Thankfulness Journal Day Ten

Today I am thankful for my teachers. Here is a shout out to 5 of them:

1) Pat Munhall- I am a nurse because you made me believe
2) Marion O'Connor- You brought out the writer in me
3) Alan Shapiro- You taught me what Pediatrics is in real life
4) Janet Quinones- You showed me the nurse I want to be- YOU!
5) Father Shelley- You shared the history of the world, and geography to boot.

Thankfulness Journal Day Nine

So today I am thankful for the giants of the written world.

1) Sir Arthur Conan Doyle, for Sherlock Holmes
2) JK Rowlings, for Harry Potter
3) CS Lewis, for Narnia
4) Helen Dore Boylston, for Sue Barton
5) Tom Clancy, for Jack Ryan.

Thanksgiving Day- Thankfulness Journal Day Eight

Happy Thanksgiving to all.

Today I was thinking about the wonderful gifts we have around us every day, thanks to the innovations of the last century.

So I am thankful for:
1) Refrigeration
2) Modern plumbing and water treatment
3) Electricity
4) Antibiotics
5) Vaccines

Each of these items are things we really don't think about. Things we take for granted, expect to have. A century ago, they would have been unheard of... How quickly time changes.

I am off to my aunt's to have a wonderful dinner in the company of family and friends.

Thankfulness Journal days 5, 6 and 7

Okay- 15 things today (daily posts are clearly not my strong suit)

Technology:
1) Computers- a gift from the gods!
2) On-line translation- so much easier to let Bing conjugate my verbs.
3) Google and Wikipedia- my kids don't know how good they have it
4) My low tech cell phone- it never holds it against me when I drop it on hard surfaces
5) The electric kettle- I now realize how much I took it for granted before it died- having now boiled dry every pot in the house making tea...

Home
1) Self propelled lawn mowers
2) Indoor plumbing and running water- until you live without it, you don't realize how wonderful it is
3) Hot water all the time- it is so cold outside
4) My washer and dryer- laundry at home is something you appreciate after renting for a lifetime.
5) Ceiling fans with lights- a new addition this year thanks to Kenny, I don't know how I lasted so long without them

Health
1) Good health insurance
2) Excellent doctors
3) First world dental care
4) Food abundance on my journey to a thinner healthier me
5) The health of my children- a gift that is so underrated...

And the people are Ann and Gail- who have always made me feel like a part of their family, and Connie, a friend for the long haul...

Thankfulness Journal Days 3 and 4

Opps, missed day three- I will need to do 10 items today to make up...

1) My very comfy bed and warm comforter on cold nights
2) Hot tea on a cold morning
3) More than enough clothing for my family (the positive spin on way too much clothing)
4) Cosy slippers to keep my feet warm
5) An abundance of books to read and take me to places I haven't seen yet

6) The ability to borrow tools to do work in my house
7) My Honda- cause it is all good
8) My Ipod that lets me revisit the music of my life
9) Scented candles that make my house smell like home
10) Pictures of all my family all around.

And My thankful people are Andy and Sara, my cousins who are just always so kind and loving to me...  

Thankfulness Journal- Day Two

Day two-

I am thankful for:

1) My work and the wonderful people I have met in the EB Community
2) My experiences traveling and seeing the world
3) The Peace Corps and the amazing people I got to know as a volunteer- I can't wait to do it all again
4) The farm my mom grew up on- it is still home in so many ways
5) The small town I lived in when I was in Guatemala- Saltan is always in my heart.

My sister Ellen is the most amazing woman I know- her life is full of challenges and she is the best mom, wife and sister I know.

So who are you thankful for?

Thankfulness Journal

A Reminder to be Thankful was posted today by Lysa. She discusses how her son, living in an orphanage, was able to find peace in faith, even when he was hungry and digging in garbage for food.

Wow!

She challenges us to look inword and be thankful so I am going to follow her lead and do a Thankfulness Journal for the next 30 days. The rules are simple:

Reflect and Respond:


Start a thankfulness journal where you daily list five things for which you are thankful. Do this for the next 30 days and see how much more peaceful your mindset about life becomes.

