Thanksgiving

In this year I have so much to be thankful for:

1. healthy children- until you are in my line of work you really don't realize how important that really is...
2. a loving man... Rick is good to me and for me. It is like I was waiting for him my whole life.
3. a nice home- True, work remains to be done and the values have slipped, etc, but I love my home (even though it comes with too much grass) and think it is perfect for right now.
4. good friends- The ones who cry with you, the ones who help see you through, the ones who call in the middle of the night cause they were thinking of you, the ones you have known forever and the ones you have yet to meet- Friends brighten the fabric of my life.
5. rewarding work- while I hate that children suffer from this disease I cannot stand, and their parents have to struggle through even the simple things, I cannot imagine being able to make a bigger impact.
6. a wonderful family- My dad- who has major surgery and thinks it is no big deal, my sister who is the best mother I will ever know, my siblings, my cousins who are as close as siblings, my aunt and uncle who made me a part of their family long ago, my 92 year old globe-trotting granny who shows us all what living should be, my mom in heaven who is deeply missed, regardless of being in a far better place

The recession, the trials, and the disappointments don't change the fact that I am blessed.

I am going to the mountains for a few peaceful days with my extended family and Rick asked what I wanted to do while we were there. It is funny- I don't want to do anything or go anywhere. I just want to be with my family and relax, eat good food and play Trivial Pursuit, Scattegories, and a little Poker. I want to watch "Miracle on 34th Street", have pumpkin pie, and enjoy good company. But maybe a short trip to the pottery place and the carved wood place...Christmas is coming after all...

I will miss my kids who are spending the holiday with their NY branch of the family. Because of their absence, it will not be a perfect weekend. But it will be a good time had by all.

Happy Thanksgiving!

Bring on the holidays

So what does a bad week look like?

Maybe it is a problem with a co-worker. Or not getting a raise because of the economy. Perhaps you were sick, or got sad news. It is possible you were disappointed about something or someone.

It was just one of those weeks…

I know how you feel.

I had one of THOSE weeks where the news went from bad to worse. And I was sad.

So what is a girl to do...I cried on a friend’s shoulder, I ate chocolate, drank amazingly good Irish tea (I am a tea snob even when I am down) and watched a new DVD.

Actually it was a compilation of old Christmas episodes of things like Bewitched, The Flying Nun and Father knows best, with a The Donna Reed Show thrown in for good measure.

Don’t get me wrong- even for me this was an early start to the Christmas rush. I normally start on the weekend of Thanksgiving. But I needed a little Christmas…and it worked.

That doesn’t mean that my unemployed loved ones have found new jobs yet… and I am still not getting a raise, but for just a couple of hours it was nice to visit a time where TV was ridiculously sentimental, men dressed and looked dapper, women had perfect hair and make-up, and reality was completely absent.

And I laughed.

Our Military

I never met Robert Gherman in person, but we corresponded while organizing care for a little boy in a war zone. He was a battalion surgeon in Iraq, and I was thousand of miles away in Cincinnati. I put him in touch with some physicians who could assist him, and sent supplies for him to give this little boy who had been without medical care.

A drop in the bucket?

Not to the boy's family.

There is a goodness in our military that seems to go unnoticed. Dr. Gherman was an OB/GYN in the States, and put his life on hold to serve. And he is not the only one. I am sure there are thousands of stories out there.

So tonight and tomorrow I will be praying for all our men and women in the armed services. Won't you join me? On Vetern's day, they deserve our thanks. Freedom is not free.

Dad

I spent time today thinking about the differences between me and my father as far as mind set goes.

He went to a Cardiologist last year who said he was a poor surgical risk and came home saying he didn’t need surgery. He takes his Coumadin when he thinks he needs it. He thinks hospice providers kill their patients- in a nice gentle way…

I used to try and correct the misconceptions… a pointless endeavor, I assure you…

So today. My father went in for a “dye test” this afternoon, according to my non-medical sister. She says they are going in his groin to look at his heart. He left me a message on Friday he was getting tests, no explanation as to type…

So I called him after talking to my sister, cause I recognize a cardiac cath when it is described to me. He confirms that this is in fact what he is having done.

Did I mention he took the Express Bus into the city to get to the hospital and that he was there alone?

He told me it was no big deal… but I know better. He could need a stent, open heart surgery…complications include strokes… I was a wreck.

All day I waited, and since I have family and friends who are big praying people, I put Dad on their lists.

At around 6:30pm, I got word from my sister that dad had two stents and was resting in his room. Eddie is with him and he will go home tomorrow.

No big deal.

Rick put it to me that saying it was no big deal might be how Dad keeps stuff from becoming a big deal.

I love you, Dad.

