Okay, so I was a complete and utter FLOP at this the last time (See July and August entries)...Anna Newell Jones, of AndThenSheSaved.com is clearly a better person than me.
I am going to try this again. October 1st is the launch date for my second attempt. Hopefully I last more than a week this time around.
And here is my updated list of Items I need to spend money on:
Mortgage/Home Insurance/Escrow: Not optional!
Urgent Home repairs- To rate as urgent I will ask Tony; If he says "Now", then now it is.
Utilities (keeping lights and water off as much as possible and using the dryer less; keeping the thermostat at 65 and wearing a sweater when the cold comes)
Basic Cell phone service- For both John and me. He is keeping Liz's number and I have my own bill now.
Internet/TV/Phone- because as much as I need to pay my debt, I need 911 ability when the power is out, internet for working from home, and TV for my son so the next six months does not kill him
Food (store bought and only when I run out of stuff in cupboards and freezers)
School fees and Latchkey (like death and taxes- unavoidable!)
Allowance for John- cause he works so hard
Fairfield Community Center Pass for me- the exercise is essential to my health plan.
Doctors, Dentists and Medication co-pays- cause healthy is happy. (And with 2 less meds, it is less money)
Car insurance- which is down to the bare bones with both the Monte and the Land Rover sold.
Birthday and Christmas gifts for my children and our family Kris Kringle- this is a need for the holiday spirit, cause Christmas is still really hard for me.
Gas for commuting, oil changes, and other car maintainance stuff
Life insurance
Charitable giving- I have routine financial donations I make, and will donate all the extra stuff- AKA crap- I have EVERYWHERE. My daughter may be right. HOARDERS may need a call...
My Emergency fund... it is sorely underfunded.
My retirement fund- 15% is coming off the top. I have lost too much ground to ignore my future planning.
What I'm NOT spending money on:
Books… I have plenty I have not read yet, but this still hurts...
Cards & Gifts - truth be told, I definitely have enough cards of all kinds to last a year... or ten... see Hoarders comment above...
Trinkets…AKA crap...There is a great deal of stuff that fits in this category...
New make-up, hair stuff- bands, elastics etc… This may belong with trinkets...AKA crap...
Eating out- no McDonalds, IHOP, Applebees… the list goes on but you get the idea...
Movies/DVDs… not even Harry Potter on DVD… Which would make such a good Christmas gift if someone wanted to buy me something...
Shoes…which usually is not a big deal for me… I can already feel people wrinkling their noses.
Bed linens/Towels/Houseware items… There is already too much stuff living in this house.
Decorative house stuff
Amazon.com… so expect their stock to PLUMMET during these 6 months
Cafeteria food… I spend a BOATLOAD of money in the cafeteria…
Poker…KILLING ME…
Now, several of you may have noticed I did not include debt repayment in my plan anywhere. This is because I am consumer debt free. Let me say that again:
I am consumer debt free.
I am writing checks this week to erase every outstanding balance. My only debt will be my mortgage.
I just cannot believe it.
Now I know some will ask- why fast if you are free? And the simple answer is... I have been debt free before. And I blew it. So the fast is about teaching me WANT from NEED. It is to teach me about SAVING as a priority. For too long, too many of us have not done enough to protect ourselves. I have had 3 people in my life search for work for over a year. It happens. And I need to be ready. Six months of expenses in an Emergency fund? I don't have 6 days. And that needs to change. Now is the time.
Friday, September 30, 2011
Wednesday, September 28, 2011
Ode to my Land Rover
My Land Rover Discovery SE7 joined my family in the fall of 2008. It had duel moon rooves, heated power front seats, 6 disk changer, and comfortably seated seven. It was midnight blue and had 59,000 miles on it when I purchased it for less than $15,000... Love at first sight... my Hot Ride. God it was beautiful!
We took it to New York, we took it to Gaitlinburg, and driving in the snow was pure joy. Did I mention the heated seats? Moon roof x 2? AWESOME stereo (although I may end up deaf as a result...)
As a kid, when I pictured myself driving across the plains of Africa, I was ALWAYS in a Land Rover.
It was a dream car...
2011 was not a good year for my Land Rover. Bad brakes, worn tires and teenager mess aside, it needed new head gaskets, and there was something up with the electrical system... Head gaskets were a HUGE expense, but brought the car back to life for a while. But Tom (who runs Forest Park Auto) warned me I was on borrowed time. He advised I get out of it as soon as I could. So I started to aggresively pay down the loan. On September 9th, I made my last payment.
