New Year's Resolutions for 2018

To talk about resolutions, I need to consider where I am right now as well as looking back at 2017.

In October 2016, I made the decision to get a “Dave” job to help me get out of debt. Dave Ramsey has some principles about debt elimination and cash flowing life and I wanted to get to that point. I signed up for Care.com and started babysitting for two families. 

In November 2016, I made the last payment on my car and started the process to work per diem for Maxim as an RN- the pay isn’t great but the hands on complex care gives me the opportunity to keep those skills current. And the extra money doesn’t hurt. 

In December of 2016, I remortgaged my house to a 15 year loan that I pay in biweekly payments and finished payments on braces for my child. But I had to put in a new HVAC system that added to my debt. 

In 2017, I moved up my retirement contributions- … I am at 15% on my 403(b) withholding.  But I had significant medical costs related to a medical complication that I needed to address urgently. Most of those bills have been paid now, but I still carry a small balance and have new charges coming soon. 

I paid cash for a bathroom repair, but still need to save the money for a new hot water heater.

October 2017 saw the end of my credit card debt- a journey that started in September of 2014. Which was AMAZING!!! I also cash flowed not one but two trips to NYC and a trip to Orlando in a five week time span. Sometimes you just have to go and reconnect with people. It was totally worth it. 

I also cash flowed Christmas and kept it on the simple side, but I wrote Christmas cards to everyone- a tradition I had stopped a few years back. It was time to jump back in. 

All in all, a solid year of mostly responsible behavior. 

And 2018? Well- many things I want to do I have tried before and some are change-ups from years past...

Cooking at home and packing my lunch to save money and eat better.

Minimizing buying this year- Spend less and save more… I want to really try and make do with the stuff that fills my house instead of looking for newer and better. 

Downsize my belongings: On February 14th, Ash Wednesday, 40 bags begins again at my house. I will reduce the amount of stuff around me that really doesn’t contribute to my life…

Do a better job of being a positive person: As “Dear Abby” says, “What is the kindest, most loving thing I can say or do at this particular moment?" 

Take a sewing class with my aunt and my child: I want to learn how to hem pants- learn to use a sewing machine and who knows, copy my favorite dress.

Grow a vegetable garden. But not a small one. One that will really produce food for my table.

 

Support charity more: I am going to do 4 volunteer weekends with RAM and I am going to try and get as many of my nurse friends to join me as possible. I keep complaining about what isn't done for our poor and vulnerable in this country. Time to put my money where my mouth is!

Spend more quality time with my children… possibly family game night…  We had good fun playing Quelf the other night.

I want to learn how to be content with where my life is at the moment- be in the moment instead of wistfully wishing for a better past/future life.

What will you try to accomplish this year? I wish you luck with it.

Happy New Year!

It's a Wonderful Life

On Sunday night, December 11, 1977,  It Happened One Christmas was the ABC movie and I watched it and was captivated by the story. Marlo Thomas played Mary Bailey Hatch, a woman who always dreamed of traveling the world but ended up running her family’s small town business, The Bailey Building and Loan and marrying a local mechanic. When Mary’s husband George, played by Wayne Rogers, goes off to war with his brother Harry and the Hatchs' friends, Bert and Ernie, they all write letters to Mary telling her their war stories.

One Christmas Eve, when Mary is on the brink of financial ruin, she considers suicide, but is rescued by her guardian angel, Clara Oddbody, played by Cloris Leachmen. Clara, who has not yet earned her wings, shows Mary what life would be like without her. Mary gets to see all the good she has done in the world and begs to be able to live again.

I remember telling my mom the story, every detail with delight. Mom then told me it was a remake of another Christmas film she loved, It’s a Wonderful Life, and told me we would watch it together when it next aired- this was back when there were only a handful of channels and such films aired once a year.

 

Mom introduced me to Bedford Falls, Mr. Potter, the pool under the gym floor and all the wonder of the Jimmy Stewart’s George Bailey and his amazing life of sacrifice for the greater good and I fell in love with the beautiful story. From that Christmas to this, it has been a staple of the season, alongside Frosty, Rudolph and Santa Claus is Coming to Town.