Airport Security

I recently travelled to New York and it was smooth sailing all the way- I am a seasoned traveller, so this is not unusual, but even for me there have been issues.

Last year, I had to fly to Vienna, Va, outside of Wash. DC- which meant hopping a flight out of Dayton, a 45 minute drive, at 7:30am on a Sunday morning and changing planes in Cincinnati, because getting on the plane in Cincinnati was TWICE the price.

So I was up at 4:30am, in order to drop off my son and get to the airport an hour in advance. Still dark out, it was freezing and pouring rain... Of course...

I parked in long term parking and have to walk miles to the terminal- no shuttles at Dayton.

I waited in an unreasonably long line for a Sunday at 6:30am, (because, really, any line on a Sunday at 6:30am is unreasonable) and on checking in discovered they want $25 for my second bag (this was when this change first happened on Delta- little did I know I would soon be paying for every bag) - so I have to repack- putting all contraband in the checked luggage and planning to carry on the second bag. Finally the bag is properly tagged and I am asked for my ID...which I do not have...the space for my license is empty. I had been asked for ID at the bank the day before and removed it...and did not replace it...My flight leaves in 45 minute, but closed out in half an hour. I call a friend who gets hold of my passport...but there is no way to get it to me in time. I figure I am completely out of luck...

The ticket agent spots a document with the Ohio state seal- my car registration- she calls the gate...they deem it acceptable..

Seriously! I am not making this up...

My registration. For my car...Not one form of photo ID. And they let me on the plane. Granted I was patted down and they searched my bags and tested them for explosives...but I made my plane. My friend- after another few hours sleep...it is Sunday after all...will FedEx my passport so I can come back on Monday... Sounds good, right?

Did you know FedEx doesn't actually go anywhere on Sunday...So coming home I had a faxed copy of the front page of my passport...which does not have my married name...and, of course the car registration- the ticket agent in DC was clearly shocked I had ever gotten on the plane to come to the capitol of our great nation in the first place.

On arriving in my office in Cincinnati the following morning, I called the New York office as it was the first day to touch base with my new boss, Mary- she had started the day before...I mentioned the challenges of my journey to one of the lovely ladies in our office, so Mary heard my tale... She thinks I am Wonder Woman- clearly she's never seen me in high heel red boots and leggings...

Clearly I look nothing like anyone on the watch lists... And someone had my back!

Experiencing Emily

Today, my son began indoor soccer at the local YMCA. One of the boys on the team is different- special...He is like my niece Emily. I thought it was wonderful that this boy was included and I remembered...

The first time I saw Emily, she was wrapped up in a hospital blanket, her cute face peeking out. He father was holding her, and my sister, my cousin and I all began to cry at once, overwhelmed at the miraculous joy of seeing her. Elle was a mother. My little sister was a Mommy now. Amazing.

The spontaneous tears surprised Tom and Elle. They surprised me. I guess it just proves that, though many people have children, each one is a miracle. Each one represents a lifetime of dreams that parents hope will be reached.

Emily is a special child. She has autism. She has delays and deficits in many areas. There are things she can’t do yet, things she doesn’t understand. It is not the result of an injury or illness. Traditional medicine has no answer to the question why.

Emily developed normally for about a year. Her folks noticed it appeared she didn’t always hear them, so her hearing was tested. Then I started to notice small things. Things she wasn’t doing that most children could at her age. But kids hit milestones at different times. A little delay was not of major concern. Her doctor thought she would catch up.

I remember telling Elle I thought there was a problem. I hated myself for even thinking something was wrong. But I was a pediatric nurse, and knew that the sooner Emily was evaluated, the better. Hopefully I would be wrong.

Elle asked me that day what the worst-case scenario would be.

“Autism”

The diagnosis that confirmed the suspicions came from a neurologist several months later. Now we knew “what”. We still don’t know “why”.

Ellen never smoked, drank or did drugs. She had prenatal care. Emily went for all her check-ups. And she was a healthy baby.

How could this not break your spirit?

Elle and Tom do an amazing job with Emily. But it is seven days a week, twenty-four hours a day. Tommy, a police detective, has a second job to help ends meet. Ellen is at home with Emily and her little brother and sister, full-time.

Together they are impressive. I am in awe of my sister’s patience. I see it every day I see her. What is it like to have an autistic child? I can only share the glimpses I get when I baby-sit for Ellen on the rare occasion that she goes out without her kids.

Some nights are easy. Emily has even fallen asleep on my shoulder, while playing with my hair. There are nights when I am able to understand what she wants, because she is pointing to the pictures on the fridge. I have even gotten a kiss and hug.

Small things. But huge events in the life of an autistic child.

