New Year's Eve 2013

Reviewing my resolutions for 2013:

I want to grow spiritually, emotionally and mentally, while shrinking physically.

Early in 2013, I had the flu. Despite having the flu vaccine early in the season, I got really sick. At the same time, a guy from the old neighborhood was also sick with the flu. Just as my doctor and I were discussing my need for a chest X-ray, this man was in-patient with pneumonia. He was intubated. And even with the best care anywhere, he died.

When I found out he died, my life changed. I called a doctor that day and moved forward with weight loss surgery. I made the decision to change my life and in September, I had a gastric sleeve and hiatal hernia repair. Almost 50lbs later, I am looking forward to moving more, doing more and there is no going back.

In August I realized a lifelong dream and traveled to Africa. I remembered how much I loved seeing new places and learning about other cultures. The result is a me I haven’t seen in a while, and I am loving rediscovering the girl I was.

I give myself a B+ for a job well done.


I want to spend more time with my family. I want to learn more of my family history and share it with my children.

I love spending time with my children and my extended family, and loved my time with my sister at the end of the summer. I love the nights when my son and I curl up and watch the latest greatest thing and when he jumps into the books I have long loved. I enjoy that helping my daughter edit her papers has helped her grow as a student. I love the holidays, with Pictionary championship play and good food with the celebrations… a good time had by all!

Again a B+


I want to learn how to be content with where my life is at the moment- be in the moment instead of wistfully wishing for a different life.

Taking a day at a time, dedicating myself to family and home, and living the best life I can while sharing my time with friends and exploring the world around me… there are still difficult days, moments of sad reflection, but they are fewer and farther between.

In this, a C+ shows my effort.

And for 2014…

Reduce the amount of stuff around me that really doesn’t contribute to my life…

Continue my focus on a healthier lifestyle and weight loss…

Reading more…

Spending more quality time with my children and family…

Spending less money...

Do a better job of being a positive person. As “Dear Abby” says, What is the kindest, most loving thing I can say or do at this particular moment?"

Happy New Year!

Christmas with Jesus

Tea has been made and enjoyed, gifts have been exchanged and unwrapped and "A Christmas Story" is playing in the background. Family far and near have been in touch by phone and social media, and my cousin posted this to remember both my mom and her dad. As I write this I think of those who have only just lost loved ones. I am praying for you today.

I'm Spending Christmas with Jesus Christ this Year

I see the countless Christmas trees,...
Around the world below.
With tiny lights, like heaven's stars,
Reflecting on the snow.

The sight is so spectacular,
Please wipe away that tear.
For I'm spending Christmas,
With Jesus Christ this year.

I hear the many Christmas songs,
That people hold so dear.
But the sounds of music can't compare,
With the Christmas choir up here.

For I have no words to tell you,
The joy their voices bring.
For it is beyond description,
To hear the angels sing.

I can't tell you of the splendor,
Or the peace here in this place.
Can you just imagine Christmas,
With our Savior, face to face?

I'll ask Him to light your spirit,
As I tell Him of your love.
So then pray one for another,
As I lift you eyes above.

Please let your hearts be joyful,
And let your spirit sing.
For I'm Spending Christmas in Heaven,
And I'm walking with the King.

~© Wanda Bencke ~

Thankfulness Journal Day Thirty

On December 20th 2002, a Friday just like today, I got a call that changed my life. My mom had collapsed at work. She did not regain consciousness before dying on Christmas night.

Today, in honor of her, I am thankful for:

1) First responders
2) ER nurses
3) ICU nurses
4) those last few days to say goodbye
5) her lasting presence in my life

I love you, Mom. Always!

Thankfulness Journal Days 27-29

Thankfulness Journal Day 27

It is Tuesday, December 17th and I am grateful for:

1. A puppy’s owner found
2. Visits from friends and neighbors
3. Sending stuff to live somewhere else
4. Sharing the books I love with my son- Hitchhiker's Guide series is his current Favorite
5. Friends who are more tech savvy than me- so that is how to get the battery to stay in

Thankfulness Journal Day 28
It is Wednesday, December 18th and I am grateful for:

1. Random E-mails from friends around the world- love staying in touch
2. Cousins everywhere who are up for anything
3. Skipping commercials on my DVR- LOVE!
4. Super scores on Candy Crush
5. That my uncle was not injured when he fell today- Scary!

