On September 11, 2001, I lived in the Bronx with my husband and daughter, and was expecting my son. I worked in a special needs preschool near home and as a native New Yorker, I was quite at home in New York City.
My husband and my friend Paul Edson had left very early that day, heading north to Cooperstown and the baseball hall of fame. Liz was at St. Frances and would go to mass that morning.
It was primary day, so I voted before going to work.
What a beautiful day!
I had worked hard to collect and update contact information for parents and emergency contacts. I was sitting with a young man who's son was new to our school when we heard something was wrong... Manhatten shut down...One of the towers on fire... The Queens bus couldn't get over the bridge- it was closed...And Tracy, newly pregnant, got a call from Brent, her husband. The building was hit by a plane. They were evacuating... It was the last time they ever spoke.
I passed out my cards to all the teachers so they could start evacuating the children, and told the principal that I would get my daughter and return, to wait for all the children to be picked up. I knew with bridges closed it could be a long day, and that some parents just might not come home...
I went on local streets as all the highway entrances were blocked by patrol cars. And waited at the school till the kids came back from Mass. In looking back it was a blessing. Because I didn't see it live. I didn't see them fall...
I actually heard about the towers collapsing in the car after picking up Liz. And about the Pentagon... It wasn't until we were waiting at 5:30 with our last five students that I saw the footage that is now so familiar. I felt the vomit rise in my throat. As if I had been struck. It still feels like that.
Like everyone else, I prayed there were pockets, with survivors trapped. I prayed they were wrong about the number of missing firemen. And I will NEVER forget watching the mayor, live, in his dust covered suit, saying the losses of the day would be more than we could bear...
CNN unscrambled their cable feed, as all the local channels went black when the tower with all the antennas collapsed. I watched it non-stop. And saw the Palestinians cheer at the collapse of the towers...My blood boiled as my heart ached...
I wanted to go and dig for survivors. I was a nurse. I could help.
But I was a mother who's daughter was terrified. And I was a pregnant woman. I had no place on the pile.
The city that never sleeps shut down- schools were closed on September 12. There were no plays, no games, just the sound of military choppers and the air force jets on patrol. Deafening silence. And the smell of the burning pile 14 miles away would come to us as the wind shifted. And I watched CNN, still praying for miracles. And I cried. Like the rest of the world.
Time stood still. Over 300 firemen dead, 14 ESU cops dead, nearly 3000 dead.
Osama Bin Laden. HATRED raged in me. And overwhelming grief and pain and sadness.
Michael Lynch was missing. Dennis Mulligan was missing... The list of neighborhood people grew... The people I knew... Jay, Thomas, John, Ray...
But my brother in law Tommy was safe. And Billy B was safe. Pat and Colleen and Mike were safe... Dennis- Roe's fireman husband was safe...
And in time we went back to work and school. The rescue effort became a recovery effort. The funerals started. In October, Ray on Friday, Dennis on Saturday... Hundreds of firefighters...
Time passed.
And life happened. My baby was going to be a boy, my granny died, I got a rocking chair at my shower.
Michael's funeral was on the anniversary of Pearl Harbor. His Uncle, Cardinal McCarrick, who had confirmed all of us, said the mass...
We had flags everywhere. We were a country, a world united...
Then the US invaded Afganistan, where the Soviets fought for years before giving up...
On March 21st 2002 they found Michael's remains with those of the woman he shielded with his coat.
On April 25th 2002 they had Jay's funeral at Saint Patrick's Cathedral. God how I miss that crazy brave boy.
Time passed, less slowly...
And where are we now....
Sill in Afganistan, and Iraq too.
And it seems the Arab world is at war from within- no idea how that will turn out...
Bin Laden is dead.
Tracy had a girl and started a foundation in Brent's memory: http://www.woodallkids.org/
All the Lynch family help with Michael's foundation:
http://www.mlynch.org/
And my home is in Ohio now. My son is in 4th grade, my daughter graduated high school. We are far away from the city that is so much a part of who I still am. My past, my comfort, my family.
And I will never forget...
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