The electric problem had me jumping the car on a really regular basis. I replaced the battery, and it still gave me problems. So Mike towed it (even though it started for him) and fixed the front brakes, and I was considering trading it in but I don't want another car loan right now, or the full coverage insurance required.
I also considered keeping it for a while... But even with the fixes, Tom's warning played in my mind... I was on borrowed time. So I decided to sell it while it still had some value.
Driving in for the appraisal, I remembered how much fun and life we had in my very hot ride. But it was time...
Behaving for the appraiser, the Land Rover served me well one last time. I got an offer for more than I thought I could from a dealer. And the car went to someone who can deal with any issues that arise. It is off my insurance today.
Let the celebration begin...
We took it to New York, we took it to Gaitlinburg, and driving in the snow was pure joy. Did I mention the heated seats? Moon roof x 2? AWESOME stereo (although I may end up deaf as a result...)
As a kid, when I pictured myself driving across the plains of Africa, I was ALWAYS in a Land Rover.
It was a dream car...
2011 was not a good year for my Land Rover. Bad brakes, worn tires and teenager mess aside, it needed new head gaskets, and there was something up with the electrical system... Head gaskets were a HUGE expense, but brought the car back to life for a while. But Tom (who runs Forest Park Auto) warned me I was on borrowed time. He advised I get out of it as soon as I could. So I started to aggresively pay down the loan. On September 9th, I made my last payment.
The electric problem had me jumping the car on a really regular basis. I replaced the battery, and it still gave me problems. So Mike towed it (even though it started for him) and fixed the front brakes, and I was considering trading it in but I don't want another car loan right now, or the full coverage insurance required.
I also considered keeping it for a while... But even with the fixes, Tom's warning played in my mind... I was on borrowed time. So I decided to sell it while it still had some value.
Driving in for the appraisal, I remembered how much fun and life we had in my very hot ride. But it was time...
Behaving for the appraiser, the Land Rover served me well one last time. I got an offer for more than I thought I could from a dealer. And the car went to someone who can deal with any issues that arise. It is off my insurance today.
Let the celebration begin...
Saturday, September 24, 2011
Day 5: Prayer: Jesus I say yes before I even know what your request will be today.
“Each of you should look not only to your own interests, but also to the interest of others. Your attitude should be the same as that of Christ Jesus.” (Philippians 2:4-5)
Thought: The more we know God, the more we want to say yes to Him. The more we say yes to Him the more we realize there are divine opportunities to participate in His activity all around us. As we participate in loving others like Jesus does, our attitude becomes more and more like Jesus.
Activity: Today let’s be other’s focused. Let’s ask God for opportunities to honor Him by looking to the interest of others. Let other people in line ahead of us. Let the conversations be about the other person. Make our focus giving rather than receiving.
My friend and I talked this week while she was grocery shopping- she remarked that somebody left coupons on the shelf of an item she was buying. She thought it was strange. I remarked that since I started really using coupons, I often had coupons for items I didn't use, and would leave them on the shelf for the next person buying the product. It was a small thing on my end, but I liked to think it would bring a small smile to someone- a little random act of kindness.
Shouldn't the world be full of these small things? And be a better place because of it?
Thought: The more we know God, the more we want to say yes to Him. The more we say yes to Him the more we realize there are divine opportunities to participate in His activity all around us. As we participate in loving others like Jesus does, our attitude becomes more and more like Jesus.
Activity: Today let’s be other’s focused. Let’s ask God for opportunities to honor Him by looking to the interest of others. Let other people in line ahead of us. Let the conversations be about the other person. Make our focus giving rather than receiving.
My friend and I talked this week while she was grocery shopping- she remarked that somebody left coupons on the shelf of an item she was buying. She thought it was strange. I remarked that since I started really using coupons, I often had coupons for items I didn't use, and would leave them on the shelf for the next person buying the product. It was a small thing on my end, but I liked to think it would bring a small smile to someone- a little random act of kindness.
Shouldn't the world be full of these small things? And be a better place because of it?
Friday, September 23, 2011
Day 4: Prayer: Jesus I want to follow hard after you.
