John Thomas Moore, Part Three

Going back to Analore on Sunday, the crowd was far larger. All the McMahon cousins save John were there, and Peter and his wife Sheila told me I was welcome to stay at their home Wednesday night so I was well set to make my Thursday morning flight.

There was a parade of all the boys I knew from all my prior visits- so many people- From Kevin, who's wedding I went to years earlier, to Colin, Declan... I told Kevin how dreamy his brother Kenny was way back when, and he laughed. "Sure I am not tellin him that..."

I sat with Sean for periods, and left to make room, washing dishes- so many cups and plates. Colleen had been banned from washing after breaking two cups in rapid order. The Moore girls (women really), Eamonn's daughters, worked non-stop serving. Everyone seemed to be moving all the time.

I wondered what would happen when all the moving stopped.

We went back to Rita's and I had my part of the reading for the Mass the next day. A child of each of Sean's siblings would read. I went over the words again and again. I had to get through it without sobbing.

The next morning w sat and prayed in that beautiful front room and I was numb in my grief. The Rosary was said, one decade per sibling, until Catherine took over for Rita. How many times in the prior days had she asked, "How will we get along without Sean."

Then we stood behind the coffin till it was carried to the bottom of his field on the shoulders of all the men who loved him, his brothers, his nephews and his friends.

When we arrived at the church it was overflowing with people. We made our way in and the service began. The woman who sang had the voice of an angel, and speaking from the altar each of us in turn, was so much harder than I thought it would be.

When each of us finished we stood to the side and as I stepped over, my tears flowed unchecked. I can't believe he is gone.

We went to his grave, where he will be next to Alison, and then we went to Newbliss and were served a lunch. Afterwards we went across to the pub and then back into Clones to Adamsons for a late night. As good as it was to see everyone, I wish it had been for any other reason.

Tuesday was a mass exodus as everyone started to head back to their lives. I would go up to Dublin on the bus and wait for Peter at the terminal- Had it really only been a week since I had left America?

I wonderful night with Peter and his family and a very early lift to the airport (6am- Peter is a good man, and very like his father Jim.) The flight home was endless, the layover in Boston far too long, as I was anxious to be home.

Even now I wish it was all a bad dream, and even now, I am not sleeping well.

I love and miss you, Sean. You were the best of men.