WANT HOW MUCH FOR THIS DUMP?!?! It doesn’t even have a toilet?!?!”
Only four days to go.
Did you know that as a non-Native American, you can only kill a polar bear if it is actively in the process of killing you? That people track them out at the dump and as the bears walk through town? Because they come here and walk through town… so people broadcast locations of the bears via CB radio.
MUST GO HOME!
Only three days to go.
Did I mention I have yet to see the Northern Lights and am feeling totally ripped off? Because that hazy green flash in the sky like 20 miles away better not be all there is to see…
Have I mentioned how bloody cold it is here? Even indoors I am cold.
At least I got to see the Arctic Ocean in all it’s frozen glory- it is really something to see. A local artist has cards of scenes from Barrow. They look deceptively appealing, but then they were taken in DAYLIGHT!
Only two days to go.
I began to believe that perhaps Dante was right. The bottom layer of hell is a frozen pit. AND I AM IN IT!
I go home tomorrow!!
I survived and flew back to Anchorage through Fairbanks, proving you can last anywhere for ten days. Needless to say, I did not take the job. And Alaska is now off my places-to-see list. At least the part that doesn’t have trees.
I began my first full day in the Arctic with a walk- the cold air nipped at my cheeks and even my fur lined gloves couldn’t fully block the cold. After my arrival yesterday, I abandoned my “winter” coat and political correctness and adopted my friend’s spare fur-lined parka. The cold in Alaska in October was already beyond my understanding.
The darkness was unsettling too. At nine thirty in the morning there was still only a hint of dawn. Coming here was a mistake… My first ten minutes in Barrow had shown this was not for me:
“Okay folks, when you get to the bottom of the staircase, link arms and head directly to the terminal”
WHAT?!?
Apparently there were winds blowing at over 50 miles per hour and the flight attendants feared we would be blown away.
Had the airport not closed the moment our plane landed, I would have stayed on board and gone straight back to Anchorage. While still not truly civilization, at least it pretended to be part of the world. Barrow was wilderness- barren, cold, dark… tundra and permafrost… Good heavens! What was I thinking? At 320 miles (515 km) above the Arctic Circle, the roads don’t go anywhere and there are no trees. How could I have believed I could live in a place without any trees??
I came to look at a job here. Public Health Nursing. Even got my Alaska Nursing license. I figured I’d done the Peace Corps, I could do anything…
Wrong Again!!!
In the Peace Corps, I had a tropical climate. And daylight. And trees.
My friend, Liz, who in all other respects appears to be sane, invited me to consider an employment opportunity here. And the pay was awesome… She even used her miles so I could fly there at no cost.
There is a reason they say money isn’t everything-until this point in my life I was not clear on the true nature of this fact.
Only nine days to go.
We went to the “grocery store” which was like a super-sized Sam’s Club warehouse, only everything was priced way beyond reason. Six dollars for a sad looking cantaloupe? I mean, who can buy things at these prices? And meat- outrageous prices and no selection. Seriously three packets in the whole frozen case...
“Where’s all the meat? Is this it?” I asked.
“Well most people hunt caribou for the meat they need…”
Only eight days to go.
Dinner out at a “Mexican” restaurant, which really resembled every house in Barrow, was pleasant enough, good food, but expensive (a running theme). Then I found out there is no beer.
NO BEER!
Not just in this place- the WHOLE North Slope- no business can serve/sell beer and alcohol. If you want to have alcohol for personal consumption, you have to ship it in by plane from Anchorage…
Only seven days to go.
I go to dinner at the house of Liz’s friends. They have a “honey pot” instead of a flush toilet- a common feature of homes here. Many people here have honey pots, I was told. Think of it as an indoor porta-potty. It is left outside when it needs to be emptied… Oh, good God!!
Only six days to go.
I went to work with the nurses, who wanted to really show me what the job entailed. I wanted to really see if I could do this work. After a phone experience with an very negative individual ( a universal occurrence that happens in all lines of work as far as I am concerned) we discussed travelling to the small native villages on bush planes. I had travelled in a Cessna, I didn’t mind small planes. And then they brought up how you might, occasionally, get stuck out in the field if the weather closed in.
“So how long might that last?”
“Anywhere from a day to a week…”
Only five days to go.
A look at schools… Montessori was crazy expensive (I got my BSN for less money) but seriously, would I send my daughter anywhere else? A look at the available housing… and keep in mind I was paying New York City rent at the time: “YOU WANT HOW MUCH FOR THIS DUMP?!?! It doesn’t even have a toilet?!?!”