“Teach me your way, O Lord, and I will walk in your truth; give me an undivided heart, that I may fear your name.” (Psalm 86:11)
Thought: Is there something dividing your heart and distracting you from seeing, hearing and knowing God more? Pray a courageous prayer. Ask God what is one distraction you could distance yourself from today to more fully embrace an awareness of Him? Is it facebook? Eating unhealthy foods? Soda? Needing attention from another person? A material possession? Whatever it is, spend a day fasting from your distraction.
Activity: Each time you think of what you’ve given up, use that as a trigger to pray Psalm 86:11.
"Give me the strenght to say goodbye and forgive myself the tears I cry..." I wrote those words over a decade ago, when I first learned I could love someone more than myself, put his needs before my own. They are ringing in my ears again...
Can it be time? Again God raises his voice.
Another opportunity to let go, move on, and know love sometimes means saying goodbye...
So today, this first new day, I will focus on the needs not the wants. I will start again the tasks I have let fall away. I will move forward. I will strive to do better for myself and my family. And I will patiently wait for guidance.
Thought: Is there something dividing your heart and distracting you from seeing, hearing and knowing God more? Pray a courageous prayer. Ask God what is one distraction you could distance yourself from today to more fully embrace an awareness of Him? Is it facebook? Eating unhealthy foods? Soda? Needing attention from another person? A material possession? Whatever it is, spend a day fasting from your distraction.
Activity: Each time you think of what you’ve given up, use that as a trigger to pray Psalm 86:11.
"Give me the strenght to say goodbye and forgive myself the tears I cry..." I wrote those words over a decade ago, when I first learned I could love someone more than myself, put his needs before my own. They are ringing in my ears again...
Can it be time? Again God raises his voice.
Another opportunity to let go, move on, and know love sometimes means saying goodbye...
So today, this first new day, I will focus on the needs not the wants. I will start again the tasks I have let fall away. I will move forward. I will strive to do better for myself and my family. And I will patiently wait for guidance.
Thursday, September 22, 2011
Day 3: Prayer: Jesus I want to know you.
“I keep asking that the God of our Lord Jesus Christ, the glorious father, may give you the Spirit of wisdom and revelation, so that you may know him better.” Ephesians 1:17.
Thought: I love the words, “I keep asking.” Persistence and consistency are key in our walk with the Lord. Ask the Lord many times today to give you the Spirit of wisdom and revelation so that you may know Him better. Make knowing Him the focal point of every prayer today… more than anything else you are asking for right now.
Activity: Write this verse on a card and carry it with you. Make a point to pray this verse out loud at least once during every hour you are awake today. Remember when you pray the word of God, you pray the will of God. God wants you to know Him better. Think about the difference this made in your day as you fall asleep tonight.
Wisdom and revelation would help today. I am struggling with my own words in my efforts to bring comfort to needy families today. I am aching for their pain, the suffering of their children. EB is wearing me down today... I may need to do a few days on this, my third day...
Thought: I love the words, “I keep asking.” Persistence and consistency are key in our walk with the Lord. Ask the Lord many times today to give you the Spirit of wisdom and revelation so that you may know Him better. Make knowing Him the focal point of every prayer today… more than anything else you are asking for right now.
Activity: Write this verse on a card and carry it with you. Make a point to pray this verse out loud at least once during every hour you are awake today. Remember when you pray the word of God, you pray the will of God. God wants you to know Him better. Think about the difference this made in your day as you fall asleep tonight.
Wisdom and revelation would help today. I am struggling with my own words in my efforts to bring comfort to needy families today. I am aching for their pain, the suffering of their children. EB is wearing me down today... I may need to do a few days on this, my third day...
Wednesday, September 21, 2011
Day 2: Prayer: Jesus I want to hear you.
“He wakens me morning by morning, wakens my ear to listen like one being taught. The Sovereign Lord has opened my ears and I have not been rebellious. (Isaiah50: 4b-5).
Thought: While I’ve never heard God’s audible voice, I do feel Him speaking to me. The best way I’ve found to start hearing the Lord’s whispers in my heart is by getting into His word and letting His word get into me. The more Scripture I memorize the more clearly I hear Him. Ask God to waken you in the morning so you can read the Bible first thing… before checking voicemail, email, and facebook… check in with God’s lifegiving truths.