Think of someone who is really thankful. Despite the circumstances they face, are they more peaceful? How does this inspire you?


I am thankful for:

1) My children
2) My siblings
3) The rest of my large far throw family
4) All the amazing friends who bless my life every day
5) My little ranch house that is my home

As for a thankful person, I think my friend Eileen is the person who comes to mind. She has faced the biggest challenges a parent can, and her faith steadies her. One day I hope to grow up to be like her.

What are you thankful for today?



11-19-1863

Four score and seven years ago our fathers brought forth on this continent, a new nation, conceived in Liberty, and dedicated to the proposition that all men are created equal.




Now we are engaged in a great civil war, testing whether that nation, or any nation so conceived and so dedicated, can long endure. We are met on a great battle-field of that war. We have come to dedicate a portion of that field, as a final resting place for those who here gave their lives that that nation might live. It is altogether fitting and proper that we should do this.



But, in a larger sense, we can not dedicate -- we can not consecrate -- we can not hallow -- this ground. The brave men, living and dead, who struggled here, have consecrated it, far above our poor power to add or detract. The world will little note, nor long remember what we say here, but it can never forget what they did here. It is for us the living, rather, to be dedicated here to the unfinished work which they who fought here have thus far so nobly advanced. It is rather for us to be here dedicated to the great task remaining before us -- that from these honored dead we take increased devotion to that cause for which they gave the last full measure of devotion -- that we here highly resolve that these dead shall not have died in vain -- that this nation, under God, shall have a new birth of freedom -- and that government of the people, by the people, for the people, shall not perish from the earth.



Abraham Lincoln

November 19, 1863

Foster Caregiving- the Home Study

The home study process was an interesting one.

The application was pages long and asked not only about who we are but also who we wanted or didn't want.

I had to get rid of my corn snakes, even though I mentioned owning them during my training classes and nobody said they were not permitted. I was told they would license me, but would never consider placing a child with me as long as I owned the snakes.

So I sold the collection, except for three Kenny will keep for me.

Then I started collecting all the paperwork.

And discovered the court never did send my final divorce paperwork. So off to the courthouse I went, to get a copy.


References from friends and family were next…

Physicals for me and the kids… thankfully we do them anyway.

Vet checks for all my animals…

The collection of baby items and the purchase of a crib… Because they won't place a baby or toddler if you don't already have them.

I read some amazing books on fostering children who had suffered. I talked to friends who were foster parents.

I searched out taxes from 2007-present… Where 2009 is remains a mystery...

There were a series of home visits of over an hour on several occasions… Interviews with both of my children...

Over 14 months of effort…

So I finally got an appointment for my fire inspection- one of the last things left. The final visit would be done after the inspection was complete. I e-mailed the date, excited to be nearing the finish line...

And then I received the following:

“I need to discuss some concerns presented to the agency. I am asking for a time when you will be able to talk and have privacy. If that is impossible (given your work demands, etc) I can email the concerns to you. Let me know and I'll follow up with you accordingly.”

So I called. And found out there were two confidential sources that led to significant concerns and I am considered unsuitable to be a foster parent.

I had two options:

I could appeal a denied home study, but that would only mean more time an effort with very little hope of being approved. I might however have a clearer understanding of what the issues were...

I could withdraw my application. Let go.

I hung up the phone before my sobs were audible...

The follow-up e-mail from the agency was brief:

“I need to know if you want me to follow through with denying your home study or if you would like to withdraw from the process. If you could, please respond by the end of the week. I apologize for any disappointment and frustration the agency has caused you. “

I withdrew my application. I now have to accept that my family will not include more children. Not even temporary ones. And I will never know why.

Honestly, my heart is shattered and bleeding- and I have a house full of baby stuff that needs a real home.
And I need to tell people I was found unsuitable...

All I want to do is crawl up in a ball under the blankets and cry myself to sleep...