Book Reviews 2020: The Alice Network

The Alice Network was the best book I have read in a really long time. World War I and World War II, female spies and their roles. I loved every minute of it. It is a well woven story and is was full of unexpected turns. Enjoy it! I certainly did.

Book Reviews 2020: 7 days of Christmas: A Season of Generosity by Jen Hatmaker

In her 2017 book “7: An Experimental Mutiny Against Excess”, Jen Hatmaker focused on the seven areas that have gotten crazy excessive in most  American lives: Food; Clothes; Spending; Media; Possessions; Waste; and Stress- the “modern-day diseases of greed, materialism, and overindulgence. She and her family did a month long journey on each category and I was impressed.

I really wanted to try to do it myself but I could not get past the 7 foods for 30 whole days. Even picking February, it was 7 foods for 28 days. And my questions were many: Does tea with milk count as one food or two… do all potato products count as one item… coffee vs tea… Which cereal… No room for cereal?!? Could sandwich meat be all sandwich meat? Did I have to pick only one cheese?

I might have overthought the whole thing. I promised myself that one of these days I would try again. Still waiting...

Then came Jen’s new book and the focus is restoring the Season of Christmas. Published just before Christmas 2019, I devoured it. It was LOVE! Do yourself and your family a favor this Christmas season and check it out. 

You will be happier and saner and it will remind you all what Christmas is all about.

Women's right to vote

Ratified on August 18, 1920, the 19th amendment guarantees all American women the right to vote. 100 years have passed since and we are facing the election of an age. Years ago, I watched the movie, Iron Jawed Angels, which told the story of the brave American women who worked to get women the vote.  As I watched the Democratic Convention- which is being done as basically a giant Zoom meeting, I was surprised by the number of Republicans, including Christine Todd Whitman and John Kasich, both former Governors. It is a relief to see them turn their backs on the destruction of the current administration and support a more positive path for America. Hopefully November will bring the USA the change that is needed.

Goodbye

Today my family said goodbye to my former husband and father of my son. My cousins, my sisters, my aunt and uncle, as well as dozens of George's friends and relatives joined my children, his mother and sister and me in saying goodbye. The priest was kind, the music was beautiful and the church is like a museum with all of its beautiful artwork. 

At the end of the funeral mass this morning, I struggled through reading the following:

We are gathered today to celebrate the life of a good and kind man, the best of us, George Mancuso. To all of us, his friends and family alike, his death at only forty-nine is an unimaginable loss.

A long time fixture in Throggs Neck, George started working alongside his uncle Gaetano when he was seventeen years old. As his friends can tell you, he was a whiz of an oven man at Tommy’s Pizza.

The loving son of Rosario and Carmela Mancuso, George was also the “big brother” to Rosalba. As George joins his father, Rosario, in heaven, I ache for Carmela and Rosalba for their tremendous loss on this day and in the days to come.

George was enchanted by Motion Pictures, as anyone who has taken part in his Oscars pool can attest, and also all things Disney. But most of all, George was enchanted with his children, John and Liz. He spent as much time with them as possible, coming for Christmas each year, always with cannolis in hand. The trips they all took to Disney were the stuff of legend. It was because of him that Liz found her way to “Up with People and that grand adventure.

In short, he spoiled them rotten and loved them fiercely. As a result, they are the best of him, a testament to his kindness and love.

Rest in Peace, George. We will miss you.

Next we went to the cemetery for a final blessing and goodbye. I am exhausted and heartsick and so sad. And old. So very old.

George Mancuso

 I wrote my ex-husband's obituary bio last night:

George Mancuso, of Tommy’s Pizza in Throgs Neck, a long-time resident of Little Italy in the Bronx, died on Thursday August 6, 2020 of complications from diabetes at the age of forty-nine.

George is survived by his mother, Carmela Mancuso (nee LoBue), his sister, Rosalba Mancuso, his son, John and step-daughter Elizabeth Kelly. He was preceded in death by his father, Rosario.

