The Roaring 20's have arrived

I can’t believe tomorrow is 2020. Both of my children are graduating in the Spring, and as it looks now, both will be moving on to their grown up lives over the next 12 months. So hard to believe.

I also have new people coming to join my household. A single mom and her little girl will join my eclectic clan in February, until work on her house is completed.

I just snuck into New York and saw some of my family over the holidays- I always wish I had more time but it was wonderful to be together.

My father just celebrated his second Christmas on Hospice down in Florida.  It is hard to say goodbye from so far away. I pray for his peace.

Aad it is time now to recommit and say what I would like my 2020 year to look like:

I am still working the Dave Ramsey Plan. This multi-year project started in 2014 but it is my priority. After re-reading the Total Money Makeover, it is time to recommit to my dream of being debt free. I am going to be buying only things I need, and stop buying stuff I want but don’t need. Which experience has taught me is easier said than done.

How to start?

Simply,  I need to commit to packing my lunch instead of buying stuff in the cafeteria each day. Cooking at home and packing my lunch will save money and I will eat better.

I have to save more money- starting with restocking (again) my $1000 Emergency Fund and working on a promotion this Spring.

I will be borrowing books on Hoopla instead of buying them. And read off my shelves- I have YEARS worth of books in my house available.

There are also some things about me that need adjusting.

I need to partake in MUCH LESS social media. I need to spend a lot less time scrolling. Which means weekly check-ins rather than daily check-ins on Instagram and Facebook and much less time on computer games

I would like to be quieter and contemplative- I need to bring more silence to the world instead of sound.

I need to write EVERY DAY- the stories in my head need a home on the page. Projects started long ago need a finish date.

My work in progress: Do a better job of being a positive person: As “Dear Abby” says, “What is the kindest, most loving thing I can say or do at this particular moment?" 

This summer I want to grow vegetables and flowers outside and fill my house with plants inside. 

I will actively support charity more. Time to put my money where my mouth is!

Since there is so little time left, I need to spend more quality time with my children… I am taking them to Costa Rica so they can meet all (or most) of my Peace Corps family. Our first big family trip and I can’t wait.

I want to be content with my life as is- be me and be happy about it.

Do you have things to accomplish this year? I wish you luck with it. Happy New Year!

Nurses On The Inside: Stories Of The HIV/AIDS Epidemic In NYC

Nurses on the Inside: Stories of the HIV/AIDS Epidemic in NYC by Ellen Matzer & Valery Hughes

This book brought with it a flood of memories- Stat arterial blood gases on ice, before pulse oximetry, the big old plastic binders that were our patient charts, and of course all the beautiful, young people ravaged by this devastating disease in its early days.

The days before we had good med options…

The days before all the science was understood…

This is an amazing story of two heroes among many, who gave their lifeblood to serve these dying men and women.

A heartbreaking tribute. 

Hoopla

I have discovered Hoopla- a free library app that is basically lets me borrow audio-books- up to 6 a month. All you need is your local library card.

It is a miracle of modern technology- The biggest thing since I got an iPod in 2012. I still love my iPod.

So far I have listened to Ben Franklin's autobiography, which I wish I had know was unfinished, The Millionaire Next Door, which has some sage financial advise for all of us, The Good Neighbor (about Mr. Rogers), which could have been edited far more effectively than it was,  The Dutch Girl (about Audrey Hepburn in World War II),  and the Alice Network, which is easily the best book I have read in recent years.

My sixth book is one I have read before- The Diplomat's Wife by Pam Jenoff. 

There are dozens of cherished classics that I plan to listen to on my commutes to and from work. This is life-changing.

Six a month doesn't seem enough, but it is still a joy. I love books- they are visits to other worlds and I am diving in. 

20 years ago, my first son was born

My firstborn son and second child was born on May 16th, 1999.

We left the hospital two days later and after his parents dropped me home, the three of them went home to a wonderful life.

