You are a stranger, from on-line or in an alley. You punish with your blade, a gun, a pipe, your hands. Forced to the cold ground, a hidden place, you injure her physically and emotionally for your pleasure.
You kill her soul, leaving her body a shell, her sweet heart broken in pieces too small to mend. She didn’t die… but in many ways is dead already.
But when you masquerade as a friend. Worse still.
You lurk in the shadows of her life. Bide your time. Waiting to betray. Waiting for a time when her guard is down. When she trusts you like family and lets you in her home. Or when she is vulnerable, and lies heartbroken and upset. Or when having fun means too much and inebriation presents your opportunity. When she does not or cannot say yes, you take.
Because you can.
Because you have the power.
And you make it her fault. She asked for it. Look at the clothes she wears. Look at how she behaves. She deserved it because she drank. She deserved it because she paints her face in rich colors. She flirted. She was high… You tell her others will be on your side. …A million stories to justify the crime you committed against her. You isolate her in her pain
LIAR!
I see you.
I know you… And I hate what you do.
I HATE YOU!
How you teach them to blame themselves. To doubt themselves. To protect you with their silence.
But I know the truth. You are weak so you can’t fight fair. You are a shadow of a person.
Pure Evil!
You will fail. You will help me find you. Because we will fight back in united voices. What you do is not right. What you do is not fair. What you do is a crime. Against them. Against all of us.
You will be punished.
I am Justice. And I will be served!
Tuesday, August 30, 2011
Saturday, August 27, 2011
From A Clear Blue Sky by Timothy Knatchbull
On August 27, 1979, a bomb of the IRA exploded on a boat off the coast of Mullaghmore, Co Sligo.
Killed that day were:
Lord Louis Mountbatten, 79, great grandson of Queen Victoria.
Nicholas Knatchbull, 14, Timothy's twin brother.
Paul Maxwell, 15, a boy from Enniskillin who was hired to look after the boat.
Lady Doreen Brabourne, 83, died the day after the attack from her injuries.
Timothy Knatchbull survived, along with his parents and the world was outraged. Timothy wrote about the bombing decades later, returning to the place where he and his brother were lost to each other.
An amazing letter that he received from the Irish coronor in Sligo is included in his account. Dr. Desmond Moran urged him, even in those early days, to be the example to the civilized community and future generations.
On leaving Ireland when he was medically stable, Timothy vowed to return to Ireland. What a horrifying thought for his poor parents!
But over the decades, the world changed. Ireland changed. And Timothy did go back. He found what he was missing. He healed.
Killed that day were:
Lord Louis Mountbatten, 79, great grandson of Queen Victoria.
Nicholas Knatchbull, 14, Timothy's twin brother.
Paul Maxwell, 15, a boy from Enniskillin who was hired to look after the boat.
Lady Doreen Brabourne, 83, died the day after the attack from her injuries.
Timothy Knatchbull survived, along with his parents and the world was outraged. Timothy wrote about the bombing decades later, returning to the place where he and his brother were lost to each other.
An amazing letter that he received from the Irish coronor in Sligo is included in his account. Dr. Desmond Moran urged him, even in those early days, to be the example to the civilized community and future generations.
On leaving Ireland when he was medically stable, Timothy vowed to return to Ireland. What a horrifying thought for his poor parents!
But over the decades, the world changed. Ireland changed. And Timothy did go back. He found what he was missing. He healed.
Friday, August 26, 2011
Jennifer Levin
Twenty five years ago, on August 26, 1986, 18-year-old Jennifer Levin was killed by Robert Chambers after they left their local bar Dorrian's Red Hand, located at 300 East 84th Street.
Levin's strangled, half-naked corpse, covered in bruises, bite marks, and cuts, was found by a cyclist just after 6am, lying beneath an elm tree on a grassy knoll near Fifth Avenue and 83rd Street, behind the Met. Chambers watched the emergency crew response while sitting on a wall nearby.
He, assisted by his attorney, smeared Jennifer’s name and reputation. She like it rough…she kept a sex diary… awful, cruel and wrong on so many levels…like killing her wasn’t enough. He tortured her family with his lies and drama…
I remember her dying- the horrible things they said… and thinking I was not so different than her… I was 19, hung out at the bars of the Irish West side in the Bronx, how my cousin and our friends stayed after closing, and though we were underage, we were served…
That changed after Jennifer, for a little while. We were more careful… less care-free. And there was a new rule- If we went out together, we went home together- it did not matter who the guy was… throughout college it was my rule.
