Dating in the internet age

Enough already. I am done. No more dating for me! I have had it up to here (Picture me with my hand near my eyes, please…)

I have decided to stop dating. Because dating is terrible. Always has been, always will be…

Match.com and OKCupid no longer have my profile. I don’t care who my top five matches are. Or who is what percentage of a match, friend or enemy.

No more winks for me.

I am done.

And it is not just because I attracted a WHOLE LOT of crazy-

…the dude in TX looking for someone within 50 miles of his town writing to me… I assured him Ohio- all of it- is more than 50 miles away…

…the one in the Middle East working, who wrote and wrote and then disappeared…

…the “soldier” who wanted to marry me when he got back in August… He disappeared too, but I wonder if he was even vaguely who he represented himself as. ..

Weird winks from far and near…

You have to expect a bit of that…

But when you throw in the ones I actually did the “first date” thing with, it is easier to understand why I am no longer interested…

For my first Match outing, I met up with the Toad- worst date ever. And that is saying something! He HATED his ex-wife venomously and his son refused to have contact with him. Newly divorced, you say? No- the divorce was in 1995…

And we had not even been seated for dinner yet…

Really?

The next Match Man was Ken… newly separated, we had a wonderful first date… I had a great time… He had a great time…

We were sending texts like a pair of teenagers…

But he really loved his wife… so I told him to go to counseling and make it work, because 20 years is a lot to throw away… cause the right thing is the right thing…

Within a week of our date, he went back to his wife… My sister said the wife should have sent me flowers…

On April Fool’s day, I met Monkeyboy, or Match date number 3 for lunch. I really should have known better than to waste my day off driving 70 miles to meet this fool. The fact that he lied about his height aside, (cause you know I would not be taller than you if you really were 5’6’’- really did you think I would not notice?!?) I really think he was high.

He watched TV over my shoulder during lunch and was unable to hold up his end of the conversation. And really, this is me- I can talk forever- ask anyone… His big interest was “the girls”…really? Did you really think you were going to get up close and personal without a personality? Dumb as Rocks. And he really reminded me of a monkey.

I really hate dating

After my fourth “first date” with Joe, who had seemed so promising on paper, I actually cried. Because there was absolutely NOTHING there. So much in common and it was like being out with my brother…

Then came a “maybe” match on OKCupid… good guy, on the busy side, seemed like a genuinely nice fellow. We scheduled a first meeting, then disaster struck and I had to cancel.

Sometimes God raises his voice…

Why, you ask, do I say this?

Because the night before our first date, this man slept with his old fiancée. He was going to tell me when I met him for dinner.

Really? Seriously? I would have beat the daylights out of him if I drove all that way for him to tell me, “Sorry, not really interested.”

What the heck is wrong with these guys?

So I am not dating. I am done.