Logan Avenue

My mother had arrived with Margaret, her soon to be mother in law, at Uncle Brian's home in the Bronx, where she had lived since coming to America. She was there to pick up her two younger sisters that were visiting America. The plan was for all of them to go to the World's Fair in Flushing Meadows for the day.

Her sister told me that she came into the house annoyed that the young girls were not ready on time and everyone yelled,  "Surprise".

It is funny when you look at old photos- I remember the coffee pot, and the wallpaper on the staircase. I think Mom looks very like each of my sisters, in the pictures. How young she was- just a little older than my daughter is now. Such a pretty blue dress...

Mom would be 79 today. She is still missed.

The Inn at Milleridge

Fifteen years ago today, I had my last outing with my mother at the Inn at Milleridge. It was her friend Mary's 90th Birthday party and my mom really wanted to go and asked if I would take her.  It was a Sunday and I had nothing planned so I told her I was happy to- even if it meant driving out to the end of Long Island.

We arrives at the snow covered Inn at mid-day and spend several hours seated with relatives of Mary- the man was a firefighter and we talked about the Firefighter physical test when I proctored the drug testing. His wife was amazed he was so chatty. We talked about my husband's pizza being the best in the world (my opinion, cause it is) and about my son's first Christmas coming up soon. We had a lovely meal and the singing was wonderful.

The Carolers were dressed as if from "A Christmas Carol" and they sang all afternoon.

It was just the perfect celebration of Mary and her life. Mom and Mary sat together for a photo. One of the last, if not the last, that was taken of my mother. This was back before every cellphone had a camera, before Facebook, so they promised they would send us a copy.

It never occurred to me to have them take a picture of me with mom.

In the business of children, work at the new job and getting ready for Christmas, I didn't see mom for her Birthday, and I have no clear memory of speaking to her that day, or any other conversations, because we talked all the time. None of them stand out in my mind.

Mom died Christmas day that year, and Mary gave me the photo at her wake. There is a little too much sunlight behind them but it was a beautiful picture. All my mom's siblings remarked on how well she looked. I promised to make and send copies to all of them.

I will always be so grateful for that last wonderful afternoon, those memories, and my photo. Not sure how I would feel if I had said "No" when mom asked.

If today was your last day...

An acquaintance collapsed at a work meeting Thursday, had emergency surgery for a ruptured brain aneurysm and was admitted to the ICU, never regaining consciousness. The family continued life support to preserve organs for donation.

It was like Mom all over again.

My mother collapsed at work, never regaining consciousness. She died five days later. She never got to be retired, she never got to collect her pension. She didn’t finish paying off her mortgage, she didn’t get Social Security. She worked her whole life, raising me and my siblings, working at Dollar Savings Bank, which became Dollar- Dry Dock and finally Emigrant.

Her customers came to her wake, sobbing in disbelief.  Her coworkers, their children, most of mom’s siblings, her mother… My siblings and father had to “make arrangements”. We had to go through her stuff, redistribute her life.

The items she was saving for a special occasion.

The outfits that were “too nice” for work.

The things she loved and cherished.

I have always been sad about the things my mother missed. Watching my brother get married, seeing her grandchildren grow up and get settled in life. I wonder what she would have thought about the events of our world and how much has changed since she has been gone… and how much is very much the same.

I wonder how she would have felt about selling our family home.

What she would have thought of Bitcoin, Facebook, IPhones and Instagram…

Her thought on the Pope, the President, and Great Britain leaving the EU…

I am really missing my mom today.

Step One Undone

I have has a rough financial summer due to some medical complications that have not only depleted my emergency fun but promise to keep the bills rolling in for months to come.

I am starting again. Saving the $1000 dollars. Again. And then paying the medical bills and furnace by snowballing. Again.

And paying for a new water heater, cause mine is starting to leak and is 14 years old. That is how it is with home ownership- always something.

So I keep on keeping on. It is hard sometimes, but I am still in a better place that I was this time last year.

Ally

On the morning of June 5th, 2017, my young cousin, Alison Moore was thrown from a motorcycle and sustained a serious head injury.   The fellow on the bike with her was uninjured.

Ally went first to Cavan Hospital and was later transferred to a hospital in Northern Dublin where she underwent surgery to relieve the pressure on her brain. A second surgery was done later in the week but on Saturday, June 10th, Ally died from her injuries. She was 25.