George began work alongside his uncle Gaetano at seventeen and served as an oven man. He enjoyed motion pictures and travel, his favorite destination was Disneyworld.

The services for George  will be held on Tuesday, August 11, 2020:

Visitation: 8:30am- 10am at Balsamo Funeral Home

3188 Westchester Ave, Bronx, NY 10461

Funeral Mass: 11am at Our Lady of Mount Carmel Church

627 E 187th St, Bronx, NY 10458

In lieu of flowers please consider a donation to St. Jude’s Children’s Hospital.

It is hard to believe my son's father died. They were best friends and my son loved his father so much. This is the hardest thing I have ever done as a parent- helping my children grieve this huge loss, while I myself grieve. Rest in peace, George.

Prayers of the Faithful

On this day, in 2018, my uncle died. Several days later we gathered to say goodbye and representatives of his tribe: nieces or nephews, one from each of his siblings families, took turns, praying the following:

The Priest: Christ is the Good Shepherd who gives His life to save those He loves. In our loss, let us turn to Him and with confidence make our needs known to Him.

Colleen: We pray for the gift of Eternal Life: That Sean will be received into the Lord's loving embrace.    Lord, hear us.

Me: We pray for Sean, that Christ may have mercy in his soul and grant him the fullness of risen life where all burdens will be lifted and peace enjoyed.    Lord, hear us.

Peter (His Godson): As we gather in sadness at the death of Sean, we carry with us many good memories of his years of love and care as husband, father, brother, uncle, brother in law, neighbour and friend, his open and welcoming personality, his work and love if the land, animals and farming, his ease with and love of all people and especially children, his ever presence and willingness to help in every moment of need, a man who was a good neighbour. We remember the burdens of sadness and grief that he carried as we pray that death may be for him but a step into the friendship and presence of God.    Lord hear us.

Laura: We pray for Sean's family, that in these difficult and dark days they may be sustained by their faith, and by the knowledge that they will be reunited with Sean one day in God's heavenly kingdom.  Lord hear us.

Lisa: The gift of life, which we all share, is very precious. Lord, make us more aware of the gifts and talents you have given us, particularly those that we so often take for granted. May we use them to make the world a better place.   Lord, hear us.

Paul: We pray for all who are sick, lonely or who find their journey in life difficult or who travel the lonely road of bereavement. May they experience the closeness of Christ who will give them and their loved ones strength, comfort and healing.    Lord, hear us.

Caroline: We pray that all who have departed from this life believing in God, especially Alison, may find light, happiness and peace in his kingdom. Lord, hear us.

Catherine: For all of us gathered here: that we may remember at all times, but especially at times of trouble and anxiety, that we are loved by God and that he will take care of us.   Lord, hear us.

I still miss my sweet uncle so much.

Jackson State shooting, 50 years ago

In looking at reports about the 50th anniversary of the Kent State shooting, I read this on MSNBC

"Days after the Kent State shooting, on May 15, there was a shooting at historically black Jackson State College in Mississippi during a protest against racism that students on campus were facing. Two students were shot and killed and 12 others were injured at the hands of the police."

I had never heard of this shooting before. I had of course heard about  the four students killed at Kent State. 

Wikipedia lists the Kent State victims:

Killed (and approximate distance from the National Guard):

• Jeffrey Glenn Miller; age 20; 265 ft (81 m) shot through the mouth; killed instantly
• Allison B. Krause; age 19; 343 ft (105 m) fatal left chest wound; died later that day
• William Knox Schroeder; age 19; 382 ft (116 m) fatal chest wound; died almost an hour later in a local hospital while undergoing surgery
• Sandra Lee Scheuer; age 20; 390 ft (120 m) fatal neck wound; died a few minutes later from loss of blood

Wounded (and approximate distance from the National Guard):