It still is…
By the time the “Preppy Murder” went to trial in 1988, doubts about Jennifer and her lifestyle had been everywhere.
The jury was deadlocked for nine days and so a plea bargain was struck. Robert Chambers pleaded guilty to manslaughter in the first degree (a Class B felony), and to one count of burglary (a Class C felony) for his thefts in 1986. He was sentenced to serve 5 to 15 years, with the sentence for burglary being served concurrently. So the scumbag got away with murder…
He served the whole 15 years because of the drugs and other prison infractions…
Chambers was released from Auburn Prison on February 14, 2003.
He was unchanged… Still a scumbag…
On October 22, 2007 Chambers was arrested again, this time in his girlfriend’s apartment, and charged with three counts of selling drugs in the first degree, three counts of selling drugs in the second degree and one count of resisting arrest.
On August 11, 2008, the Manhattan DA's office announced that Chambers had pleaded guilty to selling drugs. On September 2, 2008, he was sentenced to 19 years on the drug charge.
Could not have happened to a better person.
Rest in Peace, Jennifer Levin.
Levin's strangled, half-naked corpse, covered in bruises, bite marks, and cuts, was found by a cyclist just after 6am, lying beneath an elm tree on a grassy knoll near Fifth Avenue and 83rd Street, behind the Met. Chambers watched the emergency crew response while sitting on a wall nearby.
He, assisted by his attorney, smeared Jennifer’s name and reputation. She like it rough…she kept a sex diary… awful, cruel and wrong on so many levels…like killing her wasn’t enough. He tortured her family with his lies and drama…
I remember her dying- the horrible things they said… and thinking I was not so different than her… I was 19, hung out at the bars of the Irish West side in the Bronx, how my cousin and our friends stayed after closing, and though we were underage, we were served…
That changed after Jennifer, for a little while. We were more careful… less care-free. And there was a new rule- If we went out together, we went home together- it did not matter who the guy was… throughout college it was my rule.
It still is…
By the time the “Preppy Murder” went to trial in 1988, doubts about Jennifer and her lifestyle had been everywhere.
The jury was deadlocked for nine days and so a plea bargain was struck. Robert Chambers pleaded guilty to manslaughter in the first degree (a Class B felony), and to one count of burglary (a Class C felony) for his thefts in 1986. He was sentenced to serve 5 to 15 years, with the sentence for burglary being served concurrently. So the scumbag got away with murder…
He served the whole 15 years because of the drugs and other prison infractions…
Chambers was released from Auburn Prison on February 14, 2003.
He was unchanged… Still a scumbag…
On October 22, 2007 Chambers was arrested again, this time in his girlfriend’s apartment, and charged with three counts of selling drugs in the first degree, three counts of selling drugs in the second degree and one count of resisting arrest.
On August 11, 2008, the Manhattan DA's office announced that Chambers had pleaded guilty to selling drugs. On September 2, 2008, he was sentenced to 19 years on the drug charge.
Could not have happened to a better person.
Rest in Peace, Jennifer Levin.
Thursday, August 25, 2011
No room at 10 year anniversary...
So I am totally pissed off...
http://www.cnn.com/2011/US/08/16/new.york.911.memorial/index.html
It should be noted- nobody invited FDNY, EMS and NYPD first responders on 9-11-2001. Yet they did all they could, many making the ultimate sacrifice, to help evacuate the towers.
I am angry... sad... hurt...
For the surviving responders to not have a place is just wrong.
I just have no words...
http://www.cnn.com/2011/US/08/16/new.york.911.memorial/index.html
It should be noted- nobody invited FDNY, EMS and NYPD first responders on 9-11-2001. Yet they did all they could, many making the ultimate sacrifice, to help evacuate the towers.
I am angry... sad... hurt...
For the surviving responders to not have a place is just wrong.
I just have no words...
Tuesday, August 23, 2011
The summer is ending...
So since I totally bombed the spending fast in August, I have decided to restart on September 1st...I guess it is just like smoking. You think you can quit any time and find out, yeah, not so much... A shout out to my dear cousin Margie who is in the process of quitting cancer sticks...I am so proud of her.
Technically, my summer ended today, as my son started school this morning. But my pool is still open and dance classes have another week in summer session B, so I am holding onnto summer with both hands.
I am lining up what classes to take this fall, still belly dancing twice a week and salsa once a week and Zumba, certainly... But to shake things up, I am considering adding Body sculpting before Zumba on Saturdays and Spinning twice a week... I have until tomorrow to decide.