Sometimes it is so hard to be so far away. I just cannot imagine the pain and sorrow- my aunt and uncle and Ally's three sisters need prayers.

My daughter, who got to know Ally when she was in Ireland last winter, was distraught at the news. She called from Germany, where she is currently working, heartbroken.

There just are not words.

Many of my family have flown back to Ireland to be together and local families have offered to house any who need a place to stay. I am unable to but am there in spirit.

Such a loss is hard to imagine. Tributes poured in for our amazing girl. She is being waked at home and her funeral is scheduled for tomorrow morning in St Laobhíns Chapel, Killeevan at eleven o’clock.

I will remember Ally's infectious laugh, her kindness and how much she valued family.

Rest in peace, dear cousin.

Financial Peace University, Class Three

Our class was a little smaller this week- and it is all about the budget and developing a plan to assign every dollar in your spending plan.

Budgeting is not easy for me- I discovered in this process that there are a whole lot of wants coming out of my budget and not enough planning for needs that will come up.

The hard work starts now.

Financial Peace University, Class Two

Over $184,000

 

In a class of 4 families, we have a total of over $184,000 in NON-Mortgage debt...

 

HOLY COW!

 

I feel a little stunned by that number. The burden of debt is real in America's families.

 

Additionally, I discovered I am 60% Free Spirit and 40% Nerd when it comes to money- which I can totally see.

 

Finding an accountability partner as a single person is a challenge, as is creating a viable budget. I definitely have work to do. And a lot of work to do with my kids around budgeting and the old "wants" vs. "needs".

 

I guess that is why we call them baby steps.

 

 



Financial Peace University, Class One

I finally signed up and started my classes. I am in class with one married couple, a married older man whose wife is not attending, and another single lady just like me.

Totally did not realize Dave did videos to go with the class. The thing that stands out was the story of his old oak table- so much happens around a dining room table. Life is lived, mistakes are made, and you learn and learn.

I think of my table- covered with the paperwork of my life. My mortgage payment notice for this month, the furnace payment notice. And credit card offers that are awaiting shredding. Mortgage insurance offers... also awaiting shredding.

Among the papers is a list that I generated showing all my purchases from the first of January till April 30th. In reviewing the list, I discovered a whole lot of wants scattered among a few needs. Even now, as far as I have come, I still have so, so very far to go.

I need to stop blowing money, period.

So I made lunches for the week after spending $65 dollars on groceries. I mixed my own lemonade instead of buying pre-mixed. I used things already in my pantry to fill out my meal plan.

I am starting to better understand why Dave calls them baby steps.

Can't wait for class #2 in two weeks.

5623 day countdown

15 years, 4 months, and 22 days from today I will be eligible to retire from my current job and receive a small pension and have Medicare as my health insurance. It doesn't seem so long, really. I work with good people and like what I do.

A little less than two years later, I will be able to start receiving Social Security.

Well, according to today's rules... but as this White House has taught us, rules have been made to be abolished.

Additionally, I contribute to a 403b through payroll deduction- unfortunately we do not get a match, but you can't have everything. I am on schedule to have my house paid off before I retire- how much before remains to be seen- I would LOVE to get it done in the next 8 years, but will settle for 10 if I have to... Time will tell.

I look forward to exploring places and not having to rush home. See friends and family around the globe. Walk on the Great Wall, see the Pyramids, visit Petra, take in Bethlehem, pray at the Wailing Wall, dance in Buenos Aires.... so many adventures await.

Baby step Two

So in 2011 I tried a spending fast that didn't really go that well. I got debt free that go round. And then I financed a car and started paying for braces and shopping on credit to fill the gaps. BIG MISTAKE!!! I regret not making a proper budget then. Live and learn I guess.

I tried again to get my finances in check in 2014- I have not used a credit card since that time but have STILL not paid off what I owe in consumer debt. Amazing how quickly those balances can climb.

Progress since then has been steady and I have been working hard since September of 2016, but I had to finance a new furnace at the end of 2016. Bah-Humbug! More debt added to the pile. But the old furnace was over 30 years old. It was time.

Now my car is paid off.

I paid the last installment on my son's braces.

I finished paying off the hospital for my surgery last summer.

I refinanced my mortgage to a 15 year at a lower rate.

I am working outside the hospital for additional income and will try to earn a promotion this year.

I keep reminding myself it took me years to build up this debt. That I need to be patient.

I am impatient. I want to be there. I want to be done.

Getting out of debt is so much harder than getting in. When I get free this time I am staying that way. Period- end of story.

Death and Dying in Prime Time

Warning: If you have unwatched stuff on your DVR this post will include DEVASTATING spoilers...

It started with Max Keenan on "Bones", Temperance Brennan's sweet dad, played by Ryan O'Neal. Max was protecting his grandchildren at a safe house and was shot saving the life of an agent on the protection detail.

Did I mention Max, in a previous life was a thief, a murderer and the dad who abandoned his children without a word, to protect them from the folks who later killed Brennan's mom?

Max had to work to become a meaningful part of Brennan's life and to get Booth to trust him. He proved over and over his family was first and in the end gave his life for those babies. He died in the hospital as I wept along with Brennan.

And then her tribute to him at his funeral... I just can't...

Then "This is Us", a newcomer this season, had Randall and his biological dad, William, roadtrip to Memphis to visit where William started his life. We learn that William's dad was in the military and was killed before William was born. We meet William's mom, see more of William's story with Randall's mom, and how the death of William's mother is what pushed him down the  rabbit hole... where the drugs take over.

We all know William has end stage cancer. We all know he is dying. I started crying when he wants to see the place where some of Jack's ashes were scattered. Jack is Randall's adoptive dad who would calm his panic attacks by gently cradling Randall's face in his hands... William thanks Jack for the amazing job he did raising their son... "Thank you for doing what I couldn’t, for raising him to be the man he is".... Tissue anyone?

When the end is near and William is so afraid, Randall gently cradles William's face in his hands.... tells him to breathe... And I am COMPLETELY a mess. I will need to prepare for the funeral.

Now I was behind on "Nashville" so I watched 3 episodes back to back. Nothing prepared me for Rayna... The stalker, the crash...

But when she saw her mom, I knew for sure she was dying. I wanted to be wrong... And then they moved her to ICU.

Her kids and husband sang "A Life That's Good" as her heart stopped and I was shredded. Heartbroken...

Again...

What a hell of a week in Primetime.

Deacon Claybourne, Mattie, Daphne and the rest of the Nashville crowd will move on, but I am calling it quits. I see no point if Rayna is gone- she was the foundation of the show- so many story lines just ended with her death.

I am done. I don't want to see her funeral or the custody battle... I am done.

Taxes

The only sure things in life- Death and Taxes.

I already got my return and spent the vast majority on debt repayment. Old Geri would have spent it on wants... a vacation, a new computer, stuff. But Dave Ramsey's Geri is focused on being permanently debt free. So I paid off two medical bills and paid a big chunk on one of my last two consumer debts.

If all goes according to plan, I will be finished my snowball in a little more than a year.

I am doing date night babysitting for two families and interviewing with a third. I am cleaning a house every Saturday till the older couple sells their home. And I am doing my full-time nursing job.

It will not be forever.

And then I will be free!

Baby Step One is DONE!!!

I have been halfway working the Dave Ramsey steps for a while on  a winding journey to becoming debt free. What does that look like? I have not used a credit card since September of 2014. 

Oh my- that seems like such a long time ago.

In the fall of 2016, I decided I needed to do more- so I started reading Dave's books and working on saving $1000 in an emergency fund. Today, it is in there. All $1000 dollars. All my January bills are paid, I have grocery and gas money, and a baby emergency fund.

I finally have some breathing room in my budget.

I finished paying off braces and my Honda- a huge increase in my cash flow for a minute, but in going to the recommended 15 year mortgage, I have a larger payment. Over time I will save a huge amount by cutting off the 8 years- I am focused on that.

The other fly in the ointment was the new furnace/air conditioner. After 30 years, it was way past time, and having a QUIET furnace is kind of amazing. Merry Christmas to me, but I hate that I had to take on the debt. It is "no interest" but I hate it.

On the plus side, my TWO Dave jobs are bringing in much needed income. I am spending less time at home watching TV in the evenings and on the weekends, but I have a goal. A debt free life. The hard work is so worth it.

Additionally, I keep reminding myself that it won't be like this forever.

On to the debt snowball!