Only four days to go.
Did you know that as a non-Native American, you can only kill a polar bear if it is actively in the process of killing you? That people track them out at the dump and as the bears walk through town? Because they come here and walk through town… so people broadcast locations of the bears via CB radio.
MUST GO HOME!
Only three days to go.
Did I mention I have yet to see the Northern Lights and am feeling totally ripped off? Because that hazy green flash in the sky like 20 miles away better not be all there is to see…
Have I mentioned how bloody cold it is here? Even indoors I am cold.
At least I got to see the Arctic Ocean in all it’s frozen glory- it is really something to see. A local artist has cards of scenes from Barrow. They look deceptively appealing, but then they were taken in DAYLIGHT!
Only two days to go.
I began to believe that perhaps Dante was right. The bottom layer of hell is a frozen pit. AND I AM IN IT!
I go home tomorrow!!
I survived and flew back to Anchorage through Fairbanks, proving you can last anywhere for ten days. Needless to say, I did not take the job. And Alaska is now off my places-to-see list. At least the part that doesn’t have trees.
Tuesday, March 19, 2013
Pope Francis
Today is the Inaugural Mass for Pope Francis, who was elected on my birthday- March 13th, 2013 as our 266th pope.
What is know about this man- the Head of the Catholic Church?
After the Dirty War, things are clearer. "His role after he became bishop of Buenos Aires in asking for forgiveness for the church for not having done enough at the time of the dictatorship "is also well-known," Rev. Federico Lombardi, a Vatican spokesman.
This humble man who has served as a voice for the poor has also established a repoire with the leaders of other religions, and has urged stronger relationships between these communities and ours. He is a strong advocate of protecting children from exploitation. His social consciousness has put him on the opposite side of Argentina's government on a number of occasions. I wonder if the events of the Dirty War empower him now to speak out, rather than be silent...
I have high hopes for Pope Francis and his time in the Vatican. God bless you and keep you..
What is know about this man- the Head of the Catholic Church?
- His name was Jorge Mario Bergoglio, his father and his mother's parents were Italian immigrants to Argentina.
- He was born in Argentina 76 years ago, and so is the first pope from the Western Hemisphere.
- He is a Jesuit and became a Cardinal in 2001.
- He has one lung, after one was removed when he was 21 due to infection.
- He rode the bus and made his own meals in his apartment back in Argentina. The Vatican has got to be giving him culture shock.
- He is the first Pope to use the name Francis- after St. Francis of Assisi.
- He is not okay with Abortion, Gay Marriage, or Birth Control- but did anyone really expect a Pope who was?
- The head of the Orthodox Church will attend the inaugural mass
- There is controversy over his choice as pope....
(Pope Francis, Wikipedia)
After the Dirty War, things are clearer. "His role after he became bishop of Buenos Aires in asking for forgiveness for the church for not having done enough at the time of the dictatorship "is also well-known," Rev. Federico Lombardi, a Vatican spokesman.
This humble man who has served as a voice for the poor has also established a repoire with the leaders of other religions, and has urged stronger relationships between these communities and ours. He is a strong advocate of protecting children from exploitation. His social consciousness has put him on the opposite side of Argentina's government on a number of occasions. I wonder if the events of the Dirty War empower him now to speak out, rather than be silent...
I have high hopes for Pope Francis and his time in the Vatican. God bless you and keep you..
Saturday, March 16, 2013
Bad Movies
My family has a long history of watching BAD movies all the way to the end, in hopes that the story will, in the end, prove worthy of being watched. Sadly, though, we often step away declaring the last hour and a half as time wasted that we are never getting back.
Vanishing Point is a good example. Made in 1971, the movie consists of a man driving through the desert...
Vanishing Point, a movie my father rented more than 23 times, was GOD-AWFUL, but each time he saw the name on the movie list, it sounded cool and came home with him again. His memory was terrible... is terrible. We finally had them put a note on our account sleeve saying he wasn't allowed to rent it any more.
I actually paid money to see Harley Davidson and the Marlboro Man... bad does not begin to describe it. And don't get me started on Unforgiven... Clint- I am STILL unhappy and it was 1992 when I saw it...
So when I recently got the "3 premium movie stations free for 3 months" with my new carrier, I knew there was potential to find some less than exciting movies.
