New Year's Resolutions for 2018

To talk about resolutions, I need to consider where I am right now as well as looking back at 2017.

In October 2016, I made the decision to get a “Dave” job to help me get out of debt. Dave Ramsey has some principles about debt elimination and cash flowing life and I wanted to get to that point. I signed up for Care.com and started babysitting for two families. 

In November 2016, I made the last payment on my car and started the process to work per diem for Maxim as an RN- the pay isn’t great but the hands on complex care gives me the opportunity to keep those skills current. And the extra money doesn’t hurt. 

In December of 2016, I remortgaged my house to a 15 year loan that I pay in biweekly payments and finished payments on braces for my child. But I had to put in a new HVAC system that added to my debt. 

In 2017, I moved up my retirement contributions- … I am at 15% on my 403(b) withholding.  But I had significant medical costs related to a medical complication that I needed to address urgently. Most of those bills have been paid now, but I still carry a small balance and have new charges coming soon. 

I paid cash for a bathroom repair, but still need to save the money for a new hot water heater.

October 2017 saw the end of my credit card debt- a journey that started in September of 2014. Which was AMAZING!!! I also cash flowed not one but two trips to NYC and a trip to Orlando in a five week time span. Sometimes you just have to go and reconnect with people. It was totally worth it. 

I also cash flowed Christmas and kept it on the simple side, but I wrote Christmas cards to everyone- a tradition I had stopped a few years back. It was time to jump back in. 

All in all, a solid year of mostly responsible behavior. 

And 2018? Well- many things I want to do I have tried before and some are change-ups from years past...

Cooking at home and packing my lunch to save money and eat better.

Minimizing buying this year- Spend less and save more… I want to really try and make do with the stuff that fills my house instead of looking for newer and better. 

Downsize my belongings: On February 14th, Ash Wednesday, 40 bags begins again at my house. I will reduce the amount of stuff around me that really doesn’t contribute to my life…

Do a better job of being a positive person: As “Dear Abby” says, “What is the kindest, most loving thing I can say or do at this particular moment?" 

Take a sewing class with my aunt and my child: I want to learn how to hem pants- learn to use a sewing machine and who knows, copy my favorite dress.

Grow a vegetable garden. But not a small one. One that will really produce food for my table.

 

Support charity more: I am going to do 4 volunteer weekends with RAM and I am going to try and get as many of my nurse friends to join me as possible. I keep complaining about what isn't done for our poor and vulnerable in this country. Time to put my money where my mouth is!

Spend more quality time with my children… possibly family game night…  We had good fun playing Quelf the other night.

I want to learn how to be content with where my life is at the moment- be in the moment instead of wistfully wishing for a better past/future life.

What will you try to accomplish this year? I wish you luck with it.

Happy New Year!

It's a Wonderful Life

On Sunday night, December 11, 1977,  It Happened One Christmas was the ABC movie and I watched it and was captivated by the story. Marlo Thomas played Mary Bailey Hatch, a woman who always dreamed of traveling the world but ended up running her family’s small town business, The Bailey Building and Loan and marrying a local mechanic. When Mary’s husband George, played by Wayne Rogers, goes off to war with his brother Harry and the Hatchs' friends, Bert and Ernie, they all write letters to Mary telling her their war stories.

One Christmas Eve, when Mary is on the brink of financial ruin, she considers suicide, but is rescued by her guardian angel, Clara Oddbody, played by Cloris Leachmen. Clara, who has not yet earned her wings, shows Mary what life would be like without her. Mary gets to see all the good she has done in the world and begs to be able to live again.

I remember telling my mom the story, every detail with delight. Mom then told me it was a remake of another Christmas film she loved, It’s a Wonderful Life, and told me we would watch it together when it next aired- this was back when there were only a handful of channels and such films aired once a year.

 

Mom introduced me to Bedford Falls, Mr. Potter, the pool under the gym floor and all the wonder of the Jimmy Stewart’s George Bailey and his amazing life of sacrifice for the greater good and I fell in love with the beautiful story. From that Christmas to this, it has been a staple of the season, alongside Frosty, Rudolph and Santa Claus is Coming to Town.

Logan Avenue

My mother had arrived with Margaret, her soon to be mother in law, at Uncle Brian's home in the Bronx, where she had lived since coming to America. She was there to pick up her two younger sisters that were visiting America. The plan was for all of them to go to the World's Fair in Flushing Meadows for the day.

Her sister told me that she came into the house annoyed that the young girls were not ready on time and everyone yelled,  "Surprise".

It is funny when you look at old photos- I remember the coffee pot, and the wallpaper on the staircase. I think Mom looks very like each of my sisters, in the pictures. How young she was- just a little older than my daughter is now. Such a pretty blue dress...

Mom would be 79 today. She is still missed.

The Inn at Milleridge

Fifteen years ago today, I had my last outing with my mother at the Inn at Milleridge. It was her friend Mary's 90th Birthday party and my mom really wanted to go and asked if I would take her.  It was a Sunday and I had nothing planned so I told her I was happy to- even if it meant driving out to the end of Long Island.

We arrives at the snow covered Inn at mid-day and spend several hours seated with relatives of Mary- the man was a firefighter and we talked about the Firefighter physical test when I proctored the drug testing. His wife was amazed he was so chatty. We talked about my husband's pizza being the best in the world (my opinion, cause it is) and about my son's first Christmas coming up soon. We had a lovely meal and the singing was wonderful.

The Carolers were dressed as if from "A Christmas Carol" and they sang all afternoon.

It was just the perfect celebration of Mary and her life. Mom and Mary sat together for a photo. One of the last, if not the last, that was taken of my mother. This was back before every cellphone had a camera, before Facebook, so they promised they would send us a copy.

It never occurred to me to have them take a picture of me with mom.

In the business of children, work at the new job and getting ready for Christmas, I didn't see mom for her Birthday, and I have no clear memory of speaking to her that day, or any other conversations, because we talked all the time. None of them stand out in my mind.

Mom died Christmas day that year, and Mary gave me the photo at her wake. There is a little too much sunlight behind them but it was a beautiful picture. All my mom's siblings remarked on how well she looked. I promised to make and send copies to all of them.

I will always be so grateful for that last wonderful afternoon, those memories, and my photo. Not sure how I would feel if I had said "No" when mom asked.