I have had my annual physical and was taken off 2 BP meds, so that was big news. Only one to go.
I found out that the Catholic Mass is changing, come Advent... Just when you get the whole Mass down, they want to have it be an exact translation...from Latin... I see stormy weather ahead for the part time Catholics of the world.
It is a time of transition right now. And while change can be good in the end, sometimes it is challenge getting there. So for those amoung you who pray, I ask for a prayer of peace and acceptance. Because even when God raises his voice, I can be stubborn and tune out the message.
And for those who felt the earth shake today- I am glad it was a talking point, not a tragedy.
Technically, my summer ended today, as my son started school this morning. But my pool is still open and dance classes have another week in summer session B, so I am holding onnto summer with both hands.
I am lining up what classes to take this fall, still belly dancing twice a week and salsa once a week and Zumba, certainly... But to shake things up, I am considering adding Body sculpting before Zumba on Saturdays and Spinning twice a week... I have until tomorrow to decide.
I have had my annual physical and was taken off 2 BP meds, so that was big news. Only one to go.
I found out that the Catholic Mass is changing, come Advent... Just when you get the whole Mass down, they want to have it be an exact translation...from Latin... I see stormy weather ahead for the part time Catholics of the world.
It is a time of transition right now. And while change can be good in the end, sometimes it is challenge getting there. So for those amoung you who pray, I ask for a prayer of peace and acceptance. Because even when God raises his voice, I can be stubborn and tune out the message.
And for those who felt the earth shake today- I am glad it was a talking point, not a tragedy.
Sunday, August 21, 2011
Changes
" Goodbyes are not forever. Goodbyes are not the end.
They simply mean I'll miss you until we meet again!”
Unknown
Sometimes doing what is morally just is heartbreaking. Sometimes walking away is the only way. Sometimes being a good person leaves you crying, but you do what is right anyway. You walk away and try hard not to look back.
I am reminded of Judy Garland singing, "And you smile even though your heart is breaking...even though your soul is aching..."
Sometimes being friends that hang out just isn't possible. And sometimes being friends means walking away and wishing each other well.
I miss you already.
They simply mean I'll miss you until we meet again!”
Unknown
Sometimes doing what is morally just is heartbreaking. Sometimes walking away is the only way. Sometimes being a good person leaves you crying, but you do what is right anyway. You walk away and try hard not to look back.
I am reminded of Judy Garland singing, "And you smile even though your heart is breaking...even though your soul is aching..."
Sometimes being friends that hang out just isn't possible. And sometimes being friends means walking away and wishing each other well.
I miss you already.
Wednesday, August 10, 2011
Spinning
So I went to a Spinning class... Overweight and SO out of shape, dance classes aside... It sort of happened by accident.
The spinning class last Saturday started late... and Zumba was cancelled when the sub didn't show, so we all ended up with the Spinning instructor in the parking lot and got to chatting.
She said we could do it...She said we should try it...she convinced us it was worth a shot...
So after belly-dancing and dinner at my house, Lindsey and I went to Spinning.
Which is riding a stationary bike to the 10th power... and to GREAT music...
I had an awesome workout... I felt great...
And two days later, my bum is still sore.
Class is at 8:15 tonight and I can't wait.
The spinning class last Saturday started late... and Zumba was cancelled when the sub didn't show, so we all ended up with the Spinning instructor in the parking lot and got to chatting.
She said we could do it...She said we should try it...she convinced us it was worth a shot...
So after belly-dancing and dinner at my house, Lindsey and I went to Spinning.
Which is riding a stationary bike to the 10th power... and to GREAT music...
I had an awesome workout... I felt great...
And two days later, my bum is still sore.
Class is at 8:15 tonight and I can't wait.
Thursday, August 4, 2011
Failing to plan...
I have spent $14 dollars in two days on items I did not include on my list...
$10 on Tuesday to Liz- she wanted to go to the movies and while I have a free pass from my last movie, I could not find it... And forgot the spending fast until after I gave the money to her... oops...
Then today I forgot my lunch... And I need to eat my meals- so says my RD, who I spent an hour with yesterday...
I guess there will be days like these.
Bah humbug!
$10 on Tuesday to Liz- she wanted to go to the movies and while I have a free pass from my last movie, I could not find it... And forgot the spending fast until after I gave the money to her... oops...