But I have seen some just awful rubbish. And some of these films have great actors I LOVE. So disappointing! Just glad I didn't pay $10 for them. More proof I should not pay for premium movie channels...
Here is just a sample:
Rachel is getting married- I should have followed my instinct and stopped watching after 10 minutes. Anne Hathaway- WHAT WERE YOU THINKING?!?! Hopefully Fantine will redeem you...
Hope Springs- Really Colin? Really? After being Mr. Darcy and the King?
5-Year Engagement- Not funny, went nowhere, 124 minutes of my life that I am NEVER GETTING BACK! Emily Blunt, I am ashamed of you. I loved Young Victoria and this was purely a waste of time.
War Horse- the brutality of war with a horse... Perplexing.
So what movie did you sit and watch when you should have changed the channel?
Vanishing Point is a good example. Made in 1971, the movie consists of a man driving through the desert...
Vanishing Point, a movie my father rented more than 23 times, was GOD-AWFUL, but each time he saw the name on the movie list, it sounded cool and came home with him again. His memory was terrible... is terrible. We finally had them put a note on our account sleeve saying he wasn't allowed to rent it any more.
I actually paid money to see Harley Davidson and the Marlboro Man... bad does not begin to describe it. And don't get me started on Unforgiven... Clint- I am STILL unhappy and it was 1992 when I saw it...
So when I recently got the "3 premium movie stations free for 3 months" with my new carrier, I knew there was potential to find some less than exciting movies.
But I have seen some just awful rubbish. And some of these films have great actors I LOVE. So disappointing! Just glad I didn't pay $10 for them. More proof I should not pay for premium movie channels...
Here is just a sample:
Rachel is getting married- I should have followed my instinct and stopped watching after 10 minutes. Anne Hathaway- WHAT WERE YOU THINKING?!?! Hopefully Fantine will redeem you...
Hope Springs- Really Colin? Really? After being Mr. Darcy and the King?
5-Year Engagement- Not funny, went nowhere, 124 minutes of my life that I am NEVER GETTING BACK! Emily Blunt, I am ashamed of you. I loved Young Victoria and this was purely a waste of time.
War Horse- the brutality of war with a horse... Perplexing.
So what movie did you sit and watch when you should have changed the channel?
Wednesday, March 13, 2013
45 New things
Today I turn 46 years old.
Last year, in honor my 45th Birthday, I set out to have 45 new experiences- not as easy as you would think, as I have led an adventurous life and have already done many of the normal "Bucket List" activities- skydiving anyone? But that was my plan and I set out to make it happen.
So how did I do? Well, there were some hits and DEFINITELY some misses and it has been one heck of an adventure.
So I started with…
Also in the performing arts arena, I also performed with my Dunyavi class at a fundraiser Hafla with live music in front of a live audience and posted my first YouTube Video (of us dancing at the hafla). It is here if you have not seen it: Dunyavi at the Hafla. Later in the year, we preformed again to promote the classes at the Fairfield Community Arts Center, dancing on the Village Green.
New foods played a big part in my new adventures. I ate at The Table, a fancy French restaurant in Cincinnati and had snails and frog legs. The snails were not in the shells and tasted a lot like mushrooms- a pleasant surprise. I didn't enjoy the frogs legs and will skip them next time.
Sushi at Kyoto’s in Montgomery was a surprise hit(I am officially a convert- LOVE IT). And then there was moose meat- freshly canned and shipped to me from Alaska from my friend Elaine. And one of the more interesting new tastes was at the Cincinnatian- tequila sorbet… Something new to do with tequila… Who would have known?
Most recently, I had mussels as an appetizer and truffle juice in mac and cheese- you could get used to such great offerings.
Some new events were small things. I bottle fed lambs. I hosted a Lia Sophia party, and (FINALLY) won a derby hat at the DebRA event in Louisville.
Some were very expensive. My very first (and God willing last) dental implant and it really wasn't too bad, actually. Not that there wasn't discomfort, but I really like having that tooth back.
In March, John and I went to the State house in Columbus- a day of firsts for both of us. We went to support the opposition to SB 310, and were filmed for a British documentary as well as being on the local news. The bill did pass, sadly, but some changes were included... still bad news for too many people.
On April 1st, with hilarious results, I wrote a masterful April Fool's prank. Some of my amazing friends are sure to get even for the panic I set off. I am on the watch for it.