The other days are hard. Because Emily cannot speak, I sometimes don’t know how to help her. I don’t know if she is hungry, tired, or frustrated. Sometimes she gets overloaded, from noise or other stimulus, and she cries and I don’t know how to take the pain away. It is a helpless sensation, for a child to be so upset and to not know the cause.

The hardest thing to watch is when she scratches away on both sides of her nose, until she bleeds, and to not know how to stop her. To watch this beautiful child who is locked away hurt herself… I want to help, but don’t know how.

I watch the kids for a couple of hours. Elle and Tom are with them all the time. I can’t begin to imagine how hard it is.

We hope for real progress in battling Emily’s autism. We are starting to dream for her future. Do we expect a miracle- no. But wouldn’t it be something to have this beautiful child released into our world, rather than trapped in her own?

Girlie Girl- what is in my bag

So in honor of my first follower, Abby, I thought I would take a stab at a girlie- girl post and read what other people were talking about and comment on that. This one was fun:

Purple Lab Founder Karen Robinovitz Shares the Contents of Her Bag By Michelle Halpern October 29, 2009

http://www.stylecaster.com/news/6074/purple-lab-founder-karen-robinovitz-shares-the-contents-of-her-bag/UTIMY1RiUjACag==

The story of how Karen Robinovitz, began her career in the beauty business is unique. (You can read the story in the article)

Here are the items she carries in her bag along with my comments and personal choices.

1. RCA Small Wonder camera, $130:

a. Okay- as someone who only joined the digital photo age ten minutes ago, I am impressed I carry a Kodak in the purse- video and Youtube may be decades away. Now if only I can remember to keep the thing charged…

2. Goody Ouchless Hair Elastics, $2.99:

a. Excellent choice- I may start doing this.

3. Louis Vuitton Epi Leather wallet :

a. Yeah- Louis and I have yet to meet in person- but I carry a handmade green leather wallet given to me by a doctor I work with. She bought it in Chile and I LOVE it.

4. Kate Somerville Protect 55 Serum, $45

a. SPF all the way- any way you can- did I mention the doctor was a dermatologist? Remember to reapply.

5. Eve Lom hand cream, $35

a. $35 for hand cream? I use Dove Moisturizing Cream for sensitive skin- it fits my price range.

6. Huge Lips Skinny Hips lip gloss in Worship Kate, $20:

a. Yeah, no…though if I got some as a gift I would totally do a trial run

7. Huge Lips Skinny Hips lip gloss in Love Your Thighs, $20:

a. 2 entries for lip gloss seems excessive, but maybe it is FABULOUS…

8. Chrome Hearts sunglasses:

a. When your website doesn’t list prices, your stuff is out of my price range. And at the rate I lose, break and scratch my sun glasses, these are just not for me…

9. MoMA Yoshitomo Nara journal, $9.95:

a. Always carry a notebook and pen- I carry a no-name version with a back flap to store my coupons.

10. Passion Tazo Tea, $4.99:

a. I carry a baggie of Barry’s Tea bags, which is ridiculously expense and something I would have a hard time living without…(When I lived in Central America, I started to drink coffee because the tea was just that BAD) …I have used Lyons and PG Tips in a pinch…yes, I am a tea snob.

11. Peanut butter cookie Lara Bar, $21.99 for a box:

a. Super healthy…I am not. But I rarely carry snacks with me during a work day since there is a vending machine down the hall.

12. BlackBerry Curve, $150 for two year contract:

a. I inherited a Blackberry plan and a pink blackberry- I will need to ask my daughter what kind it is, because it was hers first and I have no clue …. I am actually considering downgrading to a phone that does not require a data package. My contract is up at the end of this month…

Okay, so here is a list of things I actually carry in my red Fossil tote- but then I lead a different kind of life:

1. Feminine Hygiene products- more than one kind… because the chance of monthly periods coming early is inversely proportional to your level of preparedness. And it is good form to be in a position to help a girlfriend in need.

2. A pocket face mask- Cause you might need to save somebody’s life someday.

3. A paper day planner- Otherwise I would not know where I was supposed to be or when I was there. I used to have a PDA that I hot synched, but lost all my data when my computer crashed…I spent ages trying to figure out what meetings I was missing. And now, I can’t hot synch to my work computer anyway (Only IS knows why) so paper it is.

4. Crayons- in a variety of colors- Because my son always wants a color he did not receive with the kids meal menu.

5. Tweezers- So I can pull the two inch granny hair from my chin that grew in since this morning.

6. An Irish Penny from the year I was born- which is as big as a half dollar and pre-dates the Euro.

7. Stamps- I get the Forever kind cause I NEVER know what the postage price is.

8. A Bottle opener- cause some stuff isn’t twist-off.

9. A pound and a half (or more) of change- which is clearly multiplying faster than I spend it

10. My generic MP3 player- with all my 5 star hits- makes for some interesting listening when it is actually charged

11. My Debit Card: Because I will be debt free and am staying away from credit cards as much as possible.

12. My blood pressure medication- because it is really important that no matter how hectic a life I lead, I take care of me…

Possibilities

I was thinking today of a day years ago and was reminded of what is possible...