Activity: Commit this week to not open your computer or turn on your cell phone before you’ve spent a few minutes reading the Bible, praying, and asking God to help you hear Him.
With the exception of my phone alarm- I will do this for the coming week. I am screening for God.
Thought: While I’ve never heard God’s audible voice, I do feel Him speaking to me. The best way I’ve found to start hearing the Lord’s whispers in my heart is by getting into His word and letting His word get into me. The more Scripture I memorize the more clearly I hear Him. Ask God to waken you in the morning so you can read the Bible first thing… before checking voicemail, email, and facebook… check in with God’s lifegiving truths.
Activity: Commit this week to not open your computer or turn on your cell phone before you’ve spent a few minutes reading the Bible, praying, and asking God to help you hear Him.
With the exception of my phone alarm- I will do this for the coming week. I am screening for God.
Tuesday, September 20, 2011
Day 1: Prayer: Jesus I want to see you.
Assignment from Lysa TerKeurst:
“Blessed are the pure in heart, they will see God.” (Matthew 5:8)
Thought: Remember a pure heart doesn’t mean a perfect person. If your pure intention is to see God, you will. While I can’t see the Lord’s physical form, I can see evidence of His activity all around me.
Activity: Ask God to open your eyes to the many things in your life that speak to His presence. Look for and record evidence of God around you. Today, start a thankful journal listing the many things around you for which you are thankful. It’s amazing, the more we recognize even the smallest things as gifts from God, the more we start to realize how present He is in our lives.
So my blessings and gifts from God... In no real order
The rain and cool days of fall after such a very hot summer (and did I mention my central air does not work?) Hot coffee and Halls for the tickle in my throat. My sweet son, who is growing up so very fast and yet still needs me. Our loving cat, my too far away daughter, the home I love (even if it needs a good vacuum...
Good friends, amazing collegues, work that is inspiring even when it breaks my heart... My sweet amazing baby sister, my family... kindness, laughter... the color in my life. Good books, hot tea, Zumba...
He is all around me.
“Blessed are the pure in heart, they will see God.” (Matthew 5:8)
Thought: Remember a pure heart doesn’t mean a perfect person. If your pure intention is to see God, you will. While I can’t see the Lord’s physical form, I can see evidence of His activity all around me.
Activity: Ask God to open your eyes to the many things in your life that speak to His presence. Look for and record evidence of God around you. Today, start a thankful journal listing the many things around you for which you are thankful. It’s amazing, the more we recognize even the smallest things as gifts from God, the more we start to realize how present He is in our lives.
So my blessings and gifts from God... In no real order
The rain and cool days of fall after such a very hot summer (and did I mention my central air does not work?) Hot coffee and Halls for the tickle in my throat. My sweet son, who is growing up so very fast and yet still needs me. Our loving cat, my too far away daughter, the home I love (even if it needs a good vacuum...
Good friends, amazing collegues, work that is inspiring even when it breaks my heart... My sweet amazing baby sister, my family... kindness, laughter... the color in my life. Good books, hot tea, Zumba...
He is all around me.
Friday, September 16, 2011
Week in Review
Friday, instead of going to the Hafla in Centerville Ohio, I dealt with my daughter’s bad car karma. Which means that I (with a great assist from Rick) jumped the Land Rover stranded on Route 4 (Mommy, you need a new battery…the guy told me). And can I say it started RIGHT up with NO hesitation. Made me wish I had tried jumping it myself before calling for back-up… cause I do not know how to change a battery.
Then it was off to the Monte (Mom, it is leaking gas). We brought a 5 gallon gas can and put in the gas. No leak. Best I can figure is she didn’t put the nozzle in all the way. God help me. At least the cars are all back at the house.
Saturday, I went to Zumba. Three people including the instructor, but such a good workout. LOVE Zumba.
Sunday was, as it has been for the ten years since, a sad day to reflect. Mass started with America the Beautiful, the goodbye breakfast at IHOP turned into a goodbye lunch at Panera when Liz was too tired to get up, and the Land Rover was dead again. I really hate that car.
Monday Liz was driven to the airport by her friend Regan. She flew to New York to start her life there. I did my first Body Sculpting class. I am not sure which hurt more.
Tuesday I weighed in and found out I am again in second place in this round of the Biggest Loser at work, and have in total lost over 23 pound since January. I did a test drive in a new civic (a girl can dream) and did my Cardio Dance Class cause Salsa was cancelled (cue sad face!). Then I went home and found out the Monte won’t start. Again.
