Foster Caregiving- the Home Study

The home study process was an interesting one.

The application was pages long and asked not only about who we are but also who we wanted or didn't want.

I had to get rid of my corn snakes, even though I mentioned owning them during my training classes and nobody said they were not permitted. I was told they would license me, but would never consider placing a child with me as long as I owned the snakes.

So I sold the collection, except for three Kenny will keep for me.

Then I started collecting all the paperwork.

And discovered the court never did send my final divorce paperwork. So off to the courthouse I went, to get a copy.


References from friends and family were next…

Physicals for me and the kids… thankfully we do them anyway.

Vet checks for all my animals…

The collection of baby items and the purchase of a crib… Because they won't place a baby or toddler if you don't already have them.

I read some amazing books on fostering children who had suffered. I talked to friends who were foster parents.

I searched out taxes from 2007-present… Where 2009 is remains a mystery...

There were a series of home visits of over an hour on several occasions… Interviews with both of my children...

Over 14 months of effort…

So I finally got an appointment for my fire inspection- one of the last things left. The final visit would be done after the inspection was complete. I e-mailed the date, excited to be nearing the finish line...

And then I received the following:

“I need to discuss some concerns presented to the agency. I am asking for a time when you will be able to talk and have privacy. If that is impossible (given your work demands, etc) I can email the concerns to you. Let me know and I'll follow up with you accordingly.”

So I called. And found out there were two confidential sources that led to significant concerns and I am considered unsuitable to be a foster parent.

I had two options:

I could appeal a denied home study, but that would only mean more time an effort with very little hope of being approved. I might however have a clearer understanding of what the issues were...

I could withdraw my application. Let go.

I hung up the phone before my sobs were audible...

The follow-up e-mail from the agency was brief:

“I need to know if you want me to follow through with denying your home study or if you would like to withdraw from the process. If you could, please respond by the end of the week. I apologize for any disappointment and frustration the agency has caused you. “

I withdrew my application. I now have to accept that my family will not include more children. Not even temporary ones. And I will never know why.

Honestly, my heart is shattered and bleeding- and I have a house full of baby stuff that needs a real home.
And I need to tell people I was found unsuitable...

All I want to do is crawl up in a ball under the blankets and cry myself to sleep...