• Joseph Lewis, Jr.; 71 ft (22 m); hit twice in the right abdomen and left lower leg
• John R. Cleary; 110 ft (34 m); upper left chest wound
• Thomas Mark Grace; 225 ft (69 m); struck in left ankle
• Alan Michael Canfora; 225 ft (69 m); hit in his right wrist
• Dean R. Kahler; 300 ft (91 m); back wound fracturing the vertebrae, permanently paralyzed from the chest down
• Douglas Alan Wrentmore; 329 ft (100 m); hit in his right knee
• James Dennis Russell; 375 ft (114 m); hit in his right thigh from a bullet and in the right forehead by birdshot, both wounds minor
• Robert Follis Stamps; 495 ft (151 m); hit in his right buttock
• Donald Scott MacKenzie; 750 ft (230 m); neck wound

MSNBC noted: "David Crosby, Stephen Stills, Graham Nash and Neil Young released their protest song "Ohio" a month later, with the chorus "four dead in Ohio," after seeing the photos of the shooting. With lyrics that directly called out Nixon, the song was heard by the nation loud and clear."

Wikipedia does have a brief page about the Jackson State killings and lists the two people who died, but not the wounded. It reports the shooting started, according to reports, due to the 40 State Highway Patrolmen being fired on by a sniper, though no evidence of a sniper was found. While deemed an "unreasonable, unjustified overreaction", no charges were filed.

NPR wrote in 2010 that the event was largely forgotten. The students at Jackson were killed by police. Nobody wrote a song about them.

I did manage to find out more about what happened here:

"When the order to cease fire was given and the gunfire ceased, Phillip Lafayette Gibbs, 21, a junior pre-law major and father of an 18-month-old son, lay dead 50 feet east of the west wing door of Alexander Hall. Two Double-0 buckshot pellets had punched into his head while a third pellet entered just beneath his left eye and a fourth just under his left armpit.

Across the street, behind the line of police and highway patrolmen, James Earl Green, 17, was sprawled dead in front of B. F. Roberts Dining Hall. Green, a senior at Jim Hill High School in Jackson, was walking home from work at a local grocery store when he stopped to watch the action. He was standing in front of B. F. Roberts Hall when a single buckshot blast slammed into the right side of his chest. The police later claimed that they had taken fire from the direction of B. F. Roberts Hall.

Twelve other Jackson State students were struck by gunfire, including at least one who was sitting in the dormitory lobby at the time of the shooting. Several students required treatment for hysteria and injuries from shattered glass. 

Injured and carried to University Hospital for treatment were Fonzie Coleman, Redd Wilson Jr. , Leroy Kenter, Vernon Steve Weakley, Gloria Mayhorn, Patricia Ann Sanders , Willie Woodard, Andrea Reese, Stella Spinks, Climmie Johnson, Tuwaine Davis and Lonzie Thompson... the ambulances were not called until after the officers picked up their shell casings, a U. S. Senate probe conducted by Senators Walter Mondale and Birch Bayh later revealed.

I can't believe I never learned about this before.

COVID-19 ending the Peace Corps dream

Peace Corps volunteers were serving in over 60 countries around the world as teachers, health care extentionists, and in the areas of small business development, agriculture, animal husbandry, environmental conservation. For many of them, it was a life dream fulfilled.

Then it came to an abrupt halt. COVID-19 ended the dream.

The Peace Corps Director on March 15 announced the withdrawal of more than 7,300 Peace Corps volunteers, trainees and staff- a complete evacuation of the Peace Corps worldwide.

All the volunteers were told to back a couple of bags and leave their sites ASAP- on the next bus out.

They left behind friends and lovers, beloved pets, unfinished projects and anything that didn't fit in those two bags.

There were no farewell celebrations. They just vanished from towns and villages around the world.

The director said in her announcement letter that these evacuations represent the temporary suspension of Volunteer activities. 

But for this group of volunteers this isn't an interruption of service. It is the end of their Peace Corps Journey. They were all COSed (COS means Close of Service) which in Peace Corps terms means their time was finished- their service closed- none of them were going to restart where they left off... 

They were told they need to self quarantine for 14 days on arriving back in the States where there were not people at high risk- which for many meant they couldn't go home to family.