Wednesday was belly-dancing and I was meant to be going back for a second round of Body Sculpting. Best laid plans. I stopped home for the hour layover to find my son, not feeling well and in serious need of snuggle time. As I snuggled him I opened the pile of neglected mail and found the pay- off letter on the Land Rover. What a good feeling!
Thursday after work, I filled up the Monte and it came back to life. My friends will test it out and may purchase it…Hooray. One less thing to worry about. And John and Ellen have a friend who is interested in some of my old furniture.
And today is Friday. The first night of skirt dancing. The first night of the weekend. I am a little sad they cancelled my line dancing class, but what can you do?
Then it was off to the Monte (Mom, it is leaking gas). We brought a 5 gallon gas can and put in the gas. No leak. Best I can figure is she didn’t put the nozzle in all the way. God help me. At least the cars are all back at the house.
Saturday, I went to Zumba. Three people including the instructor, but such a good workout. LOVE Zumba.
Sunday was, as it has been for the ten years since, a sad day to reflect. Mass started with America the Beautiful, the goodbye breakfast at IHOP turned into a goodbye lunch at Panera when Liz was too tired to get up, and the Land Rover was dead again. I really hate that car.
Monday Liz was driven to the airport by her friend Regan. She flew to New York to start her life there. I did my first Body Sculpting class. I am not sure which hurt more.
Tuesday I weighed in and found out I am again in second place in this round of the Biggest Loser at work, and have in total lost over 23 pound since January. I did a test drive in a new civic (a girl can dream) and did my Cardio Dance Class cause Salsa was cancelled (cue sad face!). Then I went home and found out the Monte won’t start. Again.
Wednesday was belly-dancing and I was meant to be going back for a second round of Body Sculpting. Best laid plans. I stopped home for the hour layover to find my son, not feeling well and in serious need of snuggle time. As I snuggled him I opened the pile of neglected mail and found the pay- off letter on the Land Rover. What a good feeling!
Thursday after work, I filled up the Monte and it came back to life. My friends will test it out and may purchase it…Hooray. One less thing to worry about. And John and Ellen have a friend who is interested in some of my old furniture.
And today is Friday. The first night of skirt dancing. The first night of the weekend. I am a little sad they cancelled my line dancing class, but what can you do?
Sunday, September 11, 2011
Ten years later...
On September 11, 2001, I lived in the Bronx with my husband and daughter, and was expecting my son. I worked in a special needs preschool near home and as a native New Yorker, I was quite at home in New York City.
My husband and my friend Paul Edson had left very early that day, heading north to Cooperstown and the baseball hall of fame. Liz was at St. Frances and would go to mass that morning.
It was primary day, so I voted before going to work.
What a beautiful day!
I had worked hard to collect and update contact information for parents and emergency contacts. I was sitting with a young man who's son was new to our school when we heard something was wrong... Manhatten shut down...One of the towers on fire... The Queens bus couldn't get over the bridge- it was closed...And Tracy, newly pregnant, got a call from Brent, her husband. The building was hit by a plane. They were evacuating... It was the last time they ever spoke.
I passed out my cards to all the teachers so they could start evacuating the children, and told the principal that I would get my daughter and return, to wait for all the children to be picked up. I knew with bridges closed it could be a long day, and that some parents just might not come home...
I went on local streets as all the highway entrances were blocked by patrol cars. And waited at the school till the kids came back from Mass. In looking back it was a blessing. Because I didn't see it live. I didn't see them fall...
I actually heard about the towers collapsing in the car after picking up Liz. And about the Pentagon... It wasn't until we were waiting at 5:30 with our last five students that I saw the footage that is now so familiar. I felt the vomit rise in my throat. As if I had been struck. It still feels like that.
Like everyone else, I prayed there were pockets, with survivors trapped. I prayed they were wrong about the number of missing firemen. And I will NEVER forget watching the mayor, live, in his dust covered suit, saying the losses of the day would be more than we could bear...
CNN unscrambled their cable feed, as all the local channels went black when the tower with all the antennas collapsed. I watched it non-stop. And saw the Palestinians cheer at the collapse of the towers...My blood boiled as my heart ached...
I wanted to go and dig for survivors. I was a nurse. I could help.
