Year One

 I became an RN Care Manager a year ago today. I have been a Nurse for over 30 years and I think that this will be my retirement job- but I have said that before, so there is no guarantee

But this is a role that has some real benefits- lower taxes, very short commute (6 miles) free parking- not the norm for our hospital- and I have to pack my lunch as the cafeteria has limited options and I haven't gotten a Starbucks latte at the cart here since I started. I am saving a ton of money!

On the downside, I have to update my CV- a task I really do not enjoy- and this is coming from someone who likes to write. Describing what I do with the families shouldn't be as hard as I am finding it.

I also have to get certified, which means taking the certification test- I am already dreading it and I still have a year before I am eligible to schedule it. It's difficult and some folks I work with have not passed it the first time they took it.

I have decided to start reading material early and try to slowly learn the language of the work. I say that because there are many things on the test (veteran benefits, worker's comp and rehab facility regs) that are no part of the work I do each day. My practice involved complex medical needs in children under 19 years of age. So not a lot of Medicare rules of reimbursement in my line of work.

At least I will ace anything related to children and young adults... I hope.

It's a challenge to prepare for a test that is still so far away- like the Nursing Boards all over again. But as I was told then, the worst thing to happen if I don't pass is taking the test again. And paying for it again.

We will see how it goes.

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2025 Resolutions

It is 2025 and I need to put my resolutions in writing to keep me honest: 

1. Get out of debt…. I let myself use a credit card for a holiday and things snowballed. I am in debt AGAIN for the first time since 2017 when I retired my consumer debt. It is unacceptable and I need to start all over again with the baby steps. AGAIN. I cannot be trusted with credit.

2. Manage my weight… I need to be at a healthy weight, and I am nowhere near this goal- I have gained over 30 pounds since Summer 2023. I am eating every fear and emotion. It stops now. 311 pounds is not healthy for anyone of my height.

3. Exercise more… I joined a gym on my birthday last year and now they are closing up shop, so I need to do things in a proactive way.

4. Creativity needs to happen every day. I need to write every day. Read every day.

5. Spend more quality time with my children… This goes with the condition “provided they let me” as family time to a teenager can be seen as a punishment, defeating the whole purpose. I would love to have weekly family game night… Wish me luck…

6. Cook at home more often… AKA, eat out less. Shopping at home first needs to be my new mantra

7. Spend less and save more… More on my spending fast later

8. Lower my expenses…  which means creating a budget and living under my means.

9. Work on my retirement fund and paying down my mortgage… with the pension changes, I need to be more frugal now in order to meet my financial obligations in retirement, which is only seven years away, God willing.

10. Declutter my house… My basement most closely resembles a storage container. I need to do better. And the Vets pick up. My first pick-up of 2025 is tomorrow.

There you have it. A sizable list to be sure. And I have had an almost identical list for more years than I want to acknowledge.

But the big one is my debt- I am ashamed to be in debt again.

I need an all- new spending fast. I have done it before with mixed results but it is the first of the year and so here we go:

Items I need to spend money on:
Mortgage/Home Insurance/Escrow: Not optional!

Urgent Home repairs… I don’t even want to write it down, it’s like asking for something to go wrong.

Utilities (keeping lights and water off as much as possible; keeping the thermostat at 65 and wearing a sweater when the cold comes)

Internet/ Cell Phone- because as much as I need to pay my debt, I need 911 ability and Amazon/Netflix and Disney so I am entertained while staying home.

Food (and I need to shop in cupboards and freezer first)

Doctor Dentist and Medication co-pays- cause healthy is happy

Car insurance/maintenance/gas/oil- I don’t have a car payment but need to keep my car road worthy

Birthday and Christmas gifts for my children: but simple is going to be it moving forward.

Debt repayment and emergency fund...


What I'm NOT spending money on:
Books… painful even to list… but I own a bunch I have not read so enough is enough

Cards - truth be told, I probably have enough cards in the house to last years

Clothes/Coats/and any other thing worn on the body.

Trinkets…AKA crap...There is a great deal of stuff that fits in this category...

New make-up, hair stuff- bands, elastics etc… I barely use the stuff and don't need any more

Bed linens/Towels/Houseware items…I have more than enough- as long as the coffee maker keeps working.

Decorative house stuff- I am done for now

I need to limit Amazon.com to needs, not wants- no more instant gratification

Medical Home

 As a nurse of  over 30 years, I have gotten really good at triage and tough conversations. 

Triage is an art form as much as a science

Sending a kid to the ER because she didn't look right after falling off her bike- she had sweat on her upper lip... something was wrong, but what? She had a pneumothorax.

A step mom told  her step son's arm wasn't broken after a fall, but she took him for an x-ray just in case. It wasn't broken

Having the advanced directives conversation with a family and telling them they should think about what they want to do if  the worst comes... figuring out what they need to do or not do so that if their child 

Sending a kid to a MOHs surgeon after an EB parent described over the phone that a wound on a foot that just didn't look right and it is Squamous Cell Carcinoma...

