What I am thankful for...

Thanksgiving is one of those times where you can take a moment and consider all of Life's blessings. Things like:

Finishing all your Christmas shopping with over a month to go- even the work grab bag and the cousin who is IMPOSSIBLE to shop for (of course I got him in the family Christmas exchange.)

My cub scouts with whom I get to do cool stuff like go on Rumke dump tours and learn to carve stuff and toss ropes (if someone is drowning, I am not the person who should be throwing the life line)

Crazy social networking that lets me find the people I actually hung out with in grammar school and high school- virtual reunions full of big hair eighties photos and hilarious stories that are ever better in the retelling...

My house, the money pit castle I wouldn't trade... unless it was a really good trade...

I could go on...

But I wanted to take a moment to share the amazing list of true blessing in my life:

My children: I have two beautiful children, one practically a grown woman, the other a delightful little boy. My babies. I wonder at the time flashing past in a moment.

My siblings and their children: My sisters and brother are so much a part of me, and my nieces and nephews are like my own. They are far away only when judged by geography. They are always in my heart.

My Dad and Maureen: Dad has recovered well from the stroke last year and Maureen has been by his side. For this I am so thankful.

My extended family: I remember when I was younger, some people thought it strange that my cousins were who I went out with. The close knit family I grew up in is something I will always be grateful for. I am even more grateful now, as my family here in Ohio weave us into their lives.

My friends: Old and new, they are the time tested variety. They catch me when I am falling, hold my hand as the tears fall, and love me unconditionally, forever. We may not talk every day or week, but they are part of my soul.

The man that I love: He is strong and does because he can, not because he has to...He loves me anyway- even when I am high-strung, unhappy, broken, terrified, or sorrow-filled. Because let's face facts, it is easy when I am filled with joy and happiness. This man has staying power.

The work that I do: I work with some of the most amazing families. They face trials I cannot describe and pain I will never know, and daily work harder than any one person should have to... They inspire me with their bravery and I am in awe of their generosity and spirit. I am not saying the work is without difficulty, because on the darkest days of loss I grieve. But the community grieves with me, beside me- even thousands of miles away. EB has changed each of us.

This Thanksgiving, I am so thankful.

Happy Thanksgiving!

Advanced Directives

The nonprofit organization Engage With Grace is launching its third annual "blog rally" today to promote communication and critical thinking about end-of-life issues among family members and loved ones.

I cannot stress how important it is to talk about end of life decisions in advance. It can make such a huge difference to your family. I should know. Because my mother didn't.

My mother collapsed at work on December 20th, 2002. She was cardioverted twice before getting to the hospital. She was intubated and remained in a coma. I sat with her in the ER, was beside her when they moved her to CCU. I asked the nurse, a 20y veteran of Cardiac Care, and she advised me to prepare myself. I thank God for her honesty.

Mom was never alone. One of us was with her every moment round the clock. Nobody in our family is left alone.

On Sunday, the 22, my father signed to have Mom extubated. It was a decision all my siblings supported. It was excruciating. It broke my father's heart. He said it felt like he was killing her. My mother had no health care proxy, no living will. We all knew it was what she would want, but my father had to sign the order. As her husband, it was his responsibility.

Three days later, on Christmas night, with my sister Dee by her side, my mother died. The next few days were a blur- the wake, the funeral, the aftermath. Family flew in from Ireland, we chose to bury her with my father's parents, we had the funeral meal at Charlie's Inn. What needed to be done was done.

When things settled down, I talked about how important a Health Care Proxy is. Picking someone who will do what you want when you can't speak for yourself... And the best choice is not always your spouse, because of the emotional roller coaster they experience around you.

I talked about a living will- where you say what you do and don't want done if you can't make decisions anymore. Nobody needs to guess what you want or need. Nobody needs to agonize about making the wrong choice in their grief.

I have a Health Care Proxy. I have a living will. My proxy has copies of these vital documents. I know that nobody will be asked to make decisions on my behalf. I had the conversation with my loved ones.

It is not an easy conversation. But it is a necessary one. Give this gift to your family this holiday season.

Thanksgiving Recipes

Really, I know, I should have checked earlier- the pictures looked so nice and really, veggies, how hard could it be. See, I am bringing sweet sausage stuffed mushrooms and garlic cauliflower to my aunts, along with an oreo cookie cake and brownies. Easy, no fuss...

So I started my grocery list and checked the recipes. What in the world are Japanese breadcrumbs and Mascarpone cheese? I am a BIG cheese fan and have NEVER heard of Mascarpone cheese. I was married to an Italian fellow who's mother cooked amazing Italian food. Never heard of the stuff.

Now I have to go to Jungle Jim's to shop for ingredients. Jungle Jim's has every food known lined up in aisles by what country it is from. The store covers acres- and I have to go to several countries to get the stuff I need. How likely is it that Japan will be next to Italy? Which means I will be on a multi-country tour to get cheese and breadcrumbs.

And that means money. Because if I end up in Latin America, I will be getting the beans I love. England is where breakfast sausage lives... My mouth is already starting to water at the prospect.

Yes, I could stay strong and get only the two items on the list... if aliens replace me with a droid look alike, maybe. Did I mention they carry my favorite candy and the imported tea I LOVE...

Of course I could sub out these ingredients and avoid shopping at all, but what if everything ends up tasting terrible? I am not one of these crafty people who can just whip up something with what is on hand. I am a recipe girl. I preheat, flour and whip as told...I am not a creative chef AT ALL.

So I will go to Jungle Jim's, along with the other 200,000 individuals in the tri-state area hunting for some obscure item. And I will spend a boatload of money on treats and need a u-haul to get the stuff home...

Hopefully, everyone likes Japanese breadcrumbs and Mascarpone cheese.

Jimmy Johnson makes it five.

So today, Jimmie Johnson won the Sprint Cup series... Again. I know, some of the NASCAR die-hards are annoyed. But he was not a shoe in this time around. It was Denny's to lose and, boy, did he... Starting last week, and just unable to shake off his nerves. Harvick did his best, but yah, no.

I watched the mini series on HBO (when I still had HBO) with the run up to Daytona. It was really interesting to see him interact with his team, his wife and his crew chief Chad.

He and his wife talked about how they met and announced they were expecting... We got to see their beautiful home. We got to see Jimmy is a clothes horse (His closet may be bigger than my bedroom) and Chad has an AMAZING kitchen.

I love Chad making fun of Jimmie for wrecking a car in a 24 hour race a week after Jimmy said that sometimes he wins and sometimes he puts it in the wall on the first lap. The comment was along the lines that Jimmy had asked for it, saying such a thing out loud...

Then Jimmie had a crap race at Daytona- which happens often... He had to change out his crew cause they were screwing up... He had to come from behind...

Does he cheat- I wouldn't know, though Rick has said, "If you ain't cheatin', you ain't trying", clearly an old timer's take on NASCAR. (He is a Tony Stewart fan). So if cheating is really the norm, clearly he does it better than everyone else.

Love him or hate him... and LOADS of people hate him...he is the champion once more.