The day was dark, overcast and the drowning rain was cold. It was rush hour and my long commute home loomed before me. I was three months pregnant and already exhausted.

I was changing buses at Webster and Tremont Avenue, and truthfully, went inside the fried chicken place more to be dry than to eat. In all honesty, I admit I walked past without seeing them. The fall had been a very stressful time for me- so many decisions to make, a major crossroad. I was preoccupied, lost in my thoughts, ignoring the world around me.

The young Spanish couple noticed them. The first was an old woman, her many bags gathered around her, all her worldly possessions. The young man spoke to her first, in English, but she did not respond. The girl then asked in Spanish if the woman would like a chicken dinner. The woman hesitated, and then replied that she would, and the young girl took her order slowly, patiently. The young man delivered her meal to the table as if he were a waiter in a grand restaurant, concerned that it was exactly as she wanted it.

The young girl then approached a younger woman who seemed confused, or depressed, without a place or plan. A lost soul. She seemed unable to grasp the concept of a free meal from strangers, unable to fit it in with the experiences of her day. This young couple simply radiated a warmth- the woman accepted their generous offer.

I had eaten my meal while watching these exchanges, and was changed by it. As I readied my things to go, I caught the eye of the young man, and said simply, “That was really classy.” He smiled, then the girl turned around. I repeated myself, feeling awkward as the mistiness crept into my eyes. They smiled as I left, and I no longer felt so tired and alone. I felt the warmth of mankind’s possibilities.

Who am I...

I am a professional and have been in my field since 1991. I have two children, and bought my first house after transferring from the East Coast to Southwestern Ohio. As I hate packing/moving, my intention is to die in my house, though no time soon.

Prior to home ownership, I traveled extensively for business and pleasure, and find new places to be exciting. Except Alaska- I will NEVER go back to the Arctic circle- and on principle, Antarctica is out too. They take cold too far. I loved Tyrol, Austria, and Ireland is truly beautiful. Traveling by chicken bus in Central America is an experience words cannot do justice in describing.

My eyes are the best feature, and are a lovely blue color, my hair grows rapidly. It is dark blonde with grey highlights. While I always like to look my best and smell nice, makeup is light, when necessary, and many days it is just not necessary. As for a girlie girl, I am not her.

I tend to be liberal in my worldview; however I try to be tolerant of other viewpoints. I keep up on what happens around the world, as I believe this impacts more than most folks realize. In some ways I am conservative- my ears are the only piercing I will ever have, tattoos are not necessary, I don't do drugs and won't spend time with those that do. Being on time is common courtesy.

I am a Gray's Anatomy fan, I watch Lost like a religion (not rational, but they keep sucking me in). The History Channel is a favorite and HGTV has some shows I watch from time to time, and I watch the news on BBC. Otherwise, it is mostly junk. Jerry Springer is a perfect example of how reality can go so wrong.

I am a "watch movies at home" person, because it is more peaceful. Watched Blood Diamond- awesome and reconfirms my decision never to support the diamond trade. I love movies like Crash and Silence of the Lambs, but don't believe in paying to watch horror films. The single exception is Nightmare on Elm Street- which I saw with a friend. Classic movies are always fun.

I only go to malls when I have a specific need, find it and buy it. I see little reason to waste a day looking around. I do not need to be entertained every minute, though dancing is something I really enjoy. Poker is also a great way to spend an evening. Sky diving was also something I really loved doing. I believe if more people jumped out of planes, drug use in this country would plummet. Did I mention I inherited dry wit from my father.

I confess, I cannot ride a motorcycle- my friend tried with no success, to teach me to shift gears...just something I cannot do...would love to, but I am strictly back seat material. Her husband told me recently some bikes are automatic, so maybe someday. I would have to wear a helmet, as I am a safety first kind of person.

I listen to everything from Led Zeppelin to John Denver, minus all rap after Blondie's Rapture and Sugarhill gang’s Rapper’s delight, and any/all forms of Hip Hop. I just don't think it is music.

I read voraciously- W.E.B. Griffin is my favorite author, and although I hate to admit it, I am a Harry Potter nerd (pre-ordered the books, read them immediately). It is a sickness really.

Texting and instant messaging seems to be taking away the ability of the masses to put full thoughts together in writing. I don't believe I will head down that road, but can never say never.

Having friends and separate interests will always be important.
So that is me.