Then today I forgot my lunch... And I need to eat my meals- so says my RD, who I spent an hour with yesterday...
I guess there will be days like these.
Bah humbug!
Wednesday, August 3, 2011
Psalm 34:18
The LORD is close to the brokenhearted and saves those who are crushed in spirit. Psalm 34:18
God has a way of raising his voice when I am sad. When I feel all broken in pieces. When I am so lonely and my soul aches.
Or maybe I am just more aware of His efforts when I am so needy.
So, as hard as it is for me to believe, it has been six months since I was part of a "we". I am not looking for someone to take over the other half of my "we" at present, but I do still miss the feeling of it...the safety... the love... the support...
But God is with me...holding my hand... wiping away those tears that still cascade on the difficult days...
I have not moved on, but I have moved forward.
I am dieting, dancing, and going to Mass- building on my relationship with God. I am making an effort to do a better job guiding my teenager, instead of always critizing... I am making an effort to live up to my resolution of decluttering my home...
Progress... one little step at a time.
I have come a long way since February...but I feel I still have a really long way to go...
And now a spending fast...focused on needs instead of the wants we always seem so focused on...
Every Journey begins with a first step...
God has a way of raising his voice when I am sad. When I feel all broken in pieces. When I am so lonely and my soul aches.
Or maybe I am just more aware of His efforts when I am so needy.
So, as hard as it is for me to believe, it has been six months since I was part of a "we". I am not looking for someone to take over the other half of my "we" at present, but I do still miss the feeling of it...the safety... the love... the support...
But God is with me...holding my hand... wiping away those tears that still cascade on the difficult days...
I have not moved on, but I have moved forward.
I am dieting, dancing, and going to Mass- building on my relationship with God. I am making an effort to do a better job guiding my teenager, instead of always critizing... I am making an effort to live up to my resolution of decluttering my home...
Progress... one little step at a time.
I have come a long way since February...but I feel I still have a really long way to go...
And now a spending fast...focused on needs instead of the wants we always seem so focused on...
Every Journey begins with a first step...
Tuesday, August 2, 2011
Day two...
Obviously I will not track everyday, but to give folks an idea of money spent, or not spent, as the case may be, I will select days and share the expenses... So I bought 8.24 gallons of gas, and paid $4 for parking today...
$34 dollars...
Seems like a lot for a day... Hopefully it is a lot for one day... If not, I am in trouble...
In other news, I had a business dinner last night, missing belly-dancing and going WAY over my calories for the day, and had a business lunch today... I might be able to stay on my calorie count if I don't eat again till Thursday, but who am I kidding? I really feel like I have taken in more calories in the last two days than I have had over the last week...not good... Starting over tomorrow...
$34 dollars...
Seems like a lot for a day... Hopefully it is a lot for one day... If not, I am in trouble...
In other news, I had a business dinner last night, missing belly-dancing and going WAY over my calories for the day, and had a business lunch today... I might be able to stay on my calorie count if I don't eat again till Thursday, but who am I kidding? I really feel like I have taken in more calories in the last two days than I have had over the last week...not good... Starting over tomorrow...
Monday, August 1, 2011
Spending Fast Day 1
Okay- doesn't hurt yet. I packed my breakfast and lunch today- no worries.
I have a business dinner tonight, so I am missing belly-dancing... which means the treadmill tonight, but what can you do?
Did grocery shopping last night- saved $19 dollars using coupons on stuff I buy all the time- How happy am I?
I advised my daughter about the spending freeze- needless to say, she does not LOVE the idea... But I filled up her gas tank this weekend and took her out to lunch- a last big splurge befor the fast... Our own fat Tuesday...
Oh and to my health and fitness pals- I ordered the lime chicken at Applebee's and to my absolute HORROR, discovered later that it is OVER 1100 calories!! And it is a Weight Watcher's choice...
So not happy... but what is done is done...
I have a business dinner tonight, so I am missing belly-dancing... which means the treadmill tonight, but what can you do?
Did grocery shopping last night- saved $19 dollars using coupons on stuff I buy all the time- How happy am I?
I advised my daughter about the spending freeze- needless to say, she does not LOVE the idea... But I filled up her gas tank this weekend and took her out to lunch- a last big splurge befor the fast... Our own fat Tuesday...
Oh and to my health and fitness pals- I ordered the lime chicken at Applebee's and to my absolute HORROR, discovered later that it is OVER 1100 calories!! And it is a Weight Watcher's choice...
So not happy... but what is done is done...
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