Our RPCV family came together quickly to provide support for everyone coming back. It is amazing what a small band of motivated people can do in a crisis. The Facebook group, Returned Peace Corps COVID-19 Evacuation Support started by Josh Johnson took off in a few hours with all of us from everywhere offering what we could to those displaced so abruptly. It makes me once again proud to be a part of the Peace Corps Community.

Even in the darkest days, there is light and hope. Or as Mr. Rogers always said- Look for the helpers.

Love to all of you, my Peace Corps family. I am so proud of all of you!

Random Acts of Kindness

Several years ago, my child was working with vulnerable youth in a residential facility. One of the teenagers returned to the house after weeks of in-patient psychiatric care and when she returned, she had a huge area of matted hair at the base of her neck. Her hair was waist length and brushing out this huge knot was going to be a project. The house didn’t have a good comb or any of the other things needed and there was a sense of urgency as this young girl had to return to school the next morning.

I was called and went to CVS and purchased anything I thought would help- several types of combs and brushes and hair ties. When I arrived, I got straight to work and little by little worked this matted area loose. It took several hours of steady work, but in the end, the girl had a lovely tangle free braid and a new array of hair stuff to keep it well managed.

Two things kept running through my mind. The first was about the focus on self-care in the world of mental illness. Whatever happened to this girl that caused her to be admitted clearly left her unable to tend to her hair without assistance. And nobody working at the hospital had over two undivided hours to dedicate to getting her hair free of tangles.

 The second thing that kept running through my mind was that she was expected to go to school, regardless of how her hair appeared. All I could think of as I drove home was if we had not helped her, this mentally fragile child would have had to go to school with her hair a mess- opening her up to the ridicule that too easily flows in High School. At least she was protected from that.

My daughter recently reminded me of this story- it clearly made an impression on her. I honestly had not thought of that young girl since the night I helped her comb out her hair. I hope she is happy and safe in the world.

Adult Children

My recently turned 18 y/o attended his annual physical today, and for the first time I was not required to be there and consent.

Because now, at 18 years of age, he is an adult.

Mind-blowing!

At the end of May he will graduate, he will then take an EMT course and get certified and go off on his own.

It was only moments ago I was taking my baby to daycare.  Helping him learn to fish. Taking him to Cub Scouts.

Now he drives himself to school, has registered to vote and for selective service. My son, my youngest child, is a man.

Amazing!

Book Reviews 2020: A Tale of Two Cities

It is one of the most famous openings in literature: “It was the best of times, it was the worst of times, it was the age of wisdom, it was the age of foolishness, it was the epoch of belief, it was the epoch of incredulity, it was the season of Light, it was the season of Darkness, it was the spring of hope, it was the winter of despair, we had everything before us, we had nothing before us, we were all going direct to Heaven, we were all going direct the other way—in short, the period was so far like the present period, that some of its noisiest authorities insisted on its being received, for good or for evil, in the superlative degree of comparison only.”

And I had never read the story. I had seen the movies decades ago but the book wasn't ever required for any class.  I finally got all the way through Charles Dickens' A Tale of Two Cities by means of Hoopla's audiobooks. This was an amazing journey through the world of 1780s Paris and London.  What a challenging time to live through. The violence inflicted on the poor- the cruel and unusual punishments for crime- the social issues of the day that Charles Dickens was well aware of. Dr. Manette,  Jarvis Lorry, Sydney, Charles Darney and Lucie  live in this world. 

Darney left his aristocratic life behind and made a new life in London. Dr. Manette, locked up in the Bastille for 18 years by Darney's father and uncle for trying to do the right thing. And in the end, Darney is sentenced  to death for their crimes.

Sydney arranged to  switch places with Darney and get him and his family out of France. And his unspoken thoughts waiting for the end is one of the most famous soliloquies in literature:

“I see a beautiful city and a brilliant people rising from this abyss, and, in their struggles to be truly free, in their triumphs and defeats, through long years to come, I see the evil of this time and of the previous time of which this is the natural birth, gradually making expiation for itself and wearing out.