But I was a mother who's daughter was terrified. And I was a pregnant woman. I had no place on the pile.
The city that never sleeps shut down- schools were closed on September 12. There were no plays, no games, just the sound of military choppers and the air force jets on patrol. Deafening silence. And the smell of the burning pile 14 miles away would come to us as the wind shifted. And I watched CNN, still praying for miracles. And I cried. Like the rest of the world.
Time stood still. Over 300 firemen dead, 14 ESU cops dead, nearly 3000 dead.
Osama Bin Laden. HATRED raged in me. And overwhelming grief and pain and sadness.
Michael Lynch was missing. Dennis Mulligan was missing... The list of neighborhood people grew... The people I knew... Jay, Thomas, John, Ray...
But my brother in law Tommy was safe. And Billy B was safe. Pat and Colleen and Mike were safe... Dennis- Roe's fireman husband was safe...
And in time we went back to work and school. The rescue effort became a recovery effort. The funerals started. In October, Ray on Friday, Dennis on Saturday... Hundreds of firefighters...
Time passed.
And life happened. My baby was going to be a boy, my granny died, I got a rocking chair at my shower.
Michael's funeral was on the anniversary of Pearl Harbor. His Uncle, Cardinal McCarrick, who had confirmed all of us, said the mass...
We had flags everywhere. We were a country, a world united...
Then the US invaded Afganistan, where the Soviets fought for years before giving up...
On March 21st 2002 they found Michael's remains with those of the woman he shielded with his coat.
On April 25th 2002 they had Jay's funeral at Saint Patrick's Cathedral. God how I miss that crazy brave boy.
Time passed, less slowly...
And where are we now....
Sill in Afganistan, and Iraq too.
And it seems the Arab world is at war from within- no idea how that will turn out...
Bin Laden is dead.
Tracy had a girl and started a foundation in Brent's memory: http://www.woodallkids.org/
All the Lynch family help with Michael's foundation:
http://www.mlynch.org/
And my home is in Ohio now. My son is in 4th grade, my daughter graduated high school. We are far away from the city that is so much a part of who I still am. My past, my comfort, my family.
And I will never forget...
My husband and my friend Paul Edson had left very early that day, heading north to Cooperstown and the baseball hall of fame. Liz was at St. Frances and would go to mass that morning.
It was primary day, so I voted before going to work.
What a beautiful day!
I had worked hard to collect and update contact information for parents and emergency contacts. I was sitting with a young man who's son was new to our school when we heard something was wrong... Manhatten shut down...One of the towers on fire... The Queens bus couldn't get over the bridge- it was closed...And Tracy, newly pregnant, got a call from Brent, her husband. The building was hit by a plane. They were evacuating... It was the last time they ever spoke.
I passed out my cards to all the teachers so they could start evacuating the children, and told the principal that I would get my daughter and return, to wait for all the children to be picked up. I knew with bridges closed it could be a long day, and that some parents just might not come home...
I went on local streets as all the highway entrances were blocked by patrol cars. And waited at the school till the kids came back from Mass. In looking back it was a blessing. Because I didn't see it live. I didn't see them fall...
I actually heard about the towers collapsing in the car after picking up Liz. And about the Pentagon... It wasn't until we were waiting at 5:30 with our last five students that I saw the footage that is now so familiar. I felt the vomit rise in my throat. As if I had been struck. It still feels like that.
Like everyone else, I prayed there were pockets, with survivors trapped. I prayed they were wrong about the number of missing firemen. And I will NEVER forget watching the mayor, live, in his dust covered suit, saying the losses of the day would be more than we could bear...
CNN unscrambled their cable feed, as all the local channels went black when the tower with all the antennas collapsed. I watched it non-stop. And saw the Palestinians cheer at the collapse of the towers...My blood boiled as my heart ached...
I wanted to go and dig for survivors. I was a nurse. I could help.
But I was a mother who's daughter was terrified. And I was a pregnant woman. I had no place on the pile.
The city that never sleeps shut down- schools were closed on September 12. There were no plays, no games, just the sound of military choppers and the air force jets on patrol. Deafening silence. And the smell of the burning pile 14 miles away would come to us as the wind shifted. And I watched CNN, still praying for miracles. And I cried. Like the rest of the world.
Time stood still. Over 300 firemen dead, 14 ESU cops dead, nearly 3000 dead.