Thankfulness Journal Day 29
It is Thursday, December 19th and I am grateful for:

1. Calls from my favorite EB mammas
2. Cute reindeer hair on Facebook
3. Chicken Salad by Bobbie- YUMMY
4. Happy Birthday celebrations and decorations
5. Santa kneeling in front of the Baby Jesus

Thankfulness Journal days 23-26

Thankfulness Journal Day 23


It is Friday, December 13th and I am grateful for:

1. The ornament my sister sent me- I love it

2. My father’s generous offer- he wants me to visit and offered to pay, since budgeting the trip would postpone it for a long while

3. My son’s teachers, who give their best every day and it shows

4. Snow on a weekend- so I don’t have to drive all the way downtown in it

5. Surprise presents- My aunt left me Irish tea- picture me happy!


Thankfulness Journal Day 24

It is Saturday, December 14th and I am grateful for:

1. Saturday dermatology appointments (and cancellations that get me in so fast!)

2. That my little spots were easy to remove and my skin check is now all clear

3. My snake racks going to a good home

4. Ron helping me move heavy stuff up the stairs

5. That the predicted rotten weather didn’t show up- Happy day!


Thankfulness Journal Day 25

It is Sunday, December 15th and I am grateful for:

1. Confirmed travel plans- my daughter, my son and I all know where everyone will be and when…

2. My daughter’s dad’s family- they are good people to both her and me.

3. The kindness of my children- we rescued a little stray on a cold night- now to find the owners

4. The Fairfield Police- because they take “found animal” reports

5. The wait staff everywhere- they work hard


Thankfulness Journal Day 26

It is Monday, December 16th and I am grateful for:

1. Scoopable litter- if you have a cat, you know what I mean

2. CCHMC and the staff here- it is a special place

3. My friends at Forest Park Auto- they make it so much easier

4. Goodies from the office- love my new hand cream!

5. Recycled treasures

Thankfulness Journal Day 22

Today is all about my mother, Nuala Elizabeth Kelly who was born three quarters of a century ago today. She was always a special person and today I remember:

She taught my Aunt Irene to drive... a fact my aunt is still grateful for...

She let me have pet mice and my sister Ellen pet hamsters, even though they terrified her.

She once made and entire loaf of bread worth of French Toast when my cousins were over, and we ate every piece.

She introduced me to some of the greatest films ever made: It's a Wonderful Life, Roman Holiday, Sabrina... She loved Audrey Hepburn...

She read all the time and instilled the importance of reading- there were always books in the house.

She was kind to everyone, and a true friend. We did not always agree but I always knew I was loved.

Happy Birthday in Heaven Mom- we all miss you!


The "definitive version", as published by The Times and The Sunday Times in Mary Frye's obituary, 5 November 2004:


Do not stand at my grave and weep,

I am not there; I do not sleep.

I am a thousand winds that blow,

I am the diamond glints on snow,

I am the sun on ripened grain,

I am the gentle autumn rain.

When you awaken in the morning’s hush

I am the swift uplifting rush

Of quiet birds in circling flight.

I am the soft starlight at night.

Do not stand at my grave and cry,

I am not there; I did not die.

Thankfulness Journal Day 21

Pope Francis is the Person of the Year 2013. And he just amazes me more each day. The article discusses who he is and how he works:

Pope Francis is quoted saying of women who consider abortion because of poverty or rape, “Who can remain unmoved before such painful situations?”

Of gay people: “If a homosexual person is of good will and is in search of God, I am no one to judge.”

To divorced and remarried Catholics who are, by rule, forbidden from taking Communion, he says that this crucial rite “is not a prize for the perfect but a powerful medicine and nourishment for the weak.”


And so Francis signals great change while giving the same answers to the uncomfortable questions.

On the question of female priests: “We need to work harder to develop a profound theology of the woman.” Which means: no.

No to abortion, because an individual life begins at conception.

No to gay marriage, because the male-female bond is established by God.

“The teaching of the church … is clear,” he has said, “and I am a son of the church, but”—and here he adds his prayer for himself—“it is not necessary to talk about those issues all the time.”

If that prayer should be answered, if somehow by his own vivid example Francis could bring the church into a new relationship with its critics and dissidents—agreeing to disagree about issues that divide them while cooperating in the urgent mission of spreading mercy—he might unleash untold good. “Argue less, accomplish more” could be a healing motto for our times. We have a glut of problems to tackle. Francis says by example, Stop bickering and roll up your sleeves. Don’t let the perfect be the enemy of the good—an important thing for the world to hear, especially from a man who holds an office deemed infallible.

What a breath of fresh air... He is all five of my great things today! We do not agree in all things- but to agree to disagree- he gives me hope with his love of all!

Thankfulness Journal Days 17, 18, 19 and 20...