Telling a mom that when her beloved child threatens to kill herself, that mom cannot be the one to try and figure out if the child is serious or not. It has to be a professional. Because mom's can be wrong and if anything bad happened she would never forgive herself.

You learn what is common.

You learn what is likely.

And sometimes you have to be very direct...

Telling your cousin who doesn't want to take HTN meds that were newly prescribed that it beats having a stroke...

Telling you parent that "not being a good surgical candidate" is not the same thing as not needing heart surgery...

Telling your child you don't care if they feel fine, they passed out and hit their head and need to get checked out, like it or not...

All par for the course.

But when it is serious,  it really sucks.

Being the first one to use the word "Autism"...

Being the one to say "It's stage 4"...

Being the one to say "Put down that it is a terminal illness..."

Telling the truth when asked, what is the worst case scenario?

But you have to do the right thing because it is the right thing to do.

Even when it sucks.

Staycation Movies

I recently stayed with a family member after they had surgery, but they did so well that we spent most of the time watching movies. It was a mix of movies I haven't seen in a while, along with movies I never saw way back when they came out, with a few newer films added to the mix. There were comedies and dramas, Oscar winners and silly fun. The list in no particular order is:

80 for Brady stars Rita Moreno, Jane Fonda, Lily Tomlin, and Sally Field. It is a light story and weirdly, it’s based on a true story. It was silly and funny and brings a new light to the Patriot comeback in 2017. Oh, and Brady is in it.  ANd if you like it, check out Book Club.

Public Enemies, based on John Dillinger's life, stars Johnny Depp. After showing up law enforcement, Dillinger is hunted and killed. 

Last King of Scotland is a fictional story set during Idi Amin's regime in Uganda in the 1970s. Forest Whitaker is brilliant at playing the Ugandan leader and James McAvoy plays a young naive doctor who takes on the role of his personal physician. The movie portrays a leader unraveling. It culminates with the June 27, 1976 Air France Flight 139 hijacking to Entebbe Airport in Uganda- where the real-life Amin had his soldiers support the hijackers. Our doctor escapes with the non-Jewish/non-Israeli passengers who were released. An after-credit notes that the Israelis raided and freed most of the remaining passengers, but that is a different movie.

Tommy Boy- do yeah, I know how old this movie is, and until this vacation, I had never seen it. And apparently, I am the only person in my part of the world who hasn’t. It stars Chris Farley and David Spade and Spade is in charge of keeping Chris Farley on the straight and narrow while they try to save the company Farley inherits. Rob Lowe is a surprise (to me) as the evil “step-brother” who is actually step-mom’s boy toy.

Mrs. Harris Goes to Paris was a story I fell in love with when I saw the trailer an age ago. I had watched it once on my own and had to share it- because it is an absolute delight! The surprise in this one is Lucius Malfoy (yeah I should know the actor’s name) as a truly good guy.

A Man named Otto- Oh My God! I laughed, I cried and not just a little.

 Catch Me if You Can- always worth watching again!

Black Sheep stars Chris Farley and David Spade and   Spade is in charge of keeping Chris Farley on the straight and narrow. Sound familiar?

Bill and Ted's Excellent Adventure- Who could have seen where Keanu Reeves would go from here? Still love after all these years

Philadelphia- still so brutal, just like AIDS.

Commercial-free Spotify

 My son has gifted me commercial free Spotify and it might be the greatest experience ever. Don't get me wrong, I loved my iPod, but Apple really screwed me with that- killing iTunes as I knew it after I uploaded hundreds of CDs... bad form.

And now... music heaven- I have found all the music I have looked for (save one song on one album- seems an odd omission but what can you do!)

I love listening to the songs from every decade of my life. Songs I danced to, songs I cried to, songs of pure joy and celebration. It is a long way from me at twelve recording my favorite songs on my tape recorder straight from the radio- always missing the first bar or so... 

Our first stereo had an eight track tape player. Our car had only AM radio. I lived thru the Walkman, 45s, cassettes, 12 inch dance records, CDs, iPods and this has to be the closest thing to musical heaven... until the next innovation. 

Thanks, John. You were right!

Twelve years on...

 My last real relationship ended twelve years ago today. It occurred to me when I was writing the date today. And in so many ways I am doing so much better that that poor broken girl who had her heart broken. She could not have been convinced at the time that it was just a blip on the radar to a better life.

So many adventures since then, so many changes. 

I have so many things to be thankful for...

So many people to be thankful for...

I am surrounded by love.

And so grateful.

Paddy's isn't going anywhere

It is a great day when you go to a place to say goodbye and find out your place isn't going anywhere. A good time was had by all.