Osama Bin Laden. HATRED raged in me. And overwhelming grief and pain and sadness.
Michael Lynch was missing. Dennis Mulligan was missing... The list of neighborhood people grew... The people I knew... Jay, Thomas, John, Ray...
But my brother in law Tommy was safe. And Billy B was safe. Pat and Colleen and Mike were safe... Dennis- Roe's fireman husband was safe...
And in time we went back to work and school. The rescue effort became a recovery effort. The funerals started. In October, Ray on Friday, Dennis on Saturday... Hundreds of firefighters...
Time passed.
And life happened. My baby was going to be a boy, my granny died, I got a rocking chair at my shower.
Michael's funeral was on the anniversary of Pearl Harbor. His Uncle, Cardinal McCarrick, who had confirmed all of us, said the mass...
We had flags everywhere. We were a country, a world united...
Then the US invaded Afganistan, where the Soviets fought for years before giving up...
On March 21st 2002 they found Michael's remains with those of the woman he shielded with his coat.
On April 25th 2002 they had Jay's funeral at Saint Patrick's Cathedral. God how I miss that crazy brave boy.
Time passed, less slowly...
And where are we now....
Sill in Afganistan, and Iraq too.
And it seems the Arab world is at war from within- no idea how that will turn out...
Bin Laden is dead.
Tracy had a girl and started a foundation in Brent's memory: http://www.woodallkids.org/
All the Lynch family help with Michael's foundation:
http://www.mlynch.org/
And my home is in Ohio now. My son is in 4th grade, my daughter graduated high school. We are far away from the city that is so much a part of who I still am. My past, my comfort, my family.
And I will never forget...
Thursday, September 1, 2011
An Office with a Door
Today it became official. I have my own door. AND nobody lives in my office with me.
This is a really big deal here. NOBODY gets a private office. Except doctors and really senior executives.
And up till now, I worked in a cubicle.
Five years in a cubicle.
For the first three years I lived outside the office of Dr. Speakerphone, so named because he loved to A) leave his office door opened, and B) use speaker phone so he could work and not have to cradle the phone.
Did I mention he had a high octane voice that often filled our area? (And for me to say someone speaks loud…well, I am just saying…)
When we moved, (did I mention the hospital relocates divisions pretty regularly?) I got a more private cubicle with high walls that did not open onto the hallway. I had a resident behind me a couple of hours a day, but my alcove was quiet and removed. I was quite happy there.
I mean, I am the girl who worked on a mobile unit for 4 years. And it listed to curbside. And I lived in Guatemala…hard core, I am telling you.
There was the brief period in Yonkers where I had a private office large enough for a small table and yes, it did have a private bathroom AND a window…
God- that was pretty cushy, come to think of it…
But I digress…
I love my door- even though I mostly leave it open. I love my door even though I miss the girls being right behind me.
I love my new space and will, for as long as it takes to move me again…
Because this office is only mine temporary. Till we get our next faculty member.
But I am being so spoiled now.
Even without getting a window… Now a window would really be something... a girl can dream…
This is a really big deal here. NOBODY gets a private office. Except doctors and really senior executives.
And up till now, I worked in a cubicle.
Five years in a cubicle.
For the first three years I lived outside the office of Dr. Speakerphone, so named because he loved to A) leave his office door opened, and B) use speaker phone so he could work and not have to cradle the phone.
Did I mention he had a high octane voice that often filled our area? (And for me to say someone speaks loud…well, I am just saying…)
When we moved, (did I mention the hospital relocates divisions pretty regularly?) I got a more private cubicle with high walls that did not open onto the hallway. I had a resident behind me a couple of hours a day, but my alcove was quiet and removed. I was quite happy there.
I mean, I am the girl who worked on a mobile unit for 4 years. And it listed to curbside. And I lived in Guatemala…hard core, I am telling you.
There was the brief period in Yonkers where I had a private office large enough for a small table and yes, it did have a private bathroom AND a window…
God- that was pretty cushy, come to think of it…
But I digress…
I love my door- even though I mostly leave it open. I love my door even though I miss the girls being right behind me.
I love my new space and will, for as long as it takes to move me again…
Because this office is only mine temporary. Till we get our next faculty member.
But I am being so spoiled now.
Even without getting a window… Now a window would really be something... a girl can dream…
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