I had my cousin dye my hair red for the very first time. Which went okay the first time...And then I dyed it a second time… OH GOOD GOD… Red can go SO wrong. The doctor I work with, on seeing it, exclaimed, "WHAT did Geri do to her hair?!?" She wasn't wrong... Ridiculous Red...
Ridiculous Red
Clearly the next item on the list was color correction by Jon at OMG in Hyde Park- That man makes magic happen:
So much better
And in keeping with the girlie girl firsts, I got a pedicure (so not my thing- I do not like people messing with my feet) and a Pink and White manicure (Lindsey you are so right- it is the greatest thing ever- I had my own beautiful nails for the first time ever!)
Three of the "New things" are now joining traveling in the Arctic on my list of things I NEVER intend to do again.
1. The Craigslist personal ad... not even going there...
2. Shopping on Black Friday (I stand by the opinion that there just is not enough money to be saved to make it worth the chaos of shopping in the middle of the night.)
3. Glass-blowing:
My very sad looking glass
In the reptile world, I had our first clutch of corn snakes hatch, eight baby corns in all.
Snake eggs: Aren't they cute
I sold Mr. White, my cranky snow, as well as five of the babies. My baby snow died... poor little girl. I also bought and sold my first ball python. We currently have twenty-two snakes at home.
On "Fitness on the Field" Day, I was able to suit up in football gear, run the ball, made a (very sad)attempt at a field goal (which was SO MUCH HARDER than the guys on TV make it look- why they get paid the big bucks, I suppose...), hung out with Who Dey and had a great day. Football should always be this fun.
In travel news, I drove across the Mississippi River for the first time and visited Iowa, Minnesota and Wisconsin. Rode roller coasters at the Mall of America. So much fun. I think the last roller coaster I was on was at New York-New York in Vegas- and I was wearing a wedding dress at the time...
The biggest travel event by far was winning the silent auction Photo Safari- I am going to Africa! I am going swimming in the Indian Ocean, the only ocean I have yet to lay eyes on. A dream come true and the trip of a lifetime... July 2013 cannot get here soon enough!
I broke a bone in my left foot and spent a LONG time in a boot- the first time in my life that I broke a bone, but not really the type of "first" I was going for.
By the end of September, I was able to complete the thirty six hours of Foster Caregiver training required in the state of Ohio. As soon as my home study is completed, I will be a licensed foster parent.
I became the owner of a lovely Coach Bag- a gift from my daughter. LOVE IT! Something I always wanted. There may be some girlie girl in me after all. And Liz wants to borrow it... so far I am not sharing!
Overcoming a long standing fear, I held a tarantula.... her feet are hairy and tickle a bit...
In November, I attending my first support group for divorced folks, Surviving the Holidays, hosted by Beginning Experience. I just wish I had followed all the great advice I received. Next year for sure... I also skipped election day because neither candidate impressed me. First time I have skipped a vote since I was able to.
The Polar Plunge at Joe's Crab Shack on Groundhog's day was very sadly put on hold after I had the worst flu through most of January. And then John hurt his arm so we missed Rock climbing- picture my sad face... Maybe for my "50 at 50".
I am going for African drum lessons after buying my very first drum... I am terrible but hope to improve.
On January 24th 2013, I finished writing and submitted my first journal article for consideration... Big step forward professionally. Then on February 27th, they asked for revisions because they want to PUBLISH MY ARTICLE! On March 11th, I submitted my revisions. Holy Cow, I am going to be in PubMed!
So that was my year... and my list... What have you challenged yourself to do lately?
Friday, March 1, 2013
Sweet Sixteen
Emily is 16 years old today.
I remember walking into the hospital room with Dee and Margie and seeing Elle and Tom and this beautiful little baby and all of us weeping for joy.
It has been a struggle for Emily, autism comes with too many challenges to list. My sister and brother-in-law are just amazing- they work so hard and love so deeply, we could all learn from them and their unconditional love of this beautiful child.
I am awed by all of them.
Happy Sweet Sixteen, Beautiful Girl!
I remember walking into the hospital room with Dee and Margie and seeing Elle and Tom and this beautiful little baby and all of us weeping for joy.
It has been a struggle for Emily, autism comes with too many challenges to list. My sister and brother-in-law are just amazing- they work so hard and love so deeply, we could all learn from them and their unconditional love of this beautiful child.
I am awed by all of them.
Happy Sweet Sixteen, Beautiful Girl!
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)