I see the lives for which I lay down my life, peaceful, useful, prosperous and happy, in that England which I shall see no more. I see Her with a child upon her bosom, who bears my name. I see her father, aged and bent, but otherwise restored, and faithful to all men in his healing office, and at peace. I see the good old man [Lorry], so long their friend, in ten years' time enriching them with all he has, and passing tranquilly to his reward.

I see that I hold a sanctuary in their hearts, and in the hearts of their descendants, generations hence. I see her, an old woman, weeping for me on the anniversary of this day. I see her and her husband, their course done, lying side by side in their last earthly bed, and I know that each was not more honored and held sacred in the other's soul than I was in the souls of both.

I see that child who lay upon her bosom and who bore my name, a man winning his way up in that path of life which once was mine. I see him winning it so well, that my name is made illustrious there by the light of his. I see the blots I threw upon it, faded away. I see him, fore-most of just judges and honoured men, bringing a boy of my name, with a forehead that I know and golden hair, to this place—then fair to look upon, with not a trace of this day's disfigurement—and I hear him tell the child my story, with a tender and a faltering voice.

It is a far, far better thing that I do than I have ever done; it is a far, far better rest that I go to than I have ever known.” 

I wept as he met his end.

COVID-19 update

 The U.S. set a new record today for the most COVID-19 deaths in one day, because at least 4,051 people died of the coronavirus, reports CNN. At least. Which means the number is possibly higher. To put that in perspective, nearly 3,000 died in the 9-11 attacks.

According to Johns Hopkins over 365,000 Americans have died, and nearly 2 million worldwide. To put that in perspective, total U.S. military deaths in battle and from other causes in World War II were 407,316.  So in 10 days time on this current path, we could surpass that 4 year death toll.  Keep in mind the first deaths in the U.S are believed to have occurred in February of 2020. 

And here in America, all the news is about the final days of the Trump administration. 

As a health care worker, I am near the front of the line and should receive my first dose of  the Moderna vaccine next week- it is being offered by my employer and I am grateful. But I will remain vigilant in my lock-down because that is the best way to protect people. Yesterday, Ohio posted 94 deaths.  The 21 day average is 75. I think that is a lot of people in a state of almost 12 million. 

So I don't hang out with my friend who got a new puppy and I don't run to Kroger to grab milk and bread, and I watch movies with my son in the basement rather than the movie theater. I wash my hands and wear a mask and hope and pray we all stay safe and healthy.

Because that is all I can do.

Book Reviews 2020: When Less Becomes More, Boundaries; Total Money Makeover

I listened to all three books I will review on Hoopla last month. I really love Hoopla- though six audiobooks a month still seems a little stingy for me.

When Less Becomes More: Making Space for Slow, Simple, and Good by Emily Ley focuses on reducing the overscheduled life to reduce the burnout we all suffer from.  I loved this book- the simplicity and solid examples were just what I needed to hear- I may borrow it again, but I want to check out Emily’s other books first- she is a new favorite!

Boundaries Updated and Expanded Edition: When to Say Yes, How to Say No To Take Control of Your Life by Henry Cloud and John Townsend I listened to  as it is recommended by the Dave Ramsey folks as a good way to set limits on people in your life who are draining you- I was focused on the financial draining piece, but recognize I have many additional areas in my life where my boundaries need some work and attention.

That said, this book is based in a Christian setting, with MANY bible references and that can be overwhelming. I did not read the references while listening to the book (I was driving for most of it) so I may have missed bits along the way. I am also pretty sure this is not a book I will read again. Once was enough.

The third book on my list is one I have read before and will read again. I have been a Dave Ramsey girl since 2014 and am striving to live a debt free life. That said, I have areas where review is a good thing.

The Total Money Makeover: Classic Edition: A Proven Plan for Financial Fitness by Dave Ramsey is a step by step plan to get yourself free of debt. Our US society tells us debt is normal, car payments are normal- Dave tells us it is time to be weird. It is a simple plan that is not easy but is well worth it. I have not yet reached “Debt Free” but I am focused and making strides! Love me some Dave!