There was grief on my side for a long time, but never regret. But it is still not something my family talks about... At least not openly.

His folks have been great to me over the years and Facebook opened a new line of communication. He has a big family and is so loved- it is wonderful to know my decision was the best one for him.

In the past couple of years, he has been in touch, again via Facebook, with my daughter, and I got to meet him briefly when I took his Dad out to lunch. Best of all, God gave his Dad a miracle recovery from cancer that I am still grateful for everyday.

God is Good- Happy Birthday my sweet boy.

The Kelly-Mancuso philosophy of nursing

In the 1990's, I made my first unsuccessful attempt at Graduate School by enrolling in Hunter College. I wrote the following as part of one of the projects for my course Theoretical Foundations of Nursing Science in the Spring of 1996:

In conceptualizing my personal philosophy of nursing, I determined that person and health are the focal concepts of my nursing practice. The person is defined as a psycho-socio-cultural soul with a physical manifestation of body. Each of these elements of person is separate, but each is intertwined with the others, with the person being more than the sum of the elements involved.

The primary component of person is soul in that the soul of the person lives beyond the physical manifestation of body. An example of the overlap of the person elements is that the social and the cultural each include integrated ideals of religious and familial networks and support systems. Here I need to clarify the definition of family. It is not singular in meaning within the context of my nursing philosophy. In some situations the friendship network of the person can form an extended family, which can replace immediate family during crisis or due to dysfunction. In this event, the friend is as significant as a blood relative, if not more so.

The second of my focal concepts, health, is a relative term, differing from person to person. Health is defined by the person or between persons. It differs from physical body wellness. Health can exist without physical body wellness, as in the case of a controlled chronic illness. Physical body wellness can exist in the absence of health, as in clinical depression.

The nurse, who along with the client is person, has several roles. There is the role of facilitator between client and family and client and the health care team.

Client advocate is also an important role, in which the nurse supports the choices of the client. Elemental to a successful nurse's perspective is an openness to the differences that exist between societies, cultures, and religions. It is reasonable to disagree if there is respect for differences. In cases where a nurse is unable to put aside bias, there should be an active effort to work in an area that limits exposure to these clients, as an inability to identify with a client leaves the nurse ill-equipped to meet the client 's needs.

Within my philosophy, the difference between a person's physical body and a person's soul sets forth the idea that life continues beyond the physical body. Accordingly, death becomes not a termination of life, but a transitory point to another plane of existence, which cannot be explained. As Ross has stated, it can be compared to a caterpillar making the transition to butterfly. The world of a butterfly is beyond the comprehension of the caterpillar, yet, at the same time, is a world of new and different wonders. It is not possible to understand or imagine what is beyond the transition of death, which is frightening, but I believe there is a new place of wonder and new experiences awaiting the souls of this world.

It has been 23 years since I wrote this down, and it has guided me over the course of my Nursing life. As much as things have changed, I feel it still applies. Nursing is a part of me always. 

Happy Nurse's Week!

Brendan Thomas Kelly

Brendan (Dad) and Irene with Santa who has a striking resemblance to my grandfather but I am told by Dad was the Santa at McCleary's in Dublin.

December of 1946/7 is the date  according to himself.

He had spent the War years in Sligo with his Grandparents, as his folks were sure Hitler would bomb Dublin, either by mistake or design. He was 6 months old when they took him down to the farm, and he didn't return to Dublin till the war was over.

1st Christmas in America 1957: 

Irene, Brendan and Mary.

After arriving in the United States, Dad and Irene were up in the Catskills and were speaking with a woman from Ireland. She told the two she had been in America for over 15 years. The siblings looked at one another laughing:

"Sure, we'll never be here that long!"

Patrick, Brendan and Ned

Atop the Zugsplitz.

This is the first picture I ever saw of my father in uniform. He served in the US Army during the Vietnam years as a corpsman in Heidelberg. 

