School again?

This morning, I went to an informational session about going to graduate school and getting my Masters of Science in Nursing Education.

It takes 2 years, going year round. It will cost over $20,000, though the hospital would reimbuse some of that money. And in the end, I would be able to teach the next generation of nurses.

I would be a certified nurse educator.

I would have more letters after my name.

Why hesitate?

I hesitate because I doubt...

What if I don't finish? What if I fail?

See, this is where the doubt creeps in. I have made 3 attempts at grad school already, and each time my road was blocked. Child care, husband care, money... Would this time be different?

I hesitate because I am scared out of my mind. All the "What ifs?" circle in my head... What if I am not smart enough... what if I cannot learn the material... what if I fail...

In the quiet place inside me, I want to take the risk. The two years will pass whether or not I am in school...

I am undecided.