I am thankful for the stories I love to watch unfold on TV:

1) Downton Abbey- season 4 is right around the corner...
2) Sherlock Holmes- I love the modern day BBC version with Benedict Cumberbatch and Martin Freeman.
3) Elementary- I like Sherlock here too... and the movies with Jude Law and Robert Downey Jr... I sense a theme here...
4) Carrie Diaries- my guilty pleasure.
5) Necessary Roughness
6) Covert Affairs
7) Blacklist
8) Hostages- yes I know, I am the only one still watching
9) Big Bang Theory
10) The Sing-Off- I like Jewel as a judge.
11) Bones
12) CSI
13) Criminal Minds
14) Scandal- but this week was hard to watch
15) Chicago Fire
16) Royal Pains
17) NCIS
18) NCIS LA
19) Mad Men
20) Grey's Anatomy
21) Modern Family
22) Nashville
23) Rizolli and Isles

Wow- no wonder my DVR is always full!

Thankfulness Journal Day 16

Tsh Oxenreider's 5 Christmas Carols are the five things I am thankful for today. Each brings its own joy to the celebration of the birth of Christ and the wish for peace on earth and good will tomards mankind.

Tonight I will be decorating our Christmas tree listening to these and other favorites. I can't wait.

Nelson Mandela and the gifts he gave the world...

Dear Mr. Mandela,
My thanks for all you gave the world...

"For to be free is not merely to cast off one's chains, but to live in a way that respects and enhances the freedom of others."

"If you want to make peace with your enemy, you have to work with your enemy. Then he becomes your partner."

"If there are dreams about a beautiful South Africa, there are also roads that lead to their goal. Two of these roads could be named Goodness and Forgiveness."

"We must use time wisely and forever realize that the time is always ripe to do right."

As for my favorite quote- I came to find it was not Mr. Mandela.... but I believe he would share the sentiment...

"...Our deepest fear is not that we are inadequate.
Our deepest fear is that we are powerful beyond measure.
It is our light, not our darkness that most frightens us.
We ask ourselves, Who am I to be brilliant, gorgeous, talented, fabulous?
Actually, who are you not to be?

You are a child of God.

Your playing small does not serve the world.
There is nothing enlightened about shrinking so that other people won't feel insecure around you.
We are all meant to shine, as children do.
We were born to make manifest the glory of God that is within us.
It's not just in some of us; it's in everyone.
And as we let our own light shine, we unconsciously give other people permission to do the same.
As we are liberated from our own fear, our presence automatically liberates others."

This passage is commonly mis-attributed to Nelson Mandela's 1994 Inaugural Address. It actually comes from the book 'A Return To Love' (1992) by Marianne Williamson (Thanks to www.aetw.org)

Thankful Journal Day 15

Today is focused on Christmas. I know some object to how Christmas has gone toward all the "stuff" and moved away from the Nativity story... But I am thankful for:

1) The Christmas specials I loved as a child, that still bring me joy
2) The decorations and lights that make the neighborhood so pretty even on cold wet nights
3) Cards from friends and my family- even my cousin Catherine, who doesn't even wait till December to mail them anymore...
4) My angel tree topper- I have had her since my daughter was a baby and I love seeing her perched on top of my tree
5) Fake trees- Love not having pine needles I need to pick up afterwards.

Thankfulness Journal Day 13 and 14

The five things I was thankful for yesterday include:


1) The love of my children

2) The peace of my home

3) The closeness of family

4) The laughter of life's folly

5) The honor of good people who surround me


The five things I am thankful for today include:


1) The joy I share with my friends when we talk

2) The joy of Christmas and all the preparation

3) The joy of surprise gifts in the mail

4) The joy of get togethers that are as fun as they are informal

5) The joy that is 40 lbs gone…

And today, the people I honor are the doctors I work with who support me in supporting EB families. I cannot imagine doing this work without them.

Thankfulness Journal Day Twelve

My favorite websites are what I am thankful for today:


1) BBC news, because it is not all about America

2) Pinterest, because I like to pretend I could ever be that crafty

3) Facebook, because my family and friends cover the globe and it is a great way to stay in touch

4) Blogspot, because I can pretend to be a real writer any time I want

5) Yahoo, for mail, cheesy news stories and Dear Abby

And I am thankful for the Chausmers, my friends who are also family

World AIDS Day

French scientist Francoise Barre-Sinoussi with her colleague Luc Montagnier  identifyied HIV, the virus that causes AIDS, a plague that has killed about 35 million people since the 1980's. This made testing possible for the first time.

They received the 2008 Nobel Prize in Physiology or Medicine.

And their discovery has led to treatments and improvements in the HIV+ world.

I, for one, am grateful!

So for today, I am thankful for:

1) Francoise Barre-Sinoussi
2) Luc Montagnier 
3) David Ho for protease inhibitors
4) Ryan White
5) The CDC, doctors and researchers who have been fighting the good fight for decades.