There’s
nothing wrong with being alone
I used to think the worst thing in
life was to end up all alone, it’s not. The worst thing in life is to end up
with people that make you feel alone.
Learn
to forgive yourself, not just others
Good people end up in Hell because
they can’t forgive themselves.
It’s
OK to be crazy
You’re only given a little spark of
madness. You mustn’t lose it.
The
modern man has real struggles
See, the problem is that God gives
men a brain and a penis, and only enough blood to run one at a time.
Pick
your battles wisely
Never fight with an ugly person,
they’ve got nothing to lose.
The
gun debate is not a debate
The Second Amendment says we have
the right to bear arms, not to bear artillery.
Even
God supports weed legalization
Do you think God gets stoned? I
think so… look at the platypus.
The
hook-up culture is very real
Ah, yes, divorce… from the Latin
word meaning to rip out a man’s genitals through his wallet.
Never
stop reaching for greatness
No matter what people tell you,
words and ideas can change the world.
Surround
yourself with the right people
When you have a great audience, you
can just keep going and finding new things.
All
marriage, gay or straight, is the same
You could talk about same-sex
marriage, but people who have been married say ‘It’s the same sex all the time.
You
can’t appreciate the good until you’ve felt the bad
You will have bad times, but they
will always wake you up to the stuff you weren’t paying attention to.
Women
deserve to rule the world
A nuclear bomb is a man’s way of
saying, ‘I’m gonna fuck up the earth.’ A woman would never make a nuclear bomb.
They would never make a weapon that kills. They’d make a weapon that makes you
feel bad for a while… That’s why there should be a woman president, there would
never be any wars. You know this, it’s the truth. There would never be a war;
just every twenty-eight days: some severe negotiations.
When
you think about death and the after-life
Death is nature’s way of saying,
‘your table is ready.’
Music,
like food, is necessary for survival
You know what music is? God’s little
reminder that there’s something else besides us in this universe; harmonic
connection between all living beings, every where, even the stars.
There’s
no such thing as a perfect person
She is not perfect. You are not
perfect. The question is whether or not you are perfect for each other.
Selfies
are pretty narcissistic
Nobody takes a picture of something
they want to forget.
Everyone
has a purpose, every action has a meaning
I believe in destiny. There must be
a reason that I am as I am. There must be.
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