Brendan Kelly looking out over no-man's land

Berlin 1964/5

 Mom joined him in Germany after they married and they traveled to Berlin for a visit while assigned in Heidelberg. Mom headed to her parents' farm in Ireland to have Dee in Sept 1965 and Dad joined them there at the end of his service.

The family of three returned to the Bronx where I was born the following March.

In the Maher backyard in Blauvelt, Marion Maher is Dad's first cousin.

Easter morning in our new dresses with our new purses. Mom made the dresses and matching capes and Grandpa Kelly bought our purses and filled them with candy.

Dad in The Pilgrim Monument in Provincetown
 in Cape Cod 1973/74

This is dad outside the cabin we rented for the week at Cape Cod

Dad is holding baby Teresa- this was the 1976 visit to Fairfield Ohio. 

All the Kellys on Christmas day at 251

Family Portrait 1981 just in time for Christmas- I am wearing my confirmation dress.

Christmas 1989 

1993 was a good year. Ellen married Tommy and 251 Hollywood got new wall to wall carpeting.

  The Kelly family with Teresa and Dennis at Granny's apartment

               Mom, Irene, Dad and Granny

This is a picture of Eddie, Liz, Brendan, Ellen and Tommy 2008, when dad was in the Rehab center after his stroke. The stroke was the result of a plaque being loosened when he was having a heart stent placed.

May 2014, I stopped in to visit on my way back from Miami- I had gone down with Liz due to a family emergency.

Brendan and Victoria 2014 in front of the Florida homestead. Victoria has been Dad's home health aide for years.

2015 Visiting Jerry Nihan while I was on leave to take Dad for Radiation treatment. Dad had 9 weeks of therapy and we tried to keep his spirits up

May 2016- Eddie's Wedding in upstate New York- Dad walked with Sarah's mom down the aisle.

All the clan at Eddie and Sarah's wedding- a wonderful day

Today is Dad's 80th birthday so a thought I would share some of these memories.

Best Wedding ever

In 1994, I attended "THE BEST WEDDING EVER" when my sister married Tommy.

How can that be 25 years ago?

My sister found her dream dress and off the rack it fit like a glove. The fact that it cost less than my dress for the wedding still shocks me. But I loved my dress so it was totally worth it.

The place was amazing, the food was endless (though we danced so much most of us missed a few courses) and the music was inspirational.

We were surrounded by family and friends, old and new, and if I am being truthful, the party started the Wednesday before and didn't end till Monday morning.

It was an amazing night!

And the best was yet to come.

Happy Anniversary to both of you! 

Marjory Stoneman Douglas High School- one year on

On February 15, 2018, my daughter Liz wrote:

"Yesterday, In Cincinnati, my little brother had an assembly at school with the focus of creating awareness to prevent acts of violence against others and themselves.

& at the same time In Parkland, my little sister hid in her classroom as a shooter was on the loose.

The 24 hour news cycle will soon be up and there will be something new to talk about. However, if we continue to do the same thing, nothing, then we will end up with the same results. It’s not up to the next person to change things, it’s up to all of us."

On February 14, 2018, Marjory Stoneman Douglas High School in Parkland, Florida was the site of a school shooting that left 17 dead and 17 injured.  Hundreds more were like my daughter's little sister. 

Diana was a senior at the time, and getting ready to do a presentation when gunfire erupted. She and her classmates hid until they were evacuated by police.

Liz was frantic trying to get information after the story broke on the national news- she knew right away that it was the school Diana attended. Liz called me asking if I knew anything or had heard from anyone, because her brother, stepmom and father had not answered her calls. I had heard about the shooting but didn't know it was Diana’s school.

After a quick Facebook message to Vilma, we were able to confirm Diana was safe but it left me shivering. I cannot imagine how Vilma felt. How the parents of the injured felt. How the parents and families of the dead felt. Too much loss, such incredible suffering. And in my head was ringing...

Again.

It happened again.

This video was released in May

#